Thursday, March 31, 2011

Hello lovelies :)

So new day new morning and day is off to a decent start. I have a 500 cal day set up ahead of me.

Today my intake will be:

Breakfast (60)
1 slice Hollywood bread (40)
1/2 tbsp Double Fruit low sugar raspberry jam (20)

Lunch (210)

2 slices of Hollywood Bread (80)
1 1/2 tbsp egg Salad - home made (100)
Sliced beets (30)

Dinner (200)
My grandmother's goulash
Home made saurkraut and tomato sauce very lowfat I'm not sure the actual count but I'm going big on it so I don't eat too much. I'm going have a 1 cup serving.

Snacks and others (30)
This will be between some baby carrots and coffee

So my day is planned out. No straying and nothing else to pull me away from my plan.

I've spent my moring so far watching the Food Network. My favourite food porn is coming on next. It's called Chuck's Day Off. He has a restaurant on the Old Port in Montreal and he cooks the absolute comfort food.

Anways I'm going to do some crunches while I watch TV.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Hello lovelies.

So as I thought the spike I had on the weekend was water weight. :) I'm back down to 136 (still not acceptable but better).

I had a comment from A the other day on my last post. Her question was a wake up call. I lost track of my goals, and I'm not putting in the effort to work out like I should be (meaning I'm doing nothing). I am back on the monitoring my intake again and I have to have D stop making butter laden sauces. Last night he made chicken with a mushroom cream sauce. Who knows how many cals were in that sauce. My days are successful but my nights are awful.

It's hard to admit but I am failing not for external reasons but of my own fault and apathy. I just am finding hard to care these days about much.

D mentioned to me this weekend that I have an unhealthy obsession about my weight. I had to brush it off really quickly and change the subject so I need to tread carefully.

Anyways break is over I'll try to post again tonight.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

I guess my this post should be a response post!

Wow! I think this is the most comments I've ever received on any post ever! Thank you all for your comments.

Firstly, I just want to appologize with my inconsistancy in blogging. I've just been in a bad funk. My weight is wobbling again (only 1lb but it's still getting at me) and with the onset of my period yesterday I just spiked another 2lbs. So I'm sitting up at 138 and, once again, because of my pain meds I have to eat so I don't get sick. Let's just say I'm not at 100%.

On to the responses!

FedUp: I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who feels like that!! It was under wraps for a while but since D lost his job I find myself having those feelings again when people start talking about all the stuff they do and buy.

Harlow B: I've actually been dabbling with the idea of taking another certification course. Possibly in Event Planning and get a Professional Public Relations Certification as well. It would probably take me a total of  12-15 months depending on work etc. But I think it might help me out.

RaeLynn: I guess I have my parents and school to thank for my tastes in music. My dad raised me on classic rock (mostly eagles and Fleetwood Mac) and Uni broadened my knowledge of classical music and meeting new people introduced me to new genres as well.

Emry: Thanks! It was hard to think these all up, but I had so much fun doing it!

Moonlight Misstress: I'm a big follower of the Marvel Universe (I'm especially loving the show Super Hero Squad). I'm currently reading the Walking Dead and Fables (graphic novels). I've watched a bit of Inuyasha but have never been able to get into it. I'm not a huge battle manga fan (all genres really). I'm cornier than that lol I love the Shounen and High School Romance ones. The manga I'm currently following is Skip Beat! and the anime I'm watching is Kimi no Todoke. AND on the video game front I'm currently replaying Fable III and going all completionist trying to get all the acheivements I'm also replaying all the Space Quest and Kings Quest games on the PC (yay text based adventures!).

To all: Yes I just exposed my true nerdiness. Deal with it! :p

Anyways, I don't have too much else to say but I will post again tomorrow :)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hello lovelies.

I have just been awarded my very first award ever! This is from the lovely RaeLynn!! Thank you sooooooooo much!!!

