Saturday, July 31, 2010

Long Weekend!! woo hoo!

So it is the Civic Long weekend here in Canada! Hope you're having a great one Shiloh!

So my weekend is going to be consisting of pushing off cramps and trying to eat as little as possible.

Today I am going to meet up with my mom to do some shopping. She needs to find shoes for her50  dress for the wedding, and I have a $50 credit at one of my favourite stores that expires today. My grandfather will be there too because he has to get a suit jacket altered.

So so far it's about 10 am and I have only had some water. I might see if I can scrounge up something light before I walk to the mall if not I'll just grab a Starbucks coffee or latte (skinny) and sip on that until I go back to my parent's place. My intake is going to be super low for the day because my mom is having D and I over for dinner for D's birthday. So I'm sure that the meal with be highly calorific and my mom is making an apple coffee cake for dessert (totally yummy but lots of butter in that cake!).

Tomorrow will be yoga class and walking around town with D since he has the day off. So plenty of activity tomorrow as well as doing laundry and folding it too (great thing about laundry is that the machine is on the top floor and we live in the basement apartment so that's 2 flights of stairs to carry laundry up and down!). Once my period is over I'll be taking another set of measurements just to make sure I didn't gain inches over the week.

I hate this feeling of being so bloated. Nothing fits right and I have to keep reminding myself it's just water weight and not fat. I know in a few days I will have deflated and things will be back on track. Just a bit of uncomfort and frustration for a few days.

My friends keep telling me I've lost a lot of weight recently but I don't see "a lot" I notice a bit but honestly, it's not that much of a difference from a few months ago. I still have massive hips and a belly. I think I might pick up this 4 day diet I saw on a website. It's pretty low cal but really easy to mask as a healthy diet too. Strict regimen but still not too bad! I'll try to find the link for it and I'll post the link in one of my next posts!

I'll probably update a bit later after I've found my spoils at the mall! But I have to go and get a shower and get ready I have to be there in an hour and still make the 20 minute walk there!!

TTYS lovelies!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Hello lovelies!

So i'm officially into full on cramps today :s Sitting here at work makes this impossible to bear! It feels like my lady bits are being pulled out through my belly button. I wish this day was closer to being over! I still have a conference call to do this afternoon and then a whole bunch of nothing.

So i've been nursing my cramps with a lot of dairy today. Milk (skim) yogurt (plain) and just had a little bit of ice cream. Dairy is the only thing that makes my cramps bearable for any period of time (however short it may be). All I know is that tonight I will be curling into a teeny tiny little ball and I will sleep the night away. Try to sleep these things off.

Anyways, sorry for the short post today, I'm finding it hard to really concentrate on anything. Stuipd work ethic....

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Hello ladies...

once again I am updating...3 in one day! woo hoo!

So I am on the brink of my period and in a little ball from my cramps. I cut my fast short by one evening. I had to take my meds so I wouldn't be sick. And unfortunately, if I don't eat, I will still puke it up. So I made myself some steamed green veggies.

Sorry to have left you Hope. Give me 3 days and I will be ready to start up again.

I did today

orange juice
chicken broth
soda water

Tomorrow I'm doing a yoga class in a park nearby where I live. This guy started this group on FB and does free classes in the park every Friday evening. Yoga is the best thing for me to lose weight. I noticed the most difference once I started taking yoga I had the best results ever! Hot yoga is really relaxing too! it's really really great!

how were everyone else's days?
Hello lovelies!

I have to say you are all darlings. Thanks for all of your support! I feel really blessed to have you out there.

I just want to give a welcome to Shiloh a fellow Canadian! w00t!

On the whole topic of cake I thought I would share some food porn with you all! You can find it here.

and some lovely wedding (obviously shopped in some photos) thinspo here.


F is for Fail

So yesterday was the day of Fail...

I woke up bright and early yesterday and made it to City Hall all prepared (forms pre-filled and everything) to apply for my marriage license. I'm just about to sign the last couple of papers and I knocked my coffee all over EVERYTHING! so I had to start the process from scratch! Thankfully the lady behind the counter was really nice about it.

So the day went really really well.


half a coffee (spilled the other half)
coffee (at the hair salon)
1/4 mango hurricane booster juice (100 cals)
more water

went to a restaurant with D and only had soda water (tummy was bugging me *wink*)

and then we came home and DA (D's Aunt) had made a new cake recipe for us (i secretly think she's trying to keep me fat??? but that's another post) and wanted us to try it right then and there when we walked in. I had no way to get out of it without seeming horribly rude (she is letting us live there rent free). So I had a piece of chocolate cake wtih fudge centre and lots and lots of icing...

needless to say i felt like puking all last night. But alas I can't mia for the life of me so i just sat there feeling the nastiness digest. I'm sorry Hope. Today is a new day though and I will at least make it to tomorrow morning with nothing solid passing these lips!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Liquid Fast: End of Day 1

So today was pretty only into D tonight.

