Wednesday, December 14, 2011

You know what I hate? Getting my period.

That 10 day period of just before and during where I spike up 2-3 lbs because of water retention. It always throws me for a loop and drives me absolutely mad. I know exactly what it is and what's going on but for some reason I freak out every single month. I think the worse part of it all is the insatiable hunger and the cravings that come along with it. I need to find a way to ignore these symptoms of my PMS so I don't have to potentially do damage control every month.

I restocked up on my pills that I took around this time last year. However, the water pill I really like (Waterex) is no longer being made by GNC so now I am just taking their generic water pill. I have to take more to get the same effect of just one Waterex pill.

The holidays are starting to look up. I have a pretty sweet holiday schedule this year. I managed to get Christmas eve and Boxing Day off (yay 3 day weekend) and then I'll have an extra day between the 27th and 30th because I have Boxing Day off (counts as a stat holiday if you don't work it). Then I have NYE off and January 2nd (it's my regular day off) so an other 3 day weekend!

I should start looking into solidifying my plans for the NYE weekend. I'm either going to be hosting a large party or doing a double dinner date with T and her bf at our fave restaurant. Or if T bails (other plans) it will just be D and myself having a romantic night out (or invite my sister and her bf if they have the $$). I know dinner is not REALLY the most appealing but it really ends up being cheaper than going to a club dancing ($50+ tickets and then coat check and then drinks all night and possibly a hotel since we live 20 mins away) which can add up to over $300 for D and I alone. Dinner will only be $150 (for 2) plus maybe a bottle of wine or if $$ allows Prosecco or Champagne split between all attendees. Who would have thought a 4 course fine dining experience would be cheaper than an all out bash? It even runs cheaper than hosting a party (munchies, booze, decor, meal etc..) that can really add up.

Well time to get ready for work. The day must begin.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Good morning lovelies,

So  I've seemed to have lost about 5 followers since last week. I hope I didn't do anything to offend.

Well, it seems like things are on the move now. I weighed in today at 60.3 kg (132.6 lbs) after a couple days back up at 61.1kg. I'm focusing more on making sure I eat a little something but keeping it under 200 cals at all times. Therefore, if I eat 4 times in a day I'll only have eaten 800 cals max.

Things with work right now are still as aggrivating as usual, but with the days getting busier as Christmas approaches, my days go by a lot faster. I seem to be having the ideal weekends where I'm done at 6:30pm on Friday and I work 8-4:30 on Saturday. This leaves me with plenty of time to actually do things on the weekend.

My goal for this weekend is to get ALL of my Christmas shoping done and decorate the house. We're just over 2 weeks from Christmas and I haven't started a single thing yet. It's making me anxious that I wont have it done in time.

Other than that, there's not too much new for me. I just wanted to update you all on my progress. I've seemed to have managed to officially pass my plateau!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

New-found Vigor

Hello Lovelies,

I assume that most of you watched the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night. Well, once again like last year and the years before, I have relaunched towards my goals with new vigor. After this weekend of gluttony (as good as it was), I am taking things 100% seriously. I began a fast last night at 10pm (with the fashion show) and have decided that there is no set time for it but the first thing I will consume to break the fast will be steamed veggies.

I have decided that I will only weigh myself in kg (I will still update with lbs on here as well) because I find that you are in a kg for long that in a lb. These 1-2lb fluctuations are really grating on me so I would rather see a slower move with kg. Plus it will be a bigger accomplishment to move down a full kg. More permanent.

I do know that with this fast, I can probably be successful over the next 2 days as I work closing shifts tonight and tomorrow and D won't be around too much.

I am going to work extra hard to fit in workouts wherever I possibly can. Even if it's only sit ups during commercials or some other simple exercise. Or even in the mornings attempt to do a P90X DVD before work. I can't let myself be lazy like this or apathetic. I need to have some sort of accomplishment. This is the only one I can really work on with total success, but that success is up to me.

I also want to welcome my new followers that have started reading the last month or so. I'm usually better and saying hi and welcome. But as you've seen, I really haven't been good at much lately let alone keeping things up with this blog. When I don't have access to reading all your blogs, I do spend some time on Twitter. If you care to do so, you can follow me on there @ThinThoughts03.

I do plan on sitting down with T before the holidays to workout a regimented plan with -ideally- weekly check-ins/gym sessions.

Anyways off to work with me for today. Wish me luck on the fast!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Sorry lovelies!

While changing my layout and design I messed up my font. The font is back to Arial. My last post should now be readable.
Hello lovelies,

So the weekend was a blast. The night out ended up not being dinner. Just drinks. Saturday I ate about 2 cups of rasberries and then half a cup of salad (no dressing) and 1/4 cup of couscous. I would say that I was under 500 for the day in food. I then had 3 glasses of white wine and 3 glasses of Prosecco. I had a blast and saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while.

I did find an outfit for the night. It was a black dress with a lace overlay and a little jersey cotton 3/4 sleeve jacket.

Sunday, we went to a friend's for brunch to see their new puppy. I had a lot of fruit salad and a small piece of  the frittata that we made. After a day of slowly packing up from the night before, T and I went to the Wakefield Inn & Spa for our birthday spa date. I had a facial and she had a massage. After we spent some time in the hot tub before we went to dinner. It would be an understatement to say that we ate lavishly. We split our meals. (Note: there was no way at all that this meal would be low cal) Everything was made from local farms and everything was in season. The food was rich but fresh.

First course was Foie Gras with apple butter and maple syrup and a sesame tuile and lamb tartare with sweetbreads. Main was lightly deepfried tofu with a medly of roast vegetables, maple glazed beets and a smoked tomato sauce and Guinea Fowl with a beer gravy with roasted vegetables and garlic compote mashed potatoes. Dessert was a chocolate springroll with pumpkin spice ice cream and toffee marshmallows and apple beignettes with smoked vanilla ice cream.

It was very tasty and I'm still full from yesterday's eats. Today, I've had a banana and a lot of water. I'm at 133.8 today and I'm planning on keeping things rather low today. I'm doing some calisthetics while I do my laundry.

I've done my security check for the placement agency and now it's just the waiting game.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Quick Update Before Work

Good morning lovelies!

Well, in practice I've been eating under 1000 cals most days. Some days a little over and some days I've managed to be under 500. I'm now working out twice a week and I've managed to stay at within the 133-134 mark. It's a start seeing as my daily fluctuations were between 134-136 prior. I can do way better and I'm slowly working on it. I'm not eating after 9 and I'm turning down candy and junk at work. I will get back to the discipline I had when I first started this blog. I know I have it in me but I just have to get back there.

In other news, I and now set up with a loca employment agency. Now I have a company working on finding me something. I haven't made any progress on getting myself set up for French classes yet but it is the next thing on my list.

Tomorrow, I'm going out for dinner with T and a bunch of our friends to celebrate our birthdays. Tonight's goal is to find something to wear out (using birthday money) and scouring the menu for the least caloric items on the menu. I need to make it seem like I'm eating but I don't want to have 3 courses. I'd rather stick to one small plate and then spend the rest of my calories on cocktails and wine. One thing I do know is that I can hide behind the excuse that I don't have much money to spend on dinner out. On Sunday, I'll be spending the day with T. This means a mandatory trip to the gym or yoga studio (yay!) and a very healthy brunch in the morning. Sunday evening, we have a spa date and will be getting pampered!

Well I must be off to work now, but I'll try to post a photo of what I'll be wearing tomorrow night or I'll post a photo when they go up on Facebook.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hello lovelies,

So I finally bought myself a scale and I am still hovering at about the 137 spot. Mind you, I have been eating like a pig the last few weeks. So it only makes sense that I weight like one. I guess that I'm just getting stressed over everything that I'm turning to food.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my mom just hanging out and helping her around the house. At some point during the day I must have pulled something in my back, because now I can barely move. All I can do is lie down. It's really discouraging because I really want to get to the gym or go for a walk. I just need to get moving again, I'm not active enough anymore.

I'm still looking into French classes. I haven't yet found any that seem like the right ones. I have been told that one of the colleges in town does night courses. So that's my next avenue to go down.

I'm having my birthday in 2 weeks. I hope my back un-seizes in the next couple of days so I can get to the gym. I want to at least get back down to 134 so I'm not so bloated. I know it's totally doable and I know I could probably get down a little lower. I know that my clothes at least fit a lot better when I'm 3lbs lighter. So that's my goal. Just to make my clothes fit again and then I will really crack down. I hope to be able to finally move over this bump (read mountain).

I need to talk to D about keeing junk food out of the house. I've started to get better. I don't cave and get a pastry when I go to get a coffee and I'm eating a lot more fruits and veggies instead of breads and other carbs. My plan is to make a set weekly meal plan. No to very little breads and lots of protein and veggies. Not necessarily no carb or low carb but no refined flours and such. Also, I will make a point of posting at least 3 times a week. I'm really starting to miss writing down my thoughts. I want to get back into the community. I miss all of you terribly much.

On a good note, I bought D and me tickets to the Prince concert. It's part of his Christmas present and Prince is one of his favourite pop artists. I thin it's going to be a great show. We have nose-bleed seats but I can say I've seen Prince live!

