Friday, August 8, 2014

Hello Lovelies,

So I'm counting down the days until this job is done. I agree Miranda and Kitty, good riddance lol.

So to add to my frustration from yesterday, I called my parents for advice on what action I should take on a situation that came up later yesterday. I won't get into details but, yes it involved redundancies that looked bad. ANYWAYS. I was talking with my parents and all of a sudden I just broke down. The stress just got to be too much and that I'm not letting go. And with all the anxiety of finding a job before the end of the month it pushed me over the edge. I ended up crying on the phone for 30 mins with them. It felt good to get it out, but I just have this looming sense of doom over me now. It's really becoming real. It's not something that's a while off, I have 3 weeks left. That's extremely tangible. I can't hide from it. I can't pretend everything's alright. I have to start getting my stuff together as much as I just want to crawl in a hole and forget about life.

This day can't end soon enough. I just need to go home and cuddle on the couch with D and the cat.


Only 2 hours left until I can call it a day.

So I just removed my work e-mail off my phone. I think that's one way to let go. Now work can't follow me home if I don't want it to :) Next step: stop answering text messages right away (unless I'm at work).

So, so far today I've eaten a couple carrots, pieces of celery, 2 cauliflower florets and 2 cherry tomatoes with a bit of ranch dip for about 80 cals along with a chicken and dried mango Protini (packaged sliced chicken with some dried mango) for 90 cals. I'm currently having a cup of greek yogurt for 100 cals. The test for the rest of day will be dinner and late night. My downfall lately is that when 9pm comes around I'm so hungry I just eat everything within reach. Not good. So I'm currently at 270 plus a coffee with some cream for a total of lets say 300 cals to keep it even. We'll see what happens when I get home...

Well I think I'm just going to ramble if I keep on writing, so I'll just end it off here.

I hope you all have a great weekend!!

Thursday, August 7, 2014

OK so I KINDA fell off the wagon...

Hello Lovelies,

I know, I know. I haven't posted in almost 2 weeks.


My week got pretty hectic after I stopped writing and I was heading into vacation. So I figured I would disconnect from the computer and get out of my own head for a bit. I needed a bit of R&R.

So let do some catch up. I'll get the nasty stuff over first.

I'm massive. There's no doubt about that. I'm sitting at 146 steadily without any loss. Now, Aunt Flo is coming this weekend so I'm expecting that spike on the scale that normally comes at this time. But I need to get my ass in gear. And the first thing is to get my diet in check. I'm not even going to write what I've been eating but all my decisions have come out of laziness and it's as simple as that. It's just my own damned fault.

My contract at work is quickly coming to an end so the job hunt is more feverish than it has ever been. I do have my first interview next week though. It's for a government program that sends student groups on exchanges within Canada to learn about Canadian culture and heritage. I'd be doing PR, new media, event planning and other various marketing and communications work. It's kind of my dream job. It might not be in the industry that I'd prefer but the job itself is what I've been looking for!

As much as I hope to find a new job, I'll just be happy when I'm done with this job. I'm tired of only getting half of the information I need to do my job and then people get annoyed when I ask for the rest of the information. For example: I'm supposed to send out an acceptance letter, invoice and registration links for a new student. However, I have really only heard of this person in the last couple of days, I don't have any information and the family hasn't filled out any of the application forms needed. They are not in the database, and therefore, I can't send out the registration links because I have no information to send! But when I ask for them to contact the family, I'm told to drop them a line. I ask for contact information and I get a street address... Ummmm... HOW  am I supposed to contact them? And on top of that I have had no part in this process so it would be better for the parties involved to do so. I don't mind sending out the information but they need to disclose the information I need to do this job properly. These are the roadblocks I encounter EVERY SINGLE DAY here. UGH!

Anyways, 3 weeks left of this place and I'm done for ever. I debating removing my work e-mail off my phone so I don't get bothered with it. I'm also thinking of blocking my bosses numbers so that once I leave they can't contact me. And if they need me to do something for them, I'm also considering charging them if I haven't found a new job in the meantime. I don't owe them anything. No  charity from me.

Anyways, my day is almost done so I'm going to pack up and get ready for D to pick me up.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

missed a day! oops!

Hello lovelies!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I got caught up in job applications yesterday and had a big development and then just veged last night.

I got an e-mail yesterday for a not for profit organization that I applied to back in December. They had put their hiring on hold because of some Executive staff changes and were now looking at filling the job again. The e-mail was not an offer of employment but just to see if I was still interested and available to be considered for the position.