I had today:

Broccoli soup (not cream based) (i'm going high with this one because I couldn't count and serve myself- 200 for a bowl)
8 oz orange juice (100 cals)
Millions of litres of water
and half a can of Campbell's Healthy Choice Tomato vegetable soup (100 cals)

2 pieces of tofu from the stir fry (1/2 inch cubes)

D came home and started making this wonderful veggie stirfy and I told him I was just having soup because I wasn't that hungry. He said ok and kept cooking. Once we sat down, he asked me to at least take a bite because he went out and bought all my fav ingredients. So I had 2 little pieces of tofu because he wouldn't stop bugging me.

I'm considering snooping in the cupboards for some peppermint tea or having half a pack of hotchocolate in water. but the tea should get rid of my sweet craving.

my plan tomorrow (i probably wont have time to blog as I will be getting ready for my photo shoot...but i do have my blackberry....hmmmmm)

1 venti Sumatra coffee from starbucks with skim milk
1 24 oz smoothie from booster juice (should last me from 12 -3 if i can finish it)
1 non fat latté
Some soup that's in the cupboard when we get home (at like 8 or whenever the shoot is done)

I think I might take some pictures of me once I'm all dolled up.

This is what I'm wearing tomorrow for the shoot

My skirt and my top

I'm pairing these with a pair of Betsy Johnson peek-toed, T-strap, cork pumps. SUPER cute!

Can't Think of a Title


So last night, Hope and I agreed to do a liquid fast together for the next 3 days.

My plan is to do:

Booster Juice (mainly tomorrow since I'll be out and about)
Broth based soups

D and I are on a SUPER strict budget for the next 6 weeks. We just booked our honeymoon to Paris last night and dropped $2600 on our flight! We are flying Air Transat in Club Class so we're going to get a bit more leg room and better treatment than if we flew economy. We had found a great sale with Air Canada with $299 each way ($598 round trip) so we though where can you get a better price right? Well...once we went to set up payment, the taxes and fees charge was $738 per person! which brough the price up to over what we would pay at Air Transat. So to save $50 and get bigger seats and more room and priority was SO worth it! lol

So since we have no money left (we have to focus on our house downpayment now) he has agreed to stop eating out and start buying groceries! yay! so i'll be having soups for dinner for the next 3 days.

I'm excited to start this and see where I can get by Friday!

Oh! So I FINALLY bought a tape measure last night! You know what that means. MEASUREMENTS!!!! and I finally saw results! F*** the scale the measurements don't lie!

So these were my measurements mid May:

Right Arm: 11.5
Left Arm: 11
Bust: 38
Ribs: didn't take a measuremnt at that time
Waist: 31
Hips: didnt' take measurement at that time
Butt: 41
Right Thigh: 24
Left Thigh: 24

As of Yesterday:

Right Arm: 10.5

Left Arm: 10.5
Bust: 38 (stayed same not too upset)
Ribs: 31.25
Waist: 29
Hips: 36.5
Butt: 39.25
Right Thigh: 22.75
Left Thigh: 22.85

So with the measurements I took back in May and comparing it to last night's measurements I have lost 7.65 inches in 2 months. It could be more, but I had a lot of trouble getting here. I do like the fact that my waist and butt went down almost 4 inches together. that was the best one out of it all! I'll be taking measurements again next week to help me maintain my size. I have to stay in this area until my wedding is over. If I lose an inch or 2 all over it wont be the end of the world but I can't lose that much in one area. Wish me luck!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Hello again ladies!!

I decided to post again because I'm between a rock and a hard place.

This maintenence thing is really kicking me in the balls...It is such a relief to not having to worry about the weight, but at the same time I worry because I have to make sure I don't gain as well as not lose. You see, even though I had my ups and downs getting here, losing was easy. Now I have to make sure I don't throw everything out the window by saying stuff like, "it doesn't really matter. I'm maintaining" I've gotten into problems like that before and that's how I put on the weight again. I'm just so scared that all of my work will be fornothing and I won't fit and I'll be a fat mess.

I was speaking with T about this and we figured keep my diet the same (maybe up the cals sightly) and do yoga twice a week. Hot classes will work as cardio and as strength. And I will also be working on my arms and back with some weights.

FedUp: let's work on getting to where we want to be together. It seems like we want the same things. Let's stick to our "meal plans" and let nothing throw us off!

Hope: WELCOME!!! I hope you enjoy my random ramlings and rants! I can't wait to read more of your blog!
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Great weekend - bad girl

As the title says I had one of the best weekends I had in a long time BUT I was not really good.

I spent the weekend at a cottage up in the mountains in the Eastern Townships of Quebec with my best girls. we had a blast and my stress just melted away. It was a much needed weekend.

But as you all know, I am a stress eater. So with the news that I couldn't lose more weight for my dress and the culmination of the intense stress I was feeling last week everything went to hell. I probably at over 2000 on Saturday. It wasn't the quality of the food that was bad it was just the quantity.