Anyways, back to lumping on the couch. I miss you all!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Hello lovelies,

So D and I got approved for the line of credit and will soon be paying off (deferring) our tax bill. So mini crisis averted - kinda.

Today I have off since Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving. I wont go into details about that meal. It was just big. So my plans today are to job hunt (as usual). I'm also heading downtown to finally get my highlights redone and change up my cut a little. So that's pretty exciting.

Yesterday, while I was at work, I was roaming the floor at work and came across the most amazing thing EVER. My warehouse is selling the ENTIRE Jem and the Holograms series on DVD for only $50!! So needless to say, I'm heading into work to go pick it up. I'm super excited. I'm not sure if any of you remember or even know what that series was. But you should all seriously google it. It was a show that went for 3 seasons in 1985 and is about this girl who's father left a music management company to her after his death and finds this hologram machine that changes her into Jem. Anyways, look it up. It's awesome. You won't regret it.

I was talking with D and my family over the weekend and I think I may go back to school or at least get an other certification. My dad suggested maybe doing an MBA or something. This is all really scary and intimidating. I don't know how I would manage school with working full time but I know it's neccessary to find a job. At the least I think I'm going to take French courses so I can become certified billingual. I know having billingulism officially on my resume will probably get me a cut higher on the pile than I am now. I will have to start researching programs and seeing how long doing a part time MBA would take me. I wouldn't want to be 30 and only entering the job force. I think that would just be too hard. But I have to weigh my options and see what would probably be best for me. I'm also thinking of calling up some of the PR agencies here in town to do some informational interviews to see what people are looking for and some suggestions on how to get these requirements.

Anyways, off to the job hunt with my Tim's and then off to have my day to me :)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I hate my body.
I hate my job.
I hate my life.

What else is new?

Nothing really. All I want to do is curl up into a ball and just disappear. No one would notice, really. I'm not even a blip in this world. Why should I even bother now? I'm almost at top scale at my job. I'm only a year away, and then another 6 months until I start getting bonuses. Why should I look elsewhere.

I'm almost 5 years out of school with nothing to show for it. Soon I'll be totally undesirable and I won't get out of here. So why bother now. I'm always tired I have no more drive to push I might as well just give up.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


I'm sick of everything.

Oh there's the usual, I hate my job, my body, my lack of success, my going nowhere, blah blah blah blah...well on top of all the what-all-my-latest-post-have-been-about I just got dinged with $3,500 in city and municipal taxes to pay by October 27. Just when I thought at least things were evening out financially a little I get this punch in the gut. How the F am I supposed to come up with that money when I only bring in $2000 a month and half goes to my mortgage then my cable/internet/phone bill is $250 each month plus attempting to pay off my maxed out credit cards and D is in the same boat as me. He brings in just about $3000 each month. He puts the same away for the mortgage, pays the gas bill $75, hydro $100, water $50 plus his student loan, laptop payment. We just sent off our car insurance $700 and I have to renew my plates on my car in a month $150 and get an emission test $50 and get my brakes done $500 and any other maintenece before the winter.

Where is this money going to come from?? I haven't even factored in general living costs or gas for the car. Now I know some of you will think great no spending money on food, but I can't even look at doing ANYTHING entertaining between now and December. I don't even think I can afford to buy anyone Christmas gifts. T is having her competition at the end of October and I don't think I can afford to go and 1) see it and 2) partake in the festivities afterwards.

I really need to find a new job that will pay me more than what I'm making now. I'm really freaking out here guys. I don't want to default on anything. I feel like I'm back where I was in the spring. I don't want to ask anyone for money. I don't want to have to take out a line of credit. I don't see me having any other choice.

I miss when I didn't have these responsibilites. I'm not even sure how they figure how they're taxing us. What they base the amounts on.

Sorry for the rant lovelies. All of you who are still sticking around, you are all amazing. I've been such a crappy blogger and still you all stay. I just want to thank each and every one of you.

Anyways, I have to go pick up D from work and talk to him about all of this.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


I'm not sure what I did on vacation but I'm no longer at my steady 134. And you know what? I miss my stagnant plateau. I keep spiking at 138. I don't know what's wrong.

Tonight at midnight I'm starting a 48 hour liquid fast with some girls from Twitter. So no solids will pass these lips at all. What I'm allowing myself:

- Vegetable broth/boullion if I'm hungry
- G2 for electrolytes
- Water
- Tea
- Coffee with only one little milker.

So here goes nothing. I'll be starting the SGD on Saturday to continue.

Miranda (it's weird calling you by that!):
The whole water retention thing. Right now your body is relishing in the water you're giving it. It will hold onto it because it's trying to use it all. Keep up the intake and really work on upping your intake and you will see in a couple of days you won't be able to go an hour without peeing! After days where I forget to drink water I definitely hold onto more but I make a point in drinking ridiculous amounts so I can flush the crap out that same day. Jest keep with it. You'll find it gets better.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Hello lovelies.

So yesterday was my 1st year anniversary. It was a nice day. We spent the day downtown, walked around the market, saw my parents, and then went for dinner to a little tapas-type place downtown. Oddly, for some reason, it didn't feel special. I thought it was going to be some wonderful day, but it just felt like any other day. I'm still happy in my marriage. I love my husband, but I guess my general apathy at everything is just starting to take its toll.

I know my posts are few and far between and not the happiest of things. But this is the only place that I can just let everything out. I feel I have to keep up a certain persona every day. I alway have to be the strong one, the one where things just roll off me. When I try to talk to D about being "a little" unhappy, he always say I'm too depressive about things. I don't know how to tell him that everything is just chipping away at me. I feel inadequate.

I guess all I can do is just keep going forward no matter what.

D and I are going to see Pearl Jam on Wednesday night. I'm quite excited and D is over the moon (they're his all time favourite band). I've asked D if we can go see the opera Pagliacci that's playing at the theatre this weekend. He said we'll see what money is like after pay. My goal for the week is to clean the house top to bottom. I've been so apathetic that the place is just a disaster zone. So, I'm planning on taking it one room at a time. Today, the bedroom and our closet. I think I'm also going to go for a walk today.

Anyways, another goal of mine is to post at least twice a week. I really need to start up again on here. I miss my outlet and my own space.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

So this week has been total maintenance mode. I'm managing a steady 134-5. Tomorrow morning I'll be going to the gym and thursday I'll be doing a major session with T. I'll pretty much be spending my entire time there trying to keep up with her. I need to figure out a good workout plan because I often times find myself wandering around aimlessly trying to figure out what to do or where to start.

Would any of you lovelies be able to point me to a site or app that has good workouts planned or even send me your workouts?? I'm at a point where I don't think I really know where to start that will get me going. I'm finding I'm avoiding the gym because I don't know what to do. I need a plan. No more slacking or excuses. I could really use the help.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Hello lovelies, I'm still alive.

I've just been too ashamed to post anything since my vacation. I came back from vacation at 140. I know most of it was water retention from the high sodium foods I did eat and my period but it was the worst thing to see when I got back. I cried when I saw the number on the scale. I couldn't believe it. The last 2 weeks I have been in high restricting mode and I've dropped back down to 133. I still haven't been able to pass it yet but I'm working on it.

There's not a whole lot going on with me at the moment. Just back into the same old routine for me. This weekend is Labour Day so I'll be spending most of it with my family. I've already planned to go to a yoga class with my mom on Sunday morning.

I sent off my resume to one of the companies that my contact told me to. They e-mailed me back saying that they just hired someone and wont be hiring in the near future. So back to the drawing board. I'll be following up with my contact to see if there are any other directions we can take but for now back to the impersonal job post.

Anyways lovelies, I'm off to work.

I'm still reading from my phone so I haven't fully disappeared.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

So incredibly bloated. I'm not used to eating so much so often. I can't restrict, I'm always eating with my family. I'm a wreck not being able to weigh myself. I walk constantly during the day. Monday we went shopping in Atlantic City and walked for 6 hours. Sunday we did a 2 hour walk along the beach. And each night we walk for an hour. But I'm so bloated. I feel hideous.

I'm not sure if it's eating out most of the time (probably is). Here's to hoping that I can reduce the bloat. I really don't like being in my bathingsuit.

Or and here is an updated shot of me from Monday:

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Thanks ladies for all your help!

FedUp: I know I can let myself relax a little because if I don't I won't have fun. But I still need to keep it in the back of my mind because I don't want to come back 5-6 lbs heavier. Can't afford that.

Zette: thanks for the tip! I have my measuring tape in my makeup bag to keep track.

Bonsiomicheri: thanks for reading! Do you have a blog?? I'm not sure what I'm going to get. But whatever it is I'll have to hide it from my parents. Not sure how I'll get away to buy them. In the meantime I've packed my green tea pills and my chromium pilconate to tide me over.

So I'm currently sitting in bed at the hotel in Wilkes-Barr outside of Scranton. We had dinner at Red Robin. Definitely ate too much but I had a small burger wrapped in lettuce with broccoli as a side.