The Rules:

1. Thank the person who loved you enough to bestow this gift
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Bestow this honour onto 10 newly discovered or followed bloggers– in no particular order– who are fantastic in some way.
4. Drop by and let your ten new friends know you admire them
7 Things about Moi:
1) I dream a lot. I don't mean the odd day dream...I mean I get lost in my thoughts where I almost have my own world where I escape to. I dream of things and scenarios of my life if my job was better, I had more money, how I would go back and do things differently if I could. D says I get lost in my thoughts too often and that's where I go. It's always good there.
2) I am a HUGE nerd/geek or whatever you want to call it. I play video games, I read comic books and my EXTREMELY guilty pleasure I read manga and follow anime series religiously. People are surprised when they find out how much of a nerd I am.
3) My emotions are very visibly worn on my sleve. It's been like this my entire life. People know when I'm happy or if something's bothering me or if I'm upset etc. I've never been able to really hide it. I've sometimes successfully brushed things off but people always know.
4) I regret my University degree. Music seemed really fun and thrilling in high school but now I know I have nothing from my education to bring to the working world. I'm not some virtuoso, and I don't want to be a teacher. So my degree is crap, I wish I had taken something different and practical. I think things would be different (see back to #1).
5) I get jealous easily of people who are more successful than I am. I don't hold it against them but I try to use the jealousy as motivation.
6) My dream job would be to work PR for a major magazine or for a fashion house. During my PR + communications certificate I would check the LVMH website for internships and job postings. The biggest thing in my way was that I wasn't an American citizen and no previous experience. I still check back there from time to time to see if I get lucky.
7) I have a crazy ecclectic taste in music. If you check my iTunes library, you will see at least one song from almost every single genre/class of music. I have bubblegum pop from the 80s and 90s, hair metal, hard rock, nu metal, R&B, hip hop, rap, euro pop, classical (medieval, renaissance, romantic, early 20th century), choral, opera, indie, ska...and the list keeps going...
Ok this will be a hard one. 10 lovely bloggers that deserve this award (in no particular order):
Moonlight misstress - ...A Better Part Of Me
Empty Shell - Blacklisted (previously of Daring Destruction)
Kandie - Esoteric Thin
Eileenstein - Jeans vs. Genes
K - skinny
Thin_Envy - Thin, Love & Other Sacrifices
Miss Muffet - things you will not see
Kat not Jas - Skinny Love

These last 2 have been nominated already but they still deserve mention time and time again:

FedUp - Numbers Game
Harlow B - Staying Thin ~ Thinking Out Loud

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

If this isn't enough reason to keep going...the comments say it all seems to be the things guys like too...

male targeted sites are great for thinspo:

things are ok with me. trying to get into a real routine with working out on my own sans gym. I'm sitting nicely at 136. I'm coming up to my period soon so I think this extra lb is a bit of water weight. I haven't fluctuated since my 2lb spike last week.

food is back on track. lots of veggies...but i need to buy more. I'm starting to run out. I'm still running a little high but I'm coming back to where I should be.

anyways I'm sleepy and i don't really have much to talk about. i seem to be in a life slump. Just boredom. maybe i'll update more tomorrow.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

This is exactly how I feel. New favourite picture.


So yesterday started off well. I perfectly had 450cals planned out and catered to my carb craving I was having. In hindsight...BAD IDEA.

I got home and had my quesedilla (planned and homemade) then all hell broke loose. Ate some of D's nachos, trail mix, cheese...all in copious amounts.

Needless to say...I'm so bloated I've gained 2 lbs. Here's to hoping that tomorrow it will have all just been overload in my stomach....

today is fruit and liquids ONLY. Anyways, I'm off to work. It's my Friday :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

Hello my lovelies!!

So I am officially 100% at 135. I've weighed in the last 6 days at 135 in the mornings. I say that's some pretty good damned progress.