Friday night, I had some homemade, thin crust, veggie pizza (tomato sauce, tomatoes, bococcini, and basil). Saturday:

2 egg whites scrambled with onions and spinach
3 vegan muffins (really good made with coconut, lemon, oats and avocado)
1 piece of vegan raisin bread
1/4 cup granola
1/8 cup light vanilla Activia Yogurt

1 cup home made mac & cheese (probably the worst meal all weekend)

Teriyaki Stir Fry
red and yellow peppers
snow peas
oyster mushrooms
firm tofu

and throughout the day...I was munching on fruit, veggies, more muffins (they were bite sized) a small piece of fudge and I had a few glasses of white wine.

Sunday I had 2 crepes (thin ones)
one had
1 egg white
4 asparagus spears
1/4 cup grilled veggie mix
and a light sprinkling of cheese

the other
1/2 tbs peanut butter
1/2 a banana
1/2 tsp maple syrup

I didn't eat until I got home at 5 which was left over stir fry

So today I am liquid fasting. I have a organic smoothie waiting for me at lunch and I have taken my diet pill and my vitamins to get me through the morning along with my coffee.

It was a much needed weekend but I HAVE to get back down to business. I did realize one thing this weekend. Me and my bridesmaids T and J have matured ages over K and C. T and J got their frustrations out over my MOBzilla of a mom and things sort of settled out. They understand that it's not my fault and that they should push more to get more control over the shower and things that need to be done.

I have to say that I miss my girls horribly and I wish we were able to see each other more often. On that note, I will be seeing all of them again at my wedding shower/bachelorette in 3 weeks and then again at my wedding 3 weeks after that! It will be the most times since convocation that we've been all together. I'm super super happy :) yay!

I hope this week doesn't destroy my good, relaxed mood.

I have my engagement photo shoot this week on Wednesday so that's a day off to get my hair and makeup done and dress up! yay!

Anyways time for me to get to work!

I can't wait to catch up on your blogs!

Friday, July 23, 2010

So I'm on my way to my girls weekend. I am sitting beside a cooler full of candy and cookies.

Foodwise this will be interesting. I will update when I can. And I can't wait to spend my spare time reading your blogs!

I just hope they don't stuff me with food. Too many bad tempting foods I don't want to throw all my work out the window. I will indulge, however, in a piece of bagiette and some cheese
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Thursday, July 22, 2010


so i had my first fitting this evening. I got to the boutique and put on my dress and it felt looser (as it should have since i've lost a couple of inches in the last few weeks) but when she started pulling it to pin it...she way saying she had to take it down a WHOLE size!! not just in one place but ALL the way down!

woo hoo!! i have been doing something right!!

but now for the bad news...

i have to MAINTAIN for the next month and a half...that means i CANT lose! :(

I was doing so well and now I have to forcefully stop. well i'm just going to do this...i'm going to stop my intense workouts (stop my cardio mostly) and just work on my arms and back if i do work out. i'm still going to keep my intake really really low...but i'mnot going to worry TOO much if i go over my limit. I hope I can do this...because the alterations are REALLY expensive and I can't afford to have to take it in too much again. If they do I don't want to have it be any huge difference because the lady made me promise to no lose any more weight. :(

anyways good luck to all of you! i'm still going to update for you all but i unfortunately wont be having many size/weight updates.


welcome wickedlucid!!!

Holy Crap

I just want to scream right now.

I'm working with a partner client right now working on a booklet. It's the most frustrating thing in the world! Last week I found out we were working from 2 completely different time lines. I was sent one at the beginning of the project and then a few weeks later I ask for an updated one from them and it does not match at all to the one I was given. I send mine back to them asking that we work from the initial timeline. So progress a week (full of buyers and agencies dicking around and not getting lists and contracts to me in time so we're now behind 10 days) and I finally have everything I need to send to the client. I ask them for the updated timeline again and they send me the same F***ING one from before and then saying that we're behind because I was late with the list. Well if I was so late then get your AEs to get their A**es in gear and do things right the first time. I had already yelled the buying department here. GOD! These things can be so frustrating.

I really need this girls' weekend that's coming up tomorrow. I just need to get away and just relax and not have to be responsible for anything except dinner on Saturday night and myself. I am answering to no one this weekend.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! there we go...I think I'm a little better

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sorry for the short post on the ring last night. I was out with D and our friend SB so it would have been rude to have been blogging on my phone like that.

But I'm so happy the way the band turned out! So worth the 4 weeks I was without my ring. We were really surprised when we saw it because it was bigger than what e thought we would get. The diamonds are bigger the band is wider etc...and we looked at the insurance appraisal and it turns out it's worth almost 800$ more than we paid for it which is great when we go to get it insured. So together with my engagement ring and my band together, I have 1.07 carats. It sort of stunned me when I read out the details. I never thought I would have that much on me at one time.