I realized today that this trip is like a tv show tour! Starting off in Scranton (The Office) then the Jersey Shore (not seaside though we're in Stone Harbour) and then Atlantic City (Boardwalk Empire). I thought it was kind of fun!

Do any of you American ladies have any suggestions on diet pills?? I'll be near a TJ Maxx tomorrow.

Anyways, I'm off to read for a bit then head to bed. Night night.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Well I'm back at 133 and today the only slip up was when D surprised me and took me out for lunch. We went to quiznos. To combat that. I'm going for coffee with a friend during dinner time and then running a few last errands before my vacation.

I'm currently waiting at the bank to make a withdrawal from my TFSA (tax free savings account).

Thursday morning:

I didn't get a chance to finish my post from yesterday so I'm continuing today...

I'm currently on the bus, heading downtown to see T. We are doing a yoga class this morning. It's called forest and it's a core intensive class and the last position is the hand/head stand. I need a good core workout. Plan is today to only have coffee and booster juice until dinner with our hiubbies. I just have to make sure T doesn't rag on me too much.

So, somehow today I'm back up to 135. I did have that quiznos yesterday. And I guess I didn't drink enough water but with all the walking and yoga today ill work most of it off. I'm nervous about going on vacation. No scale for over a week and having to eat normally is really making me nervous. Especially since I can't buy anymore diet pills until after vacation. I can't buy any today because T will lecture me and I won't be able to buy any in the states as my parents will be with me and that's a big no no. Even though stocking up on some US pills would be awesome. Try something new that's not available in canada would be awesome. Plus US pills are stronger than the canadian ones.

Anyways, I'm getting off the bus.

Empty Shell: it will be really good for you to get out of that place soon. I think once exboy is no longer living with you the drama will start going away. He sounds incredibly damaged and wants to bring whoever down with him.

FedUp: I'm glad you had fun on your vacation. I've done things like that to hubby where I've seen something at a store that I really lie and have asked him to buy it for me. You will totally get back down. I'm jealous and in awe of your discipline. Something I can't seem to get control of.

Kat Not Jas: I'm not sure what to make of A. It's a little alarming that he relies on the booze to loosen things up. I say you just let things run their course and just wait til he comes back. It will give you time to figure out if you really want to do fwb. It's a hard thing to do especially when you have such strong feelings. I've been down that road all too often. It only ends up working well for the one who is more detatched. Otherwise your constantly disappointed. Just take your time and readjust when he comes back.

Ahhhh :) much better :) I've been wanting to comment for ages!
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

How I'm Currently Feeling

I'm really starting hate this computer! No matter what I do it wont let me comment on all of your wonderful blogs!!

GAH! I feel so disconnected from all of you. Either this damned machine is too slow to do anything on, or I just can't do the things I want to do. I wish we had the cash to repair D's laptop but that's one of the last things on our priority list. Bah!

So the Backstreet Boys concert was AWESOME!

I definitely screamed like a little 12 year old girl and swooned many a time. Brian is still gorgeous, and Donnie is looking better than Mark, and Danny is just F'ing HOT. I had no voice and no hearing by the end of the concert and was super giddy all day and night!

I left home Friday morning with 3lbs lost from the week only to gain it back by the end of the weekend. It's hard when your selection of food is all either ordered in or eaten out. The sodium and high fat doesn't help at all. Most of it is water and since yesterday I'm back down to 134 from the 136 on Sunday night.

Yesterday, I didn't focus on restricting as D was home all day and we were going to my parent's for dinner for his birthday (which meant cake). I still came out on top because I made sure to flush my system with lots and lots of water. Today I start liquids, fruits and veggies all week. No carbs. Very little meat. I washed 20 raspberries at about 7:30 this morning and I still have 2 left at 9:30. I've already consumed a litre of water and am boiling a pot of tea as we speak.

I bought lots and lots of veggies yesterday and some unsweetend chocolate almond milk as well (45cals/serving). I think I'm well prepared for the rest of the week to lose some real weight. I'm heading to the gym this afternoon and plan on going twice tomorrow. Thursday, I'm taking a yoga class and going for a long long walk with T. Then, I leave bright and early for NJ on Friday morning to go sit on a beach.

I would like to say hello to my new follower. You girls seem to be popping out of nowhere these days!! Thanks for following me!

I have a phone meeting later this morning with my contact for that internship/Fashion Week/networking opportunity. I'm going to be putting the finishing touches on everything and sending out my resume. Wish me luck ladies! I really hope something comes out of this. I really need a break and really need to get out of this rut.

Anyways, I'm off to get my stuff together for my meeting and get ready for the day. I also plan on going and getting a Mystic Tan so I don't walk onto the beach with weird tan lines.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Wow, well I can tell I haven't been on blogger on my computer in a long time when I got 3 new followers without noticing!! Welcome you 3! If you have blogs that aren't linked on your profile, put your link in the comments so I can follow you back. I'm sorry about the lack of commenting lately. D's computer is broken and my computer is just f'ed. Every time I try to post a comment, it wants me to sign back in but never posts the comment. Also, my computer is super slow so it's easier for me to read on my phone through google reader.

I'm currently on day 3 for the SGD and I've done decently on the first two days. A little over but nothing alarming. It's D's birthday today so I'm fasting until dinner so I can eat with him without going over 400 cals.

I have 2.5 more shifts until my vacation!! I can't wait and I'm super excited for the NKOTBBSB concert on friday night in Montreal! I've been listening to the Backstreet Boys non stop all week! I'm just a little bit of a fanatic! It's going to be epic!

Anyways lovelies, I have to start my work day so I'll keep reading all of you from my phone!
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Monday, July 25, 2011

So, I'm being visited by Aunt Flo this week so weight is all off. Mind you, I'm at a normal range right now than my crazy usual spike. So I'm looking at this as a good thing.

I didn't quite stick to my veggie fast too much. I did make it to the gym 4 times last week and I drank an average of 4L of water every day as well (the crazy 50 degree weather had a lot to do with that).

I went out shopping to get a few last things for my vacation yesterday. I went to go get some new bras, which I'm desperately in need of) and I ended up getting sized at a 34D!! I've been a 36B my entire life and this just blew me right away. My boobs are not THAT big! I do know that a 34 band is too tight so I could be a 36C?? Eventhough the Ds fit it was too much for me. I left without a bra.

This week, I'm getting my hair cut (FINALLY) and just trying to make it through my work week. I have less than 2 weeks left until I'm on vacation for 2 weeks. So here's to hoping I can survive.

This weeks goals:

Gym at least 3x
Water at least 2L/day
Food under 700 cals/day

I'm toying with the idea of starting up on the SGD until my vacation. I'll go until I go to Montreal and then start back up until I leave for Jersey.

What do you lovelies think?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Good morning lovelies,

So last night, I finally heard back from that guy for my resume and possible career development. We will be having a phone meeting later this morning to go over my resume and write a couple of letters to some key people. He wants me to apply for the PR intern this fall and then in the spring work as the PR rep. Pretty exciting eh? I will be attending the Pre-Party to meet the people I'm writing the letters to. I'm super pumped and anxious but this means: Hair, makeup, new dress and possible new shoes. I haven't had a hair cut since New Year's and I'm not sure what one would wear to this kind of thing, but I know whatever I wear will have to be is a pre-party for a week long fashion show! After that I'll be attending the event. So that means I need to book a week off of work or work something out with my boss that I need to be off early or something like that.

So I started my veggie/soup fast last night. I didn't eat anything but veggies and one plum, but I had a crap-ton of veggies. 3 baby bok choy heads and about 2 cups of yellow flat beans. All from my grandmother's garden so super fresh but it was a lot. Today, I'm bringing soup to work and having some more bok choy (steamed with a drop of sesame oil on each). Tonight, hopefully I wont be ravenous and I'll just come home from work tonight and relax and be in bed by 10:30.

I didn't go to the gym yesterday, but with the running around and lifting I did putting together volume orders I think I got a decent workout. I was lifting multiple bags of 20kg of baker's flour, multiple 4kg bags of sugar, a super large order of milk (over 70 bags of it) plus a variety of other massively massive packages of food products. Plus I was pushing/pulling the flat beds that have these orders on them around the warehouse. I was planning on going this morning but now I have the phone meeting so my gym time will have to wait until tomorrow (I did go Monday).

On to my water consumption.

Monday I think I managed to drink about 2L, and yesterday MAYBE 1.5L. I didn't get much chance to be around my water bottle at work since I was running around like crazy. Today, I will be at the counter all day so I will definitely be able to consume a lot of water. Plus I'll have the soup for my lunch today as well.

Here's to a full day of veggies and soup!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Hello lovelies,

So the meeting went well and he said he would help me out. Which is amazingly awesome! I sent him my resume first thing Monday morning with an email thanking him for his time and such. I haven't heard anything back as of yet. If I don't hear anything by tuesday, I'll be giving him a follow up call.