Things have been pretty mediocre for me this past week. Work still sucks, and money is still tight (I paid 250 in bills today and have less than 250 left for the next 2 weeks).

I'm having my grandparents over for dinner for the first time on Sunday. I have to buy the meat and veggies to serve, so I'll be seeing the rest of my pay cheque disappear by the end of the weekend. Joy.

Anyways, I'm managing to stay within my calorie counts (which is awesome) and I've discovered I really look forward to my 500 days because they are like treats. I get to splurge a little bit on those days and enjoy little treats here and there.

The weather is really starting to warm up so I'm going to start my walks more regularily. Perhaps, I will walk to the grocery store tomorrow after work.

Sorry for the short little post but things are pretty much uneventful and are staying at the status quo at the moment.

Anyways, time to get ready for work!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Wow! Welcome new followers. I woke up this morning with 45, and I come back on tonight at 48!! Where did you all come from! I am honoured!

So my gym membership is now gone. So I now have to figure out my own workouts...maybe with the warmer weather I'll be taking walks, maybe attempt to run. I'll figure something out.

So this weekend was a success. Saturday I had a 24oz Mango Hurricaine (350cals) and that was it. I then proceeded to drink copious amounts of alcohol and danced my ass off that I think I burned every calorie I could have possibly consumed that evening. Sunday, I went for breakfast and had 2 poached eggs and some fruit. Dinner I couldn't escape it but I had some boneless wings and a couple of onion rings. The hangover monster took over. I had to take a laxie on Sunday night because I was really backed up (sorry for the TMI). Yesterday was good I stayed within the 400 cals and was well "cleaned out".

Today was a pretty good day. At work I had 2 tbsp of rice (50cals) strawberries (don't count) and carrots (don't count). When I came home D made homemade speghetti sauce and I had about 300 cals worth. So I ended the day was 350. Not bad but I could have done better.

My dad is putting my resume into his work tomorrow for a job in another division for me. I'm hoping this pans out and I at least get an interview. I honestly don't want to get hired because I'm his daughter but that I'm qualified and right for the job. I will feel so awful if that's the reason I make it to the end (that's IF I get an interview). It's the reason I want to leave Costco.

Anyways, I watched the Roast of Donald Trump. Mike the Situation from The Jersey Shore was on it and man was he a flop. He almost got booed off stage at a Comedy Central Roast. It was bad. Even Ice-T (yes he was in the audience) did a face-palm. Just absolutely, 100% brutal. You can probably YouTube it later just to see how bad it was...WOW. I don't know who his agent is but how the hell did he get on a Roast as a ROASTER!?????

Well I'm off to keep chipping away at my resume. Tomorrow is another 400 day. More strawberries, carrots and maybe a banana at work and then something light for dinner.

Off to read more of you lovely blogs!

Saturday, March 12, 2011


Photo Deleted

My final decision...I went with one of T's dresses...yes I'm wearing one of her dresses! Yay for small victories!

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

So first day wasn't AS successful as I wanted to. I finished at about 500/400.

I had:

Carrots (doesn't count)
Hummus (80)
Get Moving Crackers (140)
Cheese (120)
Banana (doesn't count)
Chicken, rice (150)
Brussel sprouts (doesn't' count)
Butter (10)

It wasn't a bad day but I didn't get a chance to get to the gym. There was a big storm last night when I finished work and I didn't want to be out late and get caught in bad weather during the drive home. I did successfully manage to avoid all junk food. I was offered chocolate, candy and when D offered me some chips I declined. 39 days to go.

This morning I don't plan on eating anything until my first break at 2:30. I've taken my pills and I'm drinking water. I will be having at least another 4 green tea pills by the time my last break comes around (6:30). I think 300 cals or less in protein or carbs will be easily done today. :) I found a channel on TV that has yoga shows all morning. I'll be doing 2 shows (each 30 mins). Tea and water will be all I'm consuming today.