So last night after we packed up for the night (it was 1 am) I sort of razzed on D. After we had dropped SB off at her appartment, Dave asked me why i was being so snotty. I told him I'm tired, I'm not sleeping and I just want to be in bed to get whatever sleep I can get. He asked me why I wasn't sleeping and I basically broke down and told him everything that's on my plate. I told him how work is so crazy that i can't stay on top of my own crap, the wedding is less than 8 weeks away and there's still a million things to do, I'm putting every penny I earn to the downpayment for our house so I'm basically living off my credit card and his paychecks, my bridesmaids are incompetent and are dropping the ball (they keep asking me stuff about my own shower which i don't have time to plan that's why they're doing it). I'm stretched so thin, answering to everyone else's schedule that I don't have a moment for myself. At the end of the day I'm too exhausted to go to the gym and work out. All I want to do is go home and get into bed. But I can't. Even on the weekends, I have some sort of responsibility or appointment or errand to run. D works weekends and is up at 6 and I'm up with him to drive him in for 8 (we only have 1 car) just so I can do the things I need to do in the day. I run around all day and then pick him up and then we go out and do something he wants to do.

He asked me why I didn't tell him about the way I was feeling at all. I told him he's been so upset with work and stressed and grumpy I didn't want to add to his stress at all. I didn't want to burden him with more stress and frustration. So, I just took in his stress on top of my stress. He appologized to me (not sure why really because he didn't really do anything directly) and since last night he's been really attentive and I think re realizes that I need help with what I'm doing.

It felt good to finally get it all off my chest and I was able to sleep a LITTLE better last night. this morning I've been nauseous so I didn't take my diet pills and I had a couple spoonfulls of plain oatmeal just to have something in my stomach to try to settle it. I don't think I'll have the urge or need to eat today. I have a legitimate stomach ache. Never thought I would be happy to have one of these :)

Talk to you later lovelies.


Welcome Kat! I love your fashion blog!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


My wedding band with my engagement ring!

More later
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Confrence Calls, Meetings and Boredom

So my day has been VERY busy yet VERY slow.

I've been going through spreadsheets, setting up templates, proofing projects and now I'm setting up for a conference call. Joy.

It may sound busy (I am) but there is a lot of down time between each task because I'm waiting for an e-mail or for a proof to come back to me etc...I've read a lot of new posts from the blogs I'm reading but there always seems to be this lull at about 11 am (my time) until about 2:30 or so. I guess with the time differences people are busy during those times.

I've done well today, just some veggies and half a sandwich (high day) and tomorrow it's back to restricting.

I'm nervous about my dress fitting on Thursday evening. I really hope it has to be taken in a lot since my initial fitting a few weeks ago. I want to see the hips and waist come in smaller. I've been getting a lot of comments from people recently that I've lost weight, i hope they're right and it shows at my fitting.

I just got complimented by my superiors of how prepared I was for my conference call today! :) I never get positive feedback like that! :):):) If you've read back in my blog, you've seen me gripe about work quite a bit. I always get ragged on about anything and everything i slip up on. so this was definitely a move in the right direction yay!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Monday Monday

Hello lovely Followers!

So it's another Monday. The beginning of the work week. I have to say, September cannot come fast enough! I can't wait for the vacation that my wedding will bring!

So I know I said I wouldn't use my scale anymore as reference of what i'm losing...but what can i say? I'm a glutton for punishment. This time, however, I stepped on this morning and I was down 2 lbs. I couldn't believe my eyes! So I got off, stepped on again and the EXACT same number popped up! So I tried again (I couldn't believe my eyes) and the same thing! I have overcome my plateau! I'm doing SOMETHING right! Now I just have to figure out what that is and stick to it!

The Weezer concert last night was AMAZING! I had so much fun! I danced so much and so hard that from the heat from the crowd I sweat so much I was soaked through. It was a great workout. My legs and butt are SUPER sore this morning from the jumping and dancing. I wish they had played longer though. an hour and a half was not long enough and they could have play many more songs.

I noticed today in the mirror that my collar bones are becoming more pronounced. I'm just waiting for my ribs and hips to start showing. When I lie down you can start to see my hip bones but there's still a lot covering it. Lets hope that my calculations for losing a pound every 2 days starts working out for me!

Anyways lunch is almost over so I have to get back to work. Sorry for the short post. I just wanted to update you lovelies!


This woman is my ultimate thinspo! Nerdy cute and 100% gorgeous.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

For the first time in 2 years my mom has complimented the way I look. Since I put on the weight she would comment on how my clothes weren't fitting, and that I had to workout and that I just don't look good, or I couldn't wear that because I'm too big blah blah blah....