So I've been having trouble keeping my water intake up. I'm barely drinking a litre in a day. I barely pee and when I do its a dark yellow (sorry for the tmi). And because I'm not drinking enough, I'm eating more because I have that thirst/dehydration that comes as hunger. I need to get back on track. I'm retaining and having a slow gain. Not good. I am getting to the gym now at least twice a week which is getting better. I'm aiming for 3 this week.

My vacation is coming up in 3 weeks and it won't be coming soon enough! I really need a break from work.

D is going away for work again this week so it will be just me for 3 days. My plan is to only consume some vegetable soup while at home and a small salad wrap and fruit at work. That with the gym should hopefully let me drop down to about 130 by the end of the week.

Anyways, goals this week:

Don't eat more than 500 a day
Gym at least 3x this week
Concentrate on drinking more water and drink at least 2L or 10 glasses.

I promise I will update again soon. I need to hold myself accountable again. I've been slacking.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Hello lovelies,

So not much has changed. Still hovering in the 133-135 depending on the water I've had the day before. I managing to stay within a 800 cal range and my gym visits are slowly starting to become more and more frequent. I went once the week before and twice this week.

Today, my sister has set up a meeting with one of her clients from the tanning salon she works at. He is highly involved with the Ottawa Fashion weeks and he might be able to get a good word in for me for one of the internship or really good volunteer positions. So, we'll see what comes of it.

Regular job postings are pretty scarce at the moment. Not too much that interests me at the moment.

Anyways, off to get ready and to try to find something to wear that is professional while still kinda trendy??

Wish me luck!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Back and kinda better

Hello lovelies,

I'm back. I've dug my way out of this funk somewhat. I'm still down about the whole inadequacy thing but I know that I wont be feeling much better about it until I find myself a new job. The last week and a bit was bad. I just found myself crying suddenly for no reason at all. Well I knew what I was crying about but it would just come on suddenly and I would have to go hide somewhere so no one would see me. This was especially hard at work. There's no one there that I could tell any of this to because the entire store would know in seconds flat and it's usually not good form to tell people you work with and your bosses that you hate your job and are doing everything possible in your power to get the hell out and away from the place. So, I found myself in the bathroom a lot hiding out in a back stall.

I've had a couple of mini-binges because of the emotional ups and downs but I've managed to steady myself again. I'm back on my days off so today's plan is clean the house, go to the gym and only consume coffee water and veggies. Those should be tasks that will take up all of my time. I did laundry yesterday while I was at my parents' for my grandmother's birthday so I have a good 2 hours or so of folding, ironing and mending to do. For the first time yesterday, our "family meal" was something extremely safe. My mom made this Asian salad (lettuce, cucumber, carrots, bean sprouts, mint and basil with a home made asian dressing) and had grilled salmon (in foil pouches so more steamed really) and flank steak. I stuck to the salad with 2 oz of salmon and one strip of steak. However my mom made these huge parfaits that made up all the calories from a roast and potatoes. It had lime curd and a cream cheese cream with lots of berries. My mom insisted on making a double recipe because she thought the recipe didn't make enough for 8. Well the cup sizes were not meant to be massive goblets. I would have been happy with a tiny dessert but oh well, I didn't eat all of mine.

Canada Day I spent downtown. Will & Kate were in the city for a "visit" or whatever you want to call it. I managed to see Will make his address on the hill and then spent my day searching for shade and somewhere out of the sun for a drink or two. I got VERY burnt and had a touch of heat sickness. I've got a bit of a tan on my shoulders, face and arms now. My legs are still as pasty as ever. Canada Day was fun but the crowds were too crazy this year because of Will & Kate.

To help me get experience to find a job, I'm trying to get an internship/volunteering position for Ottawa's Fashion Week in the fall. My sister knows someone who's very involved in the shows. She works at a tanning salon downtown and he's one of her clients. So next weekend, I'll be meeting up with him for an interview of sorts. Basically he wants to know who he's "recommending." Hopefully this points me in the right direction. :)

Well, that's really all that's been going on with me of late. I'm not really involved in much else at the moment. But I'm still reading your blogs and I'm still around so if I'm not posting regularily it's because I don't have much to talk about other than the same stuff day in and out. I don't want to sound like a broken record TOO much ;)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

totally omg need this!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Dear lovelies,

Sorry I haven't been posting regularily. I'm in some mean funk. I'm so down with the lack of $$, my crap of a job and the lack of new opportunities popping up. I started crying at work for no reason at all today. Very embarassing.

I'll post again when I have something better to talk about other than getting down on myself.

I'm still reading your blogs though! I'm still around.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Hey lovelies!

So I'm just getting over my cold. It was not a fun weekend. I was dizzy and fuzzy headed all weekend. I couldn't think or speak straight. There's been a virus going around recently and I could possibly have this cough and sniffles (minus the fuzziness) for another few weeks.

Today, I'm meeting with someone I used to work with in the office who now works for the YMCA Employment Resources centre nearby. I hope she can help me improve my chances in finding a new job. My sister and mom have been sending me links to Event Planning/PR companies around the city saying I should volunteer my time. I would love to do that but I just don't have the time anywhere to fit in volunteering. My sister even is suggesting I volunteer this fall at the Ottawa Fashion Week. Maybe pick up one of their internships. Which is doable because I can work from home on my off time from work and then I would just have to take a week off in October for the actual event. I was reading the bios of employees from some of the companies and they have taken journalism and Masters in communications and done internships in places like NYC, LA, Europe etc and are now working back in Ottawa...It's starting to make sense why I can't get into the industry. But hopefully the volunteer work will get me SOMEWHERE...

So I'm back down to 135 exactly. Yesterday I had some iceberg lettuce and 1/4 of a small tomato, a banana, a tall non-fat iced latte and then a bit of steak with steamed asparagus and a salad with D. My day totalled at about 671 cals. Today, I plan on really only having some rasberries and another salad like my lunch yesterday. Along with my iced latte I don't want to go over 500 today. I work late tonight so I don't have to eat infront of D.

Anyways, I have to run to catch my bus!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Woo! Free time to ACTAULLY do a proper post!

Hello lovelies!

So I finally have found a moment alone to update you all on my goings ons.

So my back is finally not in super agonizing pain anymore. Still not quite sure what I did to it...but I'm definitely on the mend. It's made for quite boring days at work.

This week hasn't been the greatest. Being couch-bound for days straight, gives a big opening to the boredom monster. You know when he's around when you just continuously snack because there is nothing better to do. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I ate tons of fruit and veggies and Wednesday I packed a good lunch albeit a larger one (whole wheate pasta steamed bok choi and cut up strawberries). The large consumption wasn't BAD consumption until Wednesday night. My coworker who drove me home after we closed stopped by McDonald's and offered to get me some. It's all completely my fault no blame game here but on me completely. I said "sure!" I figured that She would drive me home while I munched a fry or two then toss it all when I got in the door. Nope...We ate in the parking lot...I ate an entire big mac meal. Yup, I suck. I'm back up to 138. Been there since yesterday.

Yesterday I had a total of 500 cals until about 5 then when I met my mom for our pedi date last night she took me out for dinner. I decided to have some Thai curry (spicy to speed up metabolism and to make me eat it slower). I'm going to say the half portion I ate came to about another 250. So I don't think it was a bad day yesterday. However, with a back injury, going to the gym i just not an option so I haven't been able to work anything off at all this week...yay.

Today, I work and then I'm going shopping for a dress for an event that I'm going to tomorrow. Hopefully the 3lb gain this week doesn't make this absolute torture for me. I'm excited though. One of my favourite stores is having a big sale this weekend and I'm hoping to walk away with a really awesome piece for summer! :)

So it's back on the wagon  for me. My consumption today will be liquids except for some fruit. I wont be taking in any solids other than the berries I have in my fridge. This is until I get downtown tonight, and then I'll probably have a salad or a small wrap from wherever we end up eating (we're meeting up with my sister as well so it's become a social thing). Off to my first tea while I check e-mails and drink my mint tea.

Thanks for the comments ladies and welcome to my 3 new followers - brixy, and Mich!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

measurements updated. I think it's just because i'm on my low before my period.

I've busted my back and had to leave early from work after spending the last 2 days on the couch. There goes any opportunity to workout this week. Well. not much to update now. D's home and curious

Thursday, June 9, 2011

SO frustrated at my scale right now...

After seeing the 133 on the TANITA test on Monday, and seeing 135-137 all week here at home is making me worry about what scale is right. Should I just keep going by my bathroom scale or should I go by the one the gym uses that's probably calibrated on a regular basis?? My scale which measures body fat even says I have around 21%. The TANITA said 25%...I'm kinda more inclined to say the TANITA is correct since I wasn't really working out before. I know I would be considered "skinny fat" so that makes sense.

Sorry had to get that off my chest.


Hello GoxXy! Welcome to my blog!


I didn't get the job. Back to square one. Back to my second full time job of finding a new full time job.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Hello lovelies!!

So it's summer in full swing here. Today it will be over 43 with the humidex. Thank goodness I'll be inside all day today. Unfortunately, I'll be working until 9:30 tonight but gotta make a buck.

I'm still waiting to hear back from the job I interviewed for the other week. I've been on edge for the last week wondering if I will be getting out of Costco for good or not.