Thanks for your comments girls :). That pictures is actually from 3 years ago. I doubt I look like that now. I actually worked out regularly (as per the muscle tone in my legs) and went out dancing at least twice a week and mixed with being too poor to buy food on a regular basis.

I just want to sent a "shout out" to RaeLynn my newest follower. You are completely adorably sweet!! Thanks for the comments on almost all of my old posts!! I woke up this morning to 25 comments. It put a huge smile on my face!!

Well here I go with day 2/40! I'll soon be on perfect track.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Ok, here I go!

I have planned out exactly what I will be doing over Lent. I will be giving up first and foremost savoury snacks. This includes chips, pretzels, and pub grub when the hubby drags me out with his buddies. I will not have dessert at gatherings (this is where I usually eat the most of my sweets). I will keep carbs to a minimum and have at least one fasting day each week (liquid or water). These will probably be every Friday since I'm back on nights.

I'm going to fully go through the SGD diet with a couple of slight tweaks.

I am starting on Wednesday as tomorrow is Mardi Gras. I will indulge in the pancake dinner my family always has but only as a farewell to everything that I shouldn't be eating. Starting Wednesday, I will be consuming 400cals or less of anything other than veggies. I will move on through the schedule. I will be going to the gym before or after work 4 times a week for 2 hours.

This Saturday will be a liquid fasting day. I will be picking up a Booster juice on my last break (2:30) and will be only consuming water and my pills. I'm going out for a girls' night and I need to save my calories for the alcohol. I am very close to fitting back into my favourite dress (SO close!!!). This means I can't in any way have a pooch on Saturday night. I need to have a flat tummy that day if. Thursday night will be a lax night to empty me out and then very little on Friday and nothing on Saturday. I need to tighten up so I will be at the gym every day this week. (Photo will be deleted by midnight tomorrow)

So that's my plan. I know I start a new one every month, but this one I will stick to. There is no reason not to. This month is my month for change.

I am finalizing my resume, and I will be setting up appointments with head hunters/placement agencies for next Monday. I am getting super serious about this job hunt. I didn't want to use an agency at first because if you get a contract, they take a portion of your pay every week, but at this time I need the experience to get what I want and this is the only way I will get it. So a few contracts over a few years will get me the experience I need to get my dream job :)

Anyways, here I go again!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Writing at work...

So here I am on break at work. Dissatisfied, sick, and just plain angry.

I really need a new job. This is starting to be toxic for me. D went and visited with some old coworkers (friends) and they were saying that his warehouse is all up in a storm of rumors (no surprise there). What really got me was that the VP who was in charge of the investigation committee told his brother/roommate who then called his daughter to talk about it with her (one of our friends). It's absolutely disgusting. It's a private matter that doesn't involve them and it's very unprofessional. Especially since this VP is recently divorced for sleeping with an inferior from one of the american stores while on conference. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. I just want to do one shop at that store to make EVERYONE feel awkward and to tell his boss off. But I can't do that to D.

So I'm gaining again. I'm back up to 138 as of this morning. My eating has been awful. I need to pick back up on the SGD. I'm going to do it for the entire month of march and I will give up a few things under the guise of lent (march 9 and then for 40 days after). Its the perfect restriction guide. And every friday will be a liquid fast and veggies for dinner.

Reading all your blogs, I just want to say I am so proud of ALL of your successes. You are all fantastic women and such great inspirations. I hope to one day be the same for all of you. It's slow going, but I know one day I will get there.

Thanks Harlow and FedUp. Soon after I read your comments, D sat me down and brought up why he hasn't started looking. He was still in a bit of a depression, and wasn't feeling confident to move forward. He wanted to reassure me that I wasn't because he didn't want a new job, just he needed time. He was worried because I wasn't saying anything. So I'm a little more at ease, but still a little worried. We did discuss $$ and we figured we'll be fine for a couple more months.

Well, my break is over. It's time to swipe back in and get I'll update again soon.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.