My mom is so critical of the way I look and has always been the first to comment if I look good or bad...sometimes it's great but sometimes it's really hard. It's not that she says it, it's really the way she says it. It has been like this all my life and I just always try to get validation from her. Everyone can tell me one thing but the moment I hear the  opposite from her, I ignore everything else. I think that my mom is probably my biggest trigger. When she comments negatively on anything in my life (money, relationship, body etc..) I will binge. I don't know why I seek this validation, we have a pretty good relationship but my decisions are affected by her opinions. My wedding, for a small moment, was turning to be more of what she wanted than what we wanted. I just wanted to have her approve of what I was doing and since she is paying, I didn't want to do anything she didn't like. It has made this whole process so much harder, and ultimately sabotaging my efforts because i get frustrated and i eat and eat and eat.

anyways today is a no eating day. I'm definitely determined to make it today. I have turned down/ignored food so far and it's already noon. it will be later on today where it might get harder. I'm thinking of getting a booster Juice (240 cals/juice) for my walk (350 approx. burned) down to the festival. tonight I'm seeing Weezer. hopefully it's a good show and rivers isn't a D-bag.

i missed yoga this morning because i slept in. I haven't been sleeping well lately and i decided that today was the day to catch up. tomorrow I will be going back full swing into my workout regime. i have to go Monday and Tuesday because Wednesday and Thursday are for my linen and fitting appointments respectively. Friday is a day off because I'm going on a girls' weekend with my besties (J T K and C). Saturday is going to be great because my girls are all fitness conscious. I'll be doing calisthenics and such while some of the other girls go for a run. The eating thing is going to be challenging because...well it's eating. BUT J is a vegetarian and T is on a super crazy diet for her fitness competition. so the food that will be cooked will be SUPER healthy and vegetarian. Now I just have to make sure that no one notices the small portions. Needless to say I'm super excited since I haven't seen my besties all together for such a long time! There will be a lot of wedding talk as well :)

anyways I'll update later on or tomorrow morning (depends on how much battery my blackberry has left!).

Friday, July 16, 2010

welcome ananae!!

I have been so lethargic and lazy today. I haven't been sleeping and i've been dying with cravings all day. I had 4 slices of cucumber during "dinner time" and a little tiny gelato spoon of D's blackberry gelato. BUT i've been craving chips and cake and rice and pickles...yes pickles...i'm defnitely not pregnant but OMG these cravings are driving me mad!!

All I know is that I am training with my trainer (first time in over a month) tomorrow morning. we're going for a short run then doing a full body workout. and then i'm going to my parents to visit with them and then off to the festival. sunday is bikram yoga (a guaranteed 1000 cals burned ...totally serious look it up).

So I was reading Africanamia's blog and she had a "Ana Homework" post. for her "Math" assignment I figured that I need to burn 1000 cals a day on top of my 1478 BMR (while eating a max of 800 cals) and I will lose 1lb every 2 days.  i'm going to see what happens when i throw in a fast here and there with the workouts. I will workout EVERY day!

Friday...thank god..

So yesterday was pretty good.

D took me out for lunch and I had a garden salad with no dressing (I know I said I was fasting but I really had no choice) and then just water for the rest of the day. I was pretty proud of myself. For dinner I had half of an organic burger with some horseradish and a tomato (probably about 250).

Today is a WHOLE other story. No food whatsoever! I have no money to buy anything so it's just tea after my morning coffee. I have peppermint and my berry detox one. I am going to the gym after work today and my trainer is back up to snuff and is able to train me again!! She had injured her shoulder a few months ago and was ordered by the doctor and phisotherapist to not do any sort of activity. So I'm starting up with her again tomorrow.

I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and I saw something that made me a little happy. I notice a change in my body. My calves are smaller, my hips and waist are slighter my stomach doesn't have that sausage roll under my bellybutton (it's not flat but the roll was what bugged me the most since it was hard to hide). I know I still have a lot of work but this is the first time I have noticed a change in my shape in a long time. I know I'm doing something right. I just need to keep working at it.

I have to say I am starting to miss my engagement ring. I had to send it off to the jewelers so they could fit my wedding band to the ring. It's been a month since I had to take it off and now I just really really miss it. I really hope I can get it back for the photo shoot I have in 2 weeks. I don't want to have to wear a bauble instead.

I have come to the decision that I am going to schedule out my weeks to the minute from the time I wake up each day to the time I fall asleep. I need to get some sort of schedule down so I can fit in my workouts and plan any meals that I might eat and cook them and freeze them ahead of time

what do you girls think?

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hello lovely ladies!

So I get into work this morning and what do I come to in my cube? A blank screen. We are told to only log off of out stations instead of shutting down (something about updates) so there is always a box on the screen to log in. That wasn't there this morning. I decided that before I call the help desk, I should try rebooting my...bad idea. The next thing I see is "hard drive imminent failure".

So now I IS has my tower and I can't access half my files. This will be a long day. Thankfully I have email and my blackberry!

So last night, Santana was awesome! It was definitely and experience and a half! So happy I went. I only had a fresh smoothie last night and then tons and tons of water. Tonight is Matt Good. I'm not sure if you girls know him but you should check him out. He's a Canadian artist really talented. I'm not the biggest fan but I respect his work. D is the bigger fan.