Driving around town on the weekend I discovered that there's going to be a Moksha hot yoga studio opening up near by! I'm super excited about this because I may just be able to take yoga regularily again! woo! There's no schedule posted yet and no opening date yet. But I'm hoping that this studio will have some regular people hours rather than marketing directly to stay at home wives/moms.

Anyways, I'm off to get ready for work.

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Damage

So as promised here are the stats from the Tanita test from the gym.

Weight:      133.6 lb (my scale at home weighed me in at 135)
BMI:          21.6
BMR:        1430
Fat %:        25.1 % (NOT good at all)
Fat Mass:   33.6 lb
FFM:         100 lb (this is fat free mass)
TBW:         73.2 lb (this is total body water)

So I'm in the "desirable" range but I need to bring down my Fat % by AT LEAST 4%. I'll be able to do this by working out and cutting out a lot of bad foods. I should be eating better. I'm eating low cals but not good ones (if that makes sense).

The trainer also went over what I was eating. Even with lying about half of what I was doing (adding extra meals) she still said I wasn't eating enough! I was like Holy (insert explative here)! How much do you expect me to eat?? If I did what she was saying I would always be eating something. I wouldn't be able to do anything OTHER than eat! I don't know if I can bring myself to eat at my BMR level on a regular basis. Maybe I'll keep that as my maximum allowance when I know I'll be eating at a friend's or out. I think that seems like a good level. Oh well. So that's the dirt on me.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The big 200 ~!!

Hello lovelies!!

As part of my 200th post I've decided to do a bit of a thinspo post. I thought I would change it up and add some images to this post instead of just blabbering on as I normally do :p

And finally, here is just an entire post that has aptly been named Posting bikini pics on Facebook takes balls… and a great body

So onto the usual now


I got an e-mail from the company I interviewed with last week. I'm still in the running for the job and should probably find out next week.

D took me downtown last night on a date :) We ate at one of the pubs in the market. I just had a garden salad and then we went and browsed in the mall. I bought a t-shirt from Marciano in the yellow. I also bought 2 nail polishes from Chanel. I had money left on a gift card at the Bay (department store) from my wedding gifts and I thought I would spoil myself with two bottles:

Tomorrow I will be giving myself a much deserved (and needed) mani-pedi. I really love spoiling myself every now and then and 2 gorgeous colours for my nails is the perfect way to do it. I will be getting my hair done next weekend (FINALLY) and I'll be lightening the colour ever so slightly.

In 2 weeks I have an anniversary party/dinner to go to for one of the schools I went to. I have absolutely no idea what to wear and I can't really afford to buy a new dress for the occasion. I'm thinking something maybe simple like a LBD. I don't really have anything summery and current that would be awesome to wear so I think I might just keep it simple.

I went out tonight with my parents and my sister to the movies. We saw X-men First Class. It was pretty good. Nothing awesome, but still it was nice to be out with the family for an evening.

Monday, I have an appointment at the gym to have my stats taken. So I'll be measured, weighed and I will have my body fat and such taken as well. I will then promptly come home (If I can't talk them into letting me use the gym early as my first day is the 14th) and post on here exactly what their magical machine has put me at. Right now, my scale reads me at 136 lbs and too much body fat. I will post their number I just don't like what my scales says right now.

I have decided to do another 4 week plan with the Highschool Beauty Queen website. It's another points system but the program is a lot more flexible. I'm allocated a maximum of 26 points a day. Food accumulated points and exercise/cardio removes points. So there will be a lot of incentive to keep working out. It will be a great final push for the month of July before my vacation. I will post the plan later this week. For June, my goal is just to get into the habit of going to the gym multiple times in a week. I hope to be able to get there at least 4 times every week.


I just wanted to thank all of you for still reading this blog. I never thought I would get 56 readers here. You are all amazing! Sometimes, I feel like just a speck in this endless community of wonderful people and think: nobody would ever read my rants and babbles, but you girls are all here. Thank you for putting up with my 200 posts of nothing, failed attempts, my slow labourious weight loss and just in life in general. I hope to share 200 more (and many more) with you all!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I have a gym membership again!! (does a dance around the room) technically doesn't start until the 14th because I can't make payment until the end of the month, but I HAVE A GYM MEMBERHP AGAIN! And I plan on ACTUALLY using it this time very very regularily.

I think I might try to get D to join up with me, and one of my friends who lives near by, the gym she went to went out of business so she's looking to join up somewhere else now.  So I may have a constant gym buddy for the evenings.

The heat is crazy here right now. Yesterday it was about 40 degrees Celcius with the humidex. It makes wearing work appropirate wear quite difficult when you have to wear sleeves and you can't wear shorts. Any thing with length is almost killer.

So onto the usual...I'm hovering around the 134 mark. Today, I will be sipping a Booster Juice as the heat makes it so hard to actually eat. I had a (as in 1) strawberry this morning but my stomach wasn't feeling so well. I've already had a litre of water and it's just after 9. Yesterday I actually drank over 4L. I'm going to aim for that or more again today.

So I'm still waiting to hear from the NAC for an interview. I'm not sure if I will hear from them because since they are a Government funded centre in the heart of the captial they are very strongly bilingual. Bilingualism is the bane of this city. Ultimately it makes it near impossible for anyone to find a job other than clerical in this city. I'm thinking I will have to settle for something once again not in my field. I doubt at this point I will ever be able to get my foot in the door. Well at least I'll be getting out of retail and who knows, maybe I'll end liking whatever job I end up getting.

So the weekend was a blast. It was probably the most fun weekend I've had in quite a while. It was good to see all my friends again. J did an awesome job at the half marathon. She ran 21km in 2 hr 9 mins. She worked so hard to get to that. She doubled her distance in a year. Last year she ran the 10 km and this year the half, however, she vows she will never run the full marathon. We'll see though, she's always one to push barriers.

T has started training again for another fitness competition for October. Her boyfriend works for the US military and has been posted here for the last few years. He's reinstating for another deployment (luckily in the US) and wants T to go with him. She's hesitant because she's not sure if she's ready but she doesn't want to give him up. We all love him to death here. He's been the best thing for her ever since we've all met her. We haven't seen her happier and we would love her to go with him. I feel for her because everything she knows is here in Ontario, and if she leaves for the US she will be totally dependant on him. Now, she will probably be able to get a Visa easily and eventually be able to get a job. She's resourceful and determined so that's no problem at all. I just hope she doesn't regret what ever decision she ends up making. Either way all we can do is be there for her.

Anyways, off to start my day. Hope you are all having a wonderful week and the weather is as wonderful where you are as it is here.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

I just want say:

Harlow, if you're reading this, good luck tomorrow!!! I'll be cheering you on!
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.
Hello lovelies!

Interview is over and done with, but I have no idea how it really went. I can never tell with these things. So now all I can do is just sit back and wait. I called the Arts Centre abour the job I applied for there and I couldn't get in touch with anyone. Following up for jobs is sort of lost on me. All I can do is say, "Hey I'm following up for this job I applied to. I'm just wondering if you've started interviewing yet?" I feel like an idiot doing that. I'm not quite sure how that gets me "noticed" but it's supposedly what you're supposed to do. I'm starting to think that that job is just lost and I probably wont get an interview.

So today is going to be a super busy day. I am having everyone over for dinner tonigh. I'm hosting 10 people. I think this will be the biggest dinner party I've ever had before. So to prepare, I have a huge list of things to do:

go to costco to get:
soda (all for hosting etc...)

get chairs from parent's house so everyone has somewhere to sit at dinner time
clean the ENTIRE HOUSE
set up guest room and basement for people to sleep in
begin prep work for dinner
get dressed
welcome everyone and really begin cooking dinner

So, needless to say, I will be very busy and not stopping.

Yesterday I was really good. I only had a banana with some light peanut butter at about 4 (160) and then I had a veggie sub for dinner for a total of 600 calories. Other than those two things, I only had water. Today, I plan on having a similar day. My intake in the end may still be higher due to the wine that will be flowing tonight but nothing until everyone else eats today. I have some Vitamin Water 10 cal to give me some flavour throught the day but I don't need anything else. My period weight is slowly starting to come off so I'm just trying help it get there as easily as possible.

Anyways, it's 7:30 and I have a lot to do before I Costco opens I want to get there before it becomes an absolute zoo.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

So my period is a week early. Better early than late...but this totally puts the weight fluctuations in to perspective. This morning I was at 137 but after having to eat because of my painkillers, who knows where I am.

So I've picked my interview outfit. I decided to go very monochromatic. Black flared slacks, a grey loose t-shirt under a long boyfriend blazer. With dark purple pumps. I felt very librarian in a skirt with a blouse...but mind you depending on how I'm feeling in the morning, I could go with a grey skirt with a black blouse and the same pumps (this outfit depends also on how tired I am in the morning and if I want to shave my legs or not).

I'm really really nervous for the interview.

I just want to say hello to my new followers D and Jessica Doyle!! If you have blogs please post them in comments so I can start following you back! Please don't mind my constant ramblings about nothing!