Obviously I said yes.

So yesterday afternoon was spent composing a response to that e-mail.

So far today I have:

1. applied to another job
2. tried to cancel my cable and ended up getting a massively huge discount from their retention program that made the total bill less than if I had canceled!!
3. played some solitaire
4. did some sun salutations to relieve some tension in my back
5. drank a lot of water and coffee lol

eating wise things are ok. I'm fluctuating a lot between 143 and 148 (3-4 lbs over night)

I'm only eating maybe about 100-150 cals while at work and then eating dinner at home. I need to up my water intake. I am only managing 1.5 L each day. I have to get back up closer to 3 again I'm just retaining too much.

I'm going to try to get to the gym tonight and see if that helps my back in any way.

Wish me luck on the job opportunity. I'm not quite sure when I will be hearing back from them!! :o

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Justin Timberlake Concert!!!!

Hello lovelies!!

Tonight's the night! I have been waiting so long for this concert. I left work early today and met up with my sister for dinner. We went to a cute little chain restaurant and split some apps. 

Our seats are on the floor and the view is awesome so far. There is going to be a full "laser" (air quotes like Dr. Evil) show as well. All photos I took tonight are posted at the bottom of the post. 

I ended up not calling that agency today. It got too busy. So I will try again for tomorrow. 

Enjoy the photos!!

Our seats
My sister and I

The stage went over our heads

He was this close!!

And just as good looking in person!! So close!!

Seriously close!

Lots of lasers!!

Tomorrow I'll post some videos for you all. I may have swooned a few times and I don't have a voice anymore lol!

Monday, July 21, 2014

Day 1

Hello lovelies. 

Today was a pretty boring day at work. I looked up some businesses in Toronto today to see if they were hiring. Some were but nothing I was qualified for. I did find a recruitment company that has a few interesting jobs. I am going to try to call them tomorrow if I have time. 

Tomorrow I'm going to see justin Timberlake with my sister. I'm pretty excited. I have been waiting for this concert since my birthday in November!

Well that's all for today

I'll update you all on my call tomorrow

Sunday, July 20, 2014


Hi lovelies

I was reading over old posts and old comments from all of you. I had forgotten about all of the wonderful people that used to be part of this community. I really miss it.

I also noticed the tone of my writing has changed. I used to have a brighter outlook on things. Now I only seem to post to vent. I want to apologize for subjecting you all to my negativity.


I TK pledge that I will post every day even if it is something small. Or just something funny I saw. I need to inject this positivity back into my life. This blog is therapeutic for me but I need to make this a happy place again.

I hope you all have had a good weekend :)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Update on my life & 300th Post

Hello Lovelies,

So I didn't wait as long to update you all on how things are going....but it's still too long between posts.

So it's official. They are not renewing my contract at the end of the summer. At least it's better than being bumped down to part time. I get to keep my salary until August 29. I still haven't found a new job and I'm starting to expand my search into Toronto. Jobs are scarce where I live if you're not fluently bilingual. Government it can really be English and any other language, but it's French and English that everyone else is looking for. They will give a job to a bilingual person that is not fully qualified over a completely qualified person who only speaks English. Welcome to living in a city where the majority of the jobs are in Public Service. Yay. I really don't want to have to move, and sell my house. I don't want to be far from my family, but I need to find a job. I've also started looking at what I need to do to collect unemployment if I can't find something in the next 6 weeks. I haven't had a single interview. So things are not looking good.

To start preparing, D and I have decided to cut our cable this weekend. We have found out how to get Hulu Plus here in Canada, and the total cost for the year is 1/4 of the cost of our cable. It's insane how much TV costs.

I've gained consistently since my last post. Not much but it's creeping up ever so slowly. I'm now at 146. I'm almost at the point where I was when I started this blog.

My life is generally much of the same as you all know. So there's not much else to update you on. My social life has dwindled down to almost nothing. I spend a lot of time at home doing a lot of nothing. I'm getting cabin fever but there is really nothing to do at all around here that doesn't cost money.

I wish I could get my resume into someone's hand and get an interview. I'm not sure what's wrong with my resume that doesn't get me past prescreening. Opportunities are so far and few in between. Job postings are generally for senior positions that I'm in no way qualified for and then they fill the lower positions internally.

Well that's about everything here on my end. I'm still reading everyone's posts, just not commenting.

Back to the hunt...