Today I plan on fasting until the concert to make up for the sandwich I had yesterday. Then I will either have a smoothie or some fruit. Nothing else. Coffee, water and tea is the only allowance for today.

What do you girls think of laxies? I've done them a couple of times. I like doing it every now and again because I like the empty feeling. I don't want to become dependant but I like to flush myself out once a month
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

So I went to my structural walkthrough for my house today! :)

I have 2.5 months to go until it is all done and I can FINALLY move in! yay! I can't wait!

Tonight I'm going to see Santana. This is going to be an awesome experience! I'm in a super hyper mood and can't wait for this day to end. I should have taken the whole day off instead of coming in late to work after my walkthrough. It would have been nice to have a day off with D today rather than sit at my desk and go to a conference call today.

Today I have been better food wise. I had a sandwich on a cibatta (sp?) bun with mushrooms and peppers. I also had some watermelon. I'm not sure what the cals were for that but I think I over-ate and my stomach is really sore. The good thing is that I'm going to the gym right after work before the concert, and then I'm going to be dancing for at least 1.5 hours. I definitely wont be hungry so I'm planning on just filling up with water for the rest of the day. (I think it's a good plan).

My gym plans are all messed up because of this concert. I started up this bodylogix thing yesterday only to realize I wouldn't be able to follow the diet (at least a restricting version of it) OR the gym plan. Now the first week is a jump start so I have to follow it almost to a T. I have to scour the website later to see if I can restart the plan for Monday when I'll be able to really commit to the plan. Now this is a 9 week plan with customized diet and workout. I know I wont be at the 9 week point by the wedding but I have 6 weeks to go if I start on Monday so there will be some results.

Anyways lovely ladies, I know this post is relatively boring and I apologize. I just like to write down my thoughts as they come (partially the reason for my multiple/disjointed posts)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Blogging at work is fun!

Hello and welcome Kelly!

Thanks for commenting! Yes, if you read previous posts, I get mad at my scale a lot. It's a love hate abusive relationship. I step on it and it lies to me constantly, I vow to never step on it to save me from the lies, but yet I keep going back. Oh well what can I do. I think I'll move it out of my bathroom and tuck it in a cupboard somewhere.

For the screeching in, we're not sure what we're going to do with the Cod kissing part. Since we're doing the reception at a hall, I don't think I can bring a cod in and just think of howl ong it will take for 120 people to kiss it! I was thinking of tying little fish shaped tags on them and have the guests kiss the paper. Probably the easiest and the most hygenic! haha

So, so far today I have had only a salad made up of spinach, quinoa, beans and beets lol. It was a total of 2 cups all together and only 150 cals. This should get me through the rest of the day and then I'll be able to have some fruit later.

Right now Bluesfest (big summer music festival) is halfway through and I've seen some pretty awesome bands (Hole, Iron Maiden, Metric, Rush, Flaming Lips etc...) and tonight is more of the same. But it is raining SO hard I can hear it on the roof of my building! I don't know if I'm up for going to an outdoor concert in the rain and on a wet field. I think I might just stay in and stay dry and rest for the upcoming concerts (Santana, Matt Good, Mariana's Trench, Great Big Sea and Weezer). At least I'll get in my workout for today instead of rushing to the festival grounds!
So It's official. Scales suck.

I woke up this morning and I decided to try something out. I put on one of my tightest pair of jeans and they fit. Only a tiny bit of muffin top. So I have made myself a vow this morning. I am not gaging my progress based on my weight. This is going to be measurements and the way my clothes fit ONLY.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Giving up...

...on my scale.

I have decided that my horribly inaccurate scale is not a good point of reference that I'm getting anywhere. From tomorrow morning on, once a week I will take my measurements of every possible body part I can wrap a tape measure around.

This weekend was fabulous on my confidence. Saturday I spent the entire day doing laundry and cleaning (which was a workout in itself). I only ate 2 pieces of salmon sashimi and 2 pieces of tuna. I figured I hadn't had protein or any natural Omega-3s in a while and for dinner I shared a salad with D. I put on a really adorable dress and asked my friend S for her opinion on it (she's my ana-buddy). She said she loved it and it made me look really thin. So it was a bit of a confidence booster.

So yesterday, I did a Bikram hot yoga class (fantastic btw) with my friend T. When we were done, we showered and got changed and went for a walk. We walked around the city for over 4 hours and we went shopping as well. I found my outfit for my engagement photo shoot and I went down a size at the store. BOOM! Another confidence booster. As we were walking around, I was talking with T about how I  was happy that things were starting to look good on me again and she tolde me I was having a really good body day. I said to her, really? She responded by saying, "well not just a good body day but you're overall thinner." Can you believe it?? I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but T is my best friend and she is a total nutrition and gym buff and is currently training to compete in a figure competition. I am secretly incredibly jealous in awe of her body. Hearing that comment from her was the biggest pick me up I could have ever gotten. I always feel inferior to her and I hate standing besider in pictures. Because we're best friends, she wouldn't just say that to me on a whim to make me feel better and she never has. She wont say anything negative but she just wont comment, so to hear her comment like that meant I'm ACTUALLY getting somewhere.