Anyways I'm off to research the company and then read a bit before crashing tonight.
So, didn't really get a chance to try on stuff for my interview tomorrow. That will be tonight's task when I get home from work. Speaking of which, I'll be on my own most of the night as D is working until about 11 on the other side of town.

At work today, I will be packing and walking around most of the day, when I get home tonight I will be doing a small worki out to burn some extra calories before the end of the night. Last night at kickball, I pulled something in my groin. It made it quite difficult to run the bases. I think I should stretch before the games so I don't injure myself. I don't want to be the person on the team who is always injured...that wont be a fun reputation.

Today's plan. Soup and watermelon and lots and lots of water.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hello lovelies,

So two days until my interview. I'm nervous, not only because it will be my first interview in over 2 years, but I just have NO idea what to wear. I will deal with that delema tomorrow.

The scale is wobbling back and forth on me. Sunday I managed to get back down to my easy 134 and yesterday I forgot to weigh myself. I kind of over indulged yesterday at my parents and I started the first signs of my period last night so I wasn't too surprised at the 139 on the scale this morning. Yesterday, while I was doing laundry, my dad cooked up some home made burgers on the grill. I skipped most of the condiments but the buns were HUGE. As a side there was coleslaw from a deil (lots of sodium) and then I had TONS of fresh rhubarb compote (I put sugar in at the end just so it wasn't too sour). I got home and D had a Hot'n'Ready from Little Ceaser's. That threw me over the edge. I did spend the day yesterday helping my parents with yard work and folding so I think calorie wise I ended up ok, it was just the choices I made that were really poor.

Last night I FINALLY made the soup I've been talking about for the last week. Today, will be my day to test it out. I put in one celeriac root, 2 leeks, a head of cabbagae, a tin of diced tomatoes (to colour and flavour the broth), carrots, 2 bullion cubes for seasoning, chili powder and paprika for some spice. This soup will be my work meal for the next week along with lots and lots of veggies at other times.

I have kickball again tonight so I'll be running around and being active again for about an hour tonight. With D getting up so early these last couple of weeks I've been able to fit in little workouts in the morning since I can never get back to sleep. Why not if I have all this time. I've been so sore the last couple of days, it's been great! :) I didn't get a chance to do it this morning since I work early myself but tomorrow and thursday I will get back on it. I think I might even break out the kinect again for cardio.

The girls are coming up this weekend for the race. T is running the 10K on Saturday, so I'll be downtown all day then. That night I'll be making a wonderful runner/vegetarian-friendly feast for J who will be running the half on Sunday morning. I get paid this week and I will finally have some $$ to do something for myself!! D gets paid next week so I wont feel so bad for indulgin on a pair of shoes or a pretty dress :)

So, this summer I have to do so much around this house. I need to put up evestrouphing (sp???), put up a fence, build a small patio in the back, re-level my front lawn, put in a nice walk way, buy a lawn mower, start landscaping the front (it's quite boring atm). At least all of this is stuff we can do ourselves with some friends with a case of beer and a pizza (for them).

Anways, I have to finish getting ready for work as my ride will be here shortly.

I'll post tomorrow morning with possible ideas for Thursday's interview.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Hello lovelies!!

So I got an interview!! It's on Thursday morning for an Order Administrator job. I would be basically taking client orders for a division for a high tech company locally here. It's nothing glamourous, but it's not Costco and I will be working Monday-Friday again! Woo hoo!

So I woke up this morning a horrific 139.8 (I'm just going to take a slap in the face and go right to 140). D took me out last night for dinner on a patio at a wings place...I had thought that my good effort (minus the McDeath on Wednesday night) all week, my body wouldn't freak out. I'm assuming a lot of this is from the HUGE amounts of salt in the food. I had ordered 1lb of wings in mild hot sauce and out of the 9 I only ate 4. The other 5 are in the fridge for D later on tonight. I did have a couple bite of his Gar-Par fries (fries drizzled with a garlic parmesan sauce) but I didn't have an order. It's 6:45 am here and I'm about to do a workout from one of my apps on my ipod. I don't work until 10, so I plan on working out until I ache. I've already downed half a litre of water (drank 1L before bed last night and peed 2 throughout the night). 140 (a 6 lb spike) is unacceptable.

Today will be lots and lots and lots of water to flush out my system and an egg for protein this morning (boiled) and a salad in the afternoon. I took a Waterex this morning along with my Hydroxycut (only in times of great water retention) to try to regulate myself.

Now all I have to do is figure out what the hell I'm going to wear to my interview on Thursday. Slacks with a nice blouse or a skirt and jacket. Descisions descisions.

Oh OH! I'm going to be FINALLY getting a battery charger for my camera this week (yay D having a job again!) so I'll be able to take and post proper pictures again since D wont be around 24/7 anymore!!

Well off to sweat out some of this awfulness that is inside of me!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

good morning lovelies!!

how are you all today? So D is currently in Toronto for training and i'm at home by my lonesome. He'll be back home tonight, it's been  hard being away from him for so long. We haven't been  apart this long ever in our relationship.

So on Tuesday I was down to 134 but I've spiked back up to 136 (all my fault) I had McDonalds with some coworkers after work yesterday. Today is a liquids only day. I'm currently sipping on some G2 since I feel hungover from the trash last night. I woke up with all the symptoms like I had been drinking all night. It was gross. I plan on making a smoothie with strawberries and bananas and a bit of rice milk for lunch before I go to work this afternoon.

I got an interview at a high tech company for an order administrator. Basically I would be taking clients orders and such. I think it will be pretty cool. I'm super excited! D is all set and things are starting to fall back into place for me. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for the Artistic Coordinator position at the NAC. So we'll see what comes of it.

I can't wait for the long weekend. I'm going out on Saturday night with the girls and then I'm off Sunday and Monday. Then, I only work a 3 day week (Tuesday - Thursday) then I'm off Friday - Monday!! Maybe by the time these couple of weeks pass by I'll have a new job and a new start!

Today is just more of the same. I hope to get in a small workout in after I send out a couple of resumes and before I go to work. So I'm off to find more jobs!

Monday, May 16, 2011

135 this morning woo!

So D is off on his first day of work today :) So I'm playing the role of house wife today since it's my day off!

So far this morning I've washed all the dishes, tidied the living room and dining room and I'm currently working on the bedroom. I have my music blaring loudly while I wait for a repair man to eventually show up this morning to fix our fireplace. It won't turn on, and it hasn't since about March. We are just getting the problem fixed while it's still free so we don't have to pay later.

I'm dancing around the house while I clean to burn some calories. T is coming over today after lunch and we'll be walking around my area of town (if the weather holds up). I hope the repair man comes earlier rather than later so I can steal away to GNC while I wait for T so I can pick up some more diet pills. I ran out this morning so I need to get some more.

Today my food plan is as such:

1 cup canteloupe (cubed) - 53 cals
1 cup strawberries (halved) - 52 cals

Salad no dressing (not yet calculated but under 150 cals)

Celery - 20 cals

1 cup brown rice - 111 cals
1 cup steamed broccoli - 30 cals
4 oz of baked chicken - 144 cals

This should add up roughly to a total of 460 cals max.

My fruit this morning is sitting on the counter so I can just grab a piece as I walk by so I may not even eat all of it and continue it on for my snack later on this afternoon.

So I was browsing postings over the weekend and I came across my dream job!
It makes my degree NOT obsolete and goes under the field I want to do! Arts Administrations mixed with event planning/hosting. Basically it would be acting as a host for the musical performers that came to the theatre. I'm submitting my resume all 3 ways possible (e-mail, online and fax) to make sure they at least look at my resume and hopefully I at least get an interview :):)

Anyways, back to cleaning and job applying.

Saturday, May 14, 2011


D got the job!! He starts on Monday :)

We will soon be getting back to our regular scheduled programming :)

Today I'm making soup (Chicken broth with roasted veggies and the cabbage soup i was talking about in my last post) and then for dinner I'll be having some baked trout with salad and brown rice.

Monday, I will be looking very seriously for a gym membership. GoodLife (the main chain) might be a possibility again with just over $50/month. The next few months will have D using the car most of the time so I'll be investing in using the bus more and more. This also means that I'll probably have him drop me  off at the gym early in the morning and just stay there until I have to go to work. I will definitely lose what I need to lose by August :)

I will soon be getting my reward cheque from work. All you familiar with Costco probably know about the Executive reward cheque. I'm getting $87 back so that will be going towards one of the dresses. Oh btw, Harlow, I'm not sure if you saw in the last post (due to Blogger F'ing up) but all the pieces are from Marciano.

I am currently enjoying the house to myself and munching on the odd grape every now and then. I have had a litre of water so far and I plan on having 2 more before I go to bed.

Anyways, lovelies, I will keep you all posted on how we're doing and what gym program I end up going with. :)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

So D and I are now in limbo, waiting to find out if gets the jobs. Both his interviews were's just the waiting game.

I have to say I love it when my year turns over. I got paid out for roughly 15 hours of sick/leave time from last year. That's an extra $220 on this week's pay!!! Woo hoo! Now I just have to wait for my tax return to come in and then I'm set. My goal tomorrow is to pay off as much of my Visa as I possibly can! If everything starts going the way we want it, the lovely items 2 posts ago WILL be mine!! :) (BTW Harlow, those items are all from Marciano).

I've planned another girls' night for next weekend so I'll be getting my dance on again. I hope I can afford a gym membership soon because I'm starting to get really antsy at home. Tomorrow I will be doing groceries for the cabbage soup and I will make it on saturday morning. I hope it tastes good.

I played hookie yesterday from work and went downtown and enjoyed the sun. Every time I go back downtown it makes me want to sell my house and get a condo and move back. I miss it so much!!! I'm truly a city girl at heart.

Anyways, I should be working right now but I really don't feel like making calls right now and would rather goof off for the rest of the night...

Love you all!

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

So I've updated my goal boxes over on the sidebar.

I found my goal weights and measurements from this post on Wanting to Wear Anything by Lita.

The website she linked to has a lot of great resources and had "model measurements and weights" I know that the UGW of 112 will probably not be realistic for me, but I know I can lose the required inches to get to the goal measurements. I have 8.5 inches to lose all over. This will definitely take a lot of work and I will have to relaly get a plan set in stone.

D has his second interview today, so hopefully he has a job when he's done this morning. Once he starts working agian, he will not be around ALL THE TIME. This will allow me to start fasting again and doing diets without being questioned the whole time. I am trying to figure out a good kick off diet to really lose a couple of pounds. I'm thinking maybe the Sacred Heart diet (Cabbage soup) but ignoring the "as much as you want" portions...

I need to recalibrate my scale since I think it's being a little fussy. I stepped on this morning and it flased 133 and then spiked up to 137 and then settled down on 136. So hopefully a reset will put things back on track.

Anyways off to help hubby get ready for his interview! Wish us luck!!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

So I'm out shopping with my mom and sister and thankfully we're doing lunch at a little shop so I won't have to eat there. I can get a booster juice (290 cals max). I don't plan on eating anything today while I'm out.

I'm actually having a bit of a skinny day. I feel that I look decent today.

I wish I had a bit of extra $$ lying around so I could buy something if I see something I love. I'm too afraid to try anything on in fear of wanting it and not being able to afford it. Oh well.

Hopefully D will get the job he interviewed for on friday and I'll be able to treat myself a little.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

On top of the world!

D got an interview!!!!

We applied to a position with a grocery store that's opening up in the summer here in town 2 nights ago and today he got a call for an interview on Friday!! I couldn't believe it! He's going in for an Assistant Store Manager job! I'm super excited for him!!

This weekend I'm heading to a privately owned gym here in town. The chain here is just way too ridiculously expensive for me at the moment. They want 65$ after taxes a month for a year with a 60$ enrolment fee. Mind you, this gets me into any club across the country but I just can't afford it. The local gym is offering a year's membership for 400$ and since I used to be a member and I'm in their system I wouldn't have to pay enrolment. They also go pay as you go rather than 1 year contracts. This is much more appealing to me, but I will only have access to the one gym. Descisions, descisions...I could just wait it out to see if D gets the job and then I could possibly even get personal training or just go straight to the Greco program I mentioned in one of my last posts. *thinks hard*

Well, here's hoping and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him!!

I'm back hovering in my plateau again. Tomorrow it's coffee and veggies all day for me. No meat and no carbs. I have a bag of frozen mixed veggies and I plan on only eating that for the rest of the week to prepare for Saturday. It's my grandparent's anniversary and mother's day all rolled into one. So it will be a BIG family meal...

Well off to bed for me, I want to get in at least 8 hours tonight.
Hello lovelies!

So things are on the mend. D is now actively applying for jobs and so have I. My mom just sent me a posting for a job she found in the paper and it's entry level but I'd make at least 10K$ more than I am now and I would have my weekends back again. Wish me luck!

So I have a question. I'm taking multivitamins again, but I can't seem to absorb them. I keep peeing bright yellow (tmi I know), does anyone else have this issue?

Anyways my break is over so I gotta run! I'll post again later
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Descision Canada

Well, among the  recent events of the last 4 days, Canada will find out who will lead the country...again...for the seventh time in the last 4 years (well at least it feels like it).

I have voted and now all I can do is sit and wait to see what Canada decides. I honestly can say I'm nervous and petrified because everything has just gone to crap...unnecessary elections...I'm tired of them.

So I found my new favourite restaurant!! It's called freshii. It's located in T's appartment building and it's all fresh, clean whole foods. I had a rice bowl with brown rice, avacado, mushrooms, tomatoes, roasted red peppers, spinach and balsamic vinegar and it was ONLY 182 cals!!! I couldn't even finish it it was so filling!!!

Yoga was ok yesterday. T and I both couldn't last through the 90 min Bikram class. We never sit anything out but we came to the conclusion that it was the instructor. He speaks like an auctioneer and there is NOTHING relaxing about that. I wasn't able to focus on my postures and I could not centre myself at all. I was stressed the entire the time. I will definitely not take any classes he teacher ever again!

Well back to see what the fate of the country will be...

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Hello lovelies.

So I've started noticing a pattern. The day before my period, I have a significant drop in weight (ie. 2-3 lbs). Then the next day, I spike up an unreasonable amount (5-7 lbs). It's actually quite scary at what my body does during my least it's only a pattern and I slowly come back down to normal over the course of it.

I was unpacking some boxes the other night and I came across a printout of all the mantras and "tips and tricks" I had found around the internet. I had this copy at work with me so I could go back to it to give me that little extra confidence when I was really stressed or on the verge of eating something that could put me on the edge of a binge. I also found my crazy laxatives that did a number on me the first time I tried them. It was like a treasure chest of me from a year ago. I've now put the printout in my work bag so I can read it on my break. I've also started bringing my iPod with me so I can shut everyone out while I relax.

News on the job front: That guy I hadn't talked to in about a year? Well he messaged me back and he said he would talk to his connection for me and pass along my resume. He also said that he would keep his ear to the ground for me as well. So it went quite well. I'm relieved and not nervous. *Phew!*

This week has been pretty good. I cut back on all sweets this week and had salads ands sandwiches at lunch that were no more than 150 cals and then dinner I kept around 400 (a lot I know but hubby is cooking for me). I have been maxing out at around 900 every day this week at tops. I had a couple of 500 days but mostly closer to 900. Yesterday was the only day it went over. I went to videogames live with D last night and the stadium is right around the corner from where we used to live downtown and our favourite pizzeria. So we grabed one to go but I did keep it to one slice so I'm going  to guestimate that to be around 450, mind you I didn't have a big lunch and I had some baby carrots and dip in the car before the concert. I would say I topped at 1050 yesterday. The only bad part was that I ate the pizza slice at 11pm and then went to bed at midnight. So I didn't have enough time to both digest and burn the calories so it all went to fat.

Tomorrow I'm getting together with T and we're probably going to go to a yoga class and then walk around the market. I'm also on the road to another pair of jeans being too big. It's great but also not so great since I can't afford a new pair right now. That could changed if I can get somewhere with this possible job lead :)

Anyways, I'm off to relax and veg out for a little while and decompress from work today.

Monday, April 25, 2011

sorry lovelies.

there seems to be something wrong with the link. When i click on it in my e-mail it sends me directly there.

The ID# is 577

Vote for me!! (Well my bag)

Hello lovelies!!

I've entered a contest with Bergdorf Goodman called Fendi Frenzy. I have "designed" my own version of their Fendi 2bag. If all of you lovelies could go and vote for my bag (here) it will bring me closer to a chance at winning the competition.

What they do is that on Friday, they will take the 5 bags with the highest number of votes and Bergdorf Goodman will select a "design" to actually run as a limited edition and they will send the winner their bag as a prize. So basically I get a chance to win my very own bag!

I would really appreciate if you go vote for me and pass this along to your own readers if you don't mind.

Note: if you don't want e-mails from bergdorf goodman (such pretty things) make sure to uncheck the box in the voting window.

Thanks everyone!!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

oh and one more thing

i found a really awesome advertising company online while job hunting the othernight. They're called fuel industries. Now I checked my LinkedIn for the company and found that one of my connections knows someone at the company. Now I know I probably have an in to an interview but I haven't talked to my connection for almost a year. how do I initiate contact while asking for a favour from someone i haven't talked to in a long time?

any suggestions??

random thing and update

I got this from A's blog...and I'm bored;

strike out what you've done.