After our day long excursion, we went back to her place and we wondered exactly how many calories we had burned from the yoga class and the walking. I didn't believe it when I saw but...drum roll please....

958 cals for 90 minutes of Bikram hot yoga
1143 cals for 4.5 hours of walking at a moderate pace (3 mph)

which is a total of...2,101 calories burned yesterday apart from my BMR (1486)

Yesterday was also a "high" day. (I zig zag my calories where my high days are on the weekends) I had 1000 calories. From exercise alone, I had a 1,101 cal deficiency but add my BMR and it becomes 1,587. So I lost almost half a pound from yesterday! but my scale showed that I it's official the scale goes out to the curb tomorrow morning with the rest of the trash.

Good riddance!

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Well that was really all it was for me.

I had the side garden salad they served and tried to avoid the dressing. I got off clean on the main meal of steak because the sauce was way too salty to enjoy. So I didn't eat my main and when the dessert came around I said I was too hot to eat something so sweet and just sipped on my ice water.

I did end up deciding on what the wedding favours will be!! D is from Newfoundland and we decided to bring in some of his heritage/side of the family into the wedding. We are going to get small jars of Partridgeberry jam shipped in from Newfoundland (it's a very popular preserve there and it can only be found at farmers' stands on the side of the road). The other thing we're doing is we're going to get little mini-bar bottle of Newfie Screech. Now I'm not sure if you have heard of Screech (not the Saved By The Bell character) but it's a liquor that is made from mixing 8 different dark Jamaican rums and re-distilling it to make it more potent. I've heard it's pretty awful.

Anyways, the reason why we're giving everyone a little bottle of Screech is because we're going to Screech the entire wedding in (guests and all!). Basically we will be making everyone at the reception honourary Newfoundlanders. I can't find a link to the real ceremony but here is a link to a shortened version I think this is going to be hilarious and a lot of fun! The difference to what we'll do is that when you have to repeat the line we're going to be doing the full poem. I had found it once but I can't seem to find it.

Anyways I thought it would original and cute and defnitely be memorable.

Well it's back to work for me and then off to the gym this evening. I think D and I are going to see a movie tonight. Not sure what though.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Heat Wave

Sorry for the crappy post/update last night.

D was with me and I only had minutes to blog for you ladies before he came back. He doesn't know about this blog so I didn't want him to get suspicious.

So this heat wave has been crazy. The good thing, makes me not want to eat! I weighed in today and it's official, my scale hates me. I weighed myself at the end of the day yesterday and i was 144 not bad for after having a bite to eat last night and retaining water. But this morning I stepped on again to see if it was lower and there it was staring me back in the face...+3 lbs....i'm a cow. It's funny. It's saying i haven't changed weight really over the last month, but stuff that wasn't fitting me a month ago is now fitting. What's the deal with that?? It's too confusing. I don't think I'm building muscle that quickly for it to make a difference.

I need help. I don't know anyone else this is happening to. I talk to my girlfriend T who is a fitness model (soon to be) and she just says my scale is F***ed. But I want to know how much I weigh...I don't like this not knowing the right number.

I guess I could use these wrong numbers as motivation and triggers, because every time I see them I just think of how much of a failure I am and that I will never accomplish anything.

However, people are starting to notice at work that I'm smaller. I've had a couple of comments over the last 2 weeks. I guess it's because I'm wearing some of my smaller clothes.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


So It's been one hell of a heat wave. We're on day 3 now and it's only going to START cooling down on Friday!

I  love the heat because I'm NEVER hungry! I didn't eat yesterday I didn't eat today (minus a bite of D's pita) and I probably wont eat tomorrow until my wedding tasting. I am going to try to make it seem like I'm eating but just push stuff around my plate.

Tomorrow is weigh in and I hope I see a smaller number!


Bluesfest baby. So I'm at ottawa's biggest outdoor festival of the summer. Its the opening night and so far I've seen (well more like listened to) Dream Theatre and I'm just watching the end of LIGHTS (an indie artist from Toronto) who does electro pop. Right after this it's Iron Maiden. Eclectic...I know.

The last 2 days have been so hot (over 40 degrees celcius with the humidex) that I think I've lost a bit. Ill weigh in tomorrow.

Ok off to the next concert
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Monday, July 5, 2010

So I'm at the gym right now sweating up a storm. (Can I just say that this blogging via e-mail is going to be addicting) and there is this girl here who is the embodiment of perfection. She was doing ab work on the mats and I could see every vertebrae from her neck all the way down until they disappeared beneath her gym wear. Her cheekbones super high and her collar bone was a thing of beauty. THAT'S what I want to achieve.

I am currently doung leg work as the weight area is taken up right now. I'm actually doing leg presses as I type weighted at 95 lbs. Will update later
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Great weekend

Hello my lovely ladies!