1. had sex
2. bought condoms
3. gotten pregnant
4. failed a class
5. kissed a boy
6. kissed a girl
7. used a little paper bag for lunch
8. had a job
9. slipped on ice
10. missed the school bus
11. left the house without my wallet/purse
12. bullied someone on the internet
13. sexted
14. had sex in public
15. played on a sports team
16. smoked weed
17. smoked cigarettes
18. smoked a cigar
19. drank alcohol
20. watched “The Breakfast Club”
21. been overweight
22 been underweight
23. had an eating disorder
24. been to a wedding
25. made fun of someone for being fat
26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight
27. watched tv for 5 hours straight
28. been late for work
29. been late for school
30. kissed someone in the rain
31. showered with someone else
32. failed my drivers test
33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes
34. been outside my home country
35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours
36. gotten my heart broken
37. had a credit card
38. been to a professional sports game
49. broken a bone
40. been unhappy about my weight
41. won a trophy
42. cut myself
43. had an STD
44. got engaged
45. been on a diet
46. tried out to be on a tv show
47. rode in a taxi
48. been to prom
49. played in a drinking game
50. stayed up for 24 hours or more
51. been to a concert
52. had a three-some
53. had a crush on someone of the same sex
54. been in a car accident
55. had braces
56. learned another language
57. killed an animal/bug
58. been at a yard sale
59. been to a japanese steakhouse
60. wore make up
61. talked to someone via webcam
62. lost my virginity before I was 16
63. had my wisdom teeth taken out
64. kissed someone a different race than myself
65. snuck out of the house
66. bought porn
67. had a virus on my computer
68. had oral sex
69. dyed my hair
70. gone skinny dipping
71. graduated from college
72. wore someone else’s clothes
73. voted in a presidential election   - Canadian Election
74. rode in an ambulance
75. rode in a helicopter
76. caught the stove on fire
77. got in a verbal fight
78. been on vacation
79. been on an airplane
80. been on a boat
81. had surgery.
82. kissed someone before I was 14.
83. beat a video game
84. found something valuable on the ground
85. made a survey
86. stalked someone on facebook/myspace
87. prank called someone
88. been to a library outside of school
89. spent over $100 shopping in one day
90. cut my hair and hated it
91. peed outside
92. went fishing
93. helped with charity
94. taken a pregnancy test.
95. been rejected by a crush
96. been suspended from school
97. broken a mirror
98. faked sick from school
99. owned a pet
100. been to six flags

Well lovelies, I'm back to my spring starting point of 135!! I guess the restriction is helping more than I thought it would!! Woo! I've got a bit of my confidence back and I'm prepared at what tomorrow is going to throw at me :)

So work today was absolutely INSANE!! I have to say I was glad that I wasn't on the Front End today. And boy were peope MOODY today. They get pissed that it's so busy but they know well enough that this is one of the busiest day sof the year...

Anyways, I thought I'd let you lovelies know about the great news. I'm trying to figure out a new plan for the next month. Oh! I'm going to be palying soccer baseball this summer. It's once a week for an hour so there is one bit of activity a week that I'll be doing no matter what!

I'm back ladies!!!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Good morning ladies!!

So slowly but surely I'm getting my eating back on track. I counted my cals for tuesday (without modifying anything) to see where I was sitting at a day's intake. It wasn't great (almost 2000). So I've pulled out my LoseIt app once again and counting everything that's going into me. I have managed to cut it down to 1000. I'm slowly getting there. I've tossed out all junk, minus an angel food cake my mom brought over the other night for dessert (120cals/slice) since my period is coming up soon and I will need something to curb my cravings.

Yesterday I had 3 strawberries (15), 6 baby carrots (21), 4 graham crackers (120) and then for dinner baked chicken (142) with some quinoa with veggies (96), then my day's snacks: 1 serving of angel food cake (120), 2 macaroons (160) and 3 reese peanut butter cups (232). One of my co-workers brought in a smorgasborg (sp??) of cookies and candy for the department...when you're stuck behind a counter dealing with really annoying angry people on a busy day and you're prone to stress eating...yup that's me. Mind you I didn't do so bad, I had a tiny bit of restraint. If I hadn't had the macaroons and peanut butter cups I would have been almost 400 cals lower for my day putting me at 516 cals rather than 903 cals. I have even gotten D on this diet revamp with me...I'm refusing to buy him pop firstly because it's an expense we can do without, secondly he's been drinking 4-5 cans a day because he's at home and he can, and secondly I WONT DRINK ANY IF IT'S NOT THERE!!! I bought more peppermint tea so I can drink something else than water.

I've been sick for the past 3 days. Wednesday I woke up early to do a 30 min workout to get back into a habit but as soon as I started moving my body revolted and shut down on me...let's just say I spent some decent time in the bathroom before work that morning. I went home sick Wednesday night to try to sleep it off so I could go in yesteday. You see, since today (Good Friday) is a Statutory Holiday (at least in Ottawa/Ontario) I have to work my scheduled shifts before and after the holiday to get paid for today other wise I need a doctor's note. I was not a pretty sight yesterday when my cold/virus/what ever it was peaked. Not only was I sick as a dog yesterday, but they had me in the lobby of the store at a table (all doors wide open) in 5 degree Celcius weather selling credit cards. I changed it up by helping the counter but that led to the candy eating.

Anyways, today I get to spend at home getting better while cleaning like a mad-woman. Tomorrow, I have to show my house to my grandparents and aunt and uncle who are coming up for Easter. I hope to get a workout in today as well as eating minimal. Today, I can get away eating only veggies since Catholics can't eat meat on Good Friday (even though I'm not religious I really like having this to fall back on as an excuse). Food-wise, I plan on eating a max of 600 cals and burning at least 250.

I'm off for now to enjoy my tea and get my day started.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Well RaeLynn, you seem to have impeccable timing. lol. I logged on to post and I got your comment :)

Ok, so I firstly want to apologize about being so M.I.A lately. It's been really hard to do decent posts with D around all the time. I never seem to have alone time anymore. He's been getting more and more conscious about my weight "obsession" as he calls it ( is an obsession).

Also, my confidence is absolutely shot. I couldn't understand where it came from but I know when it started. It was soon after I was sitting steady at 135. At that point I felt a huge sense of accomplishment that I was managing to stay at one weight rather than moving up and down the same 3lbs. Then, money got tight...D and I have been less "intimate" than normal. The warmer weather is starting to come in so the clothing is getting clingier and lighter. It's just been a huge hodgepodge of little things that have been making me feel more and more like shit. To top it all off, my diet (as in what I'm consuming not planned diet) is absolute shit. I'm eating WAY too many carbs and sweets and not enough veggies. The binge monster is back again late at night. If I manage to eat well at lunch and at work I will throw it all away at night. If I work late I usually eat horribly in the morning.

I don't know why I'm sabotaging myself. I know this is all completely my fault. I have just become extremely apathetic. I don't have the drive to do much of anything anymore. I have all the tools to keep a workout going: P90X videos, Kinect, workouts apps on my iPod, yoga classes (granted they're downtown and parking is a bitch so that makes it a little harder right now) but I just don't do ANYTHING. I come home from work and plop my ass down on the couch or chair and lump and eat.

So all in all, I have just not felt in any way adequate to be a part of this wonderful community. I just didn't want to disappoint you all. I feel like I've let everyone down, especially myself.

So, as of this morning I weighed in at 137.4.

Yesterday I had eggs for breakfast and snacked most of the day. I then went to my grandparents and had roast pork (disgusting), potatoes, salad and for dessert chocolate marble cake (290 for a 1 inch piece). This morning, I had a piece of the cake that got sent home with me by my grandmother (she wouldn't accept no for an answer) and then cleaned the bedroom and bathroom like a mad woman. I reorganized the closet and dresser so I probably burned off 100 cals of that cake. I spent the rest of the morning drinking water and watching stuff on the computer. Not bad right? Well then D went out and got wings and sauced fries. So I ate...I probably cleared over 1000 on that one. I took a short walk to the mailbox (yay all of 5 mins) and then preceded to spend the rest of the day on the couch. Quelle surprise.... The wings WERE consumed at 2 and I haven't had anything since (it's now 11pm) other than water. So maybe I wont be too disgusted with myself since I've probably flushed out most of the sodium out of my system so I wont be retaining water over night.

Tomorrow is back to work but I only have a 4 day week :) I work Tues, Wed, Thurs, off Fri. Then I work Saturday. That will be killer of days. I'm closing the counter with probably the most incompetent people that night. I am probably the only one that is reliable enough to get everything done. So much so I'm working until 7:30pm...I'm usually out of there before 6 (close) so it will be an extremely long day. You see, Costco closes Good Friday and Easter Sunday so Saturday is absolutely ape shit. Every one goes crazy that Costco is closed 2 days in a week. So everyone, their mom AND their dog will be there...angry that it's busy and blame it on us...ultimately coming and chewing my department's asses off since we're "member service"...oh least I'll be running around a lot.

I attempted a fast last week, but I got sabotaged when a coworker bought me a hot dog when she saw I hadn't eaten anything all day...So that was a bust.

The hydroxycut is not doing as well as it did the last time I used it. I'm finding I'm having to take 4 at a time now to feel any effects whatsoever. Oh well. MLM, GNC doesn't sell Oxyelite pro anymore and doesn't sell it either. I'm still searching other places that might sell it. Hopefully I can find it. Does anyone have any other suggestions for diet pills or supplements?

Anyways, I think I've bored you all enough with my blubbering. I promise I'll be a better blogger and I will try to be around more. I've still been reading everyone's blogs but on my phone so I haven't been able to comment. I WILL post again soon.

And on a positive note some thinspo for all of you from my favourite time waster site.