My weekend was pretty awesome! I found my wedding shoes and here they are as I promised when I potsted on the weekend!!

So there they are! They're ivory leather with swarofvsky crystals! I L-O-V-E them and they are UBER comfortable! yay

So I FINALLY got pictures of me in my dress...let me say it looks better than when I tried on the sample, but my arms look horrible. I still need to do a lot of work and I find I still look really wide. I NEED to drop at least 10 lbs before the 22nd.

I've started doing Hot Yoga (first class was yesterday) and hopefully that will help me shed the weight faster. I also bought an organic detox tea. It's called Yogi Berry Detox. It's not half bad but not my favourite. I hope this with my regular workouts and my fasts every second day will help me along.

Any tips?

Saturday, July 3, 2010

So I am in montreal, trying this e-mail blogging from my blackberry!

I came with my parents to look for shoes for my wedding. I found them! They are made out of ivory leather with swarovfsky crystals along the top of the shoe and on the back of the ankle. SO pretty! Ill post a picture later.

So nothing to eat yet today. But I am heading to a family function so there is going to be a lot of food and we are sampling the wines available at the golf course where my reception is so we can pick which ones were going to have at the reception. So back to fasting tomorrow.

I'm doing hot yoga tomorrow with my MOH! It's going to be my first time I'm so excited I can't wait! I hope I last in the heat!
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Ok so I just bought a Twix bar...I have it on my desk beside me...put a piece in my mouth chewed it and imediately spat it out....i feel disgusting....

Slow day at work...

So, I have a bit of a Starbucks addiction....

Because of this, I researched the calories of my favourite drinks and I thought I would list them for you along with some low cal snacks!



5 calories, 0 g fat
0 calories, 0 g fat
130 calories, 0 g fat
80 calories, 0 g fat
120 calories, 0 g fat
170 calories, 1 g fat
190 calories, 2.5 g fat
170 calories, 1.5 g fat
20 calories, 0 g fat
180 calories, 0 g fat
180 calories, 0 g fat
10 calories, 0 g fat


110 calories, 1 g fat
140 calories, 1.5 g fat
190 calories, 2.5 g fat
60 calories, 0 g fat
90 calories, 0 g fat
120 calories, 0 g fat
140 calories, 1 g fat
170 calories, 0 g fat
60 calories, 0 g fat

All suggestions based on a Tall serving (12 fl oz / 355 mL).

Snacks 100 cals or under
1. Fat Free Muffins – 90 Calories

Basic Mix
2 cups S.R Wholemeal Flour
1/4 cup bran
1/4 cup Splenda (you can use sugar if you prefer – just add the extra calories)
1 cup raisins or sultanas
11/2 cup frozen or fresh blueberries
1 ripe banana
3/4 cup apple sauce
11/2 cups skim milk
2 egg whites or 2tsp. egg replacer
1tbsp. baking powder


In one bowl mix the flour, baking powder, raisins, splenda and blueberries

In a blender (or another bowl) mix the banana, skim milk, apple sauce and the egg whites. Then add this mixture to the flour mixture and mix well.

Pour into a muffin tray (pre sprayed with a vegetable oil spray….or use 1 cal cooking spray) and bake in ia moderate oven for 15-18 mins. (do not overcook as they will dry out)

Makes 18 Muffins at 90 calories per serve!

2. 3 x Arnott’s Adora Cream Wafers – 84 Calories
3. 2 x Chips Ahoy Cookies – 100 Calories
4. 4 x Rye Cruskits with Extra Light Philadelphia Cheese – 100 Calories
5. Meringue, 25g – 95 Calories
6. Sorbet, average serve, 150g – 100 Calories
7. 2 Pre Packaged Piklets with Weight Watchers Jam – 80 Calories
8. 100ml of Lite Low Fat Custard (Varies due to brand) 80- 100 Calories
9. 1 Jam Sponge Roll – 94 Calories
10. 6 x Carrot Sticks with Extra Light Philadelphia Cheese -80 calories
11. Grilled cucumber slices with grated light mozzarella cheese -80 Calories
12. Lite Jelly – 9 calories
13. 4 x Egg whites with 1 tbsp sun dried tomato pesto mixed in – 98 Calories
14. Watermelon, 1 cup – 50 Calories
15. Frozen watermelon! Tastes like an ice block. 1 cup – 50 Calories
16. 2 Slices of Bega Super slim Cheese – 80 Calories
17. Fun sized cherry ripe -89 Calories
18. 2 Kit Kat fingers – 100 Calories
19. Fun sized Maltesers – 97 Calories
20. Milky Bar White -83 Calories
21. 4 x Apricots – 80 Calories
22. Banana – 85 Calories
23. Medium Sized Apple – 72 Calories
24. Zooper Dooper ice blocks -15 Calories
25. Gelato – 2 scoops – 70 calories
26. Non fat soft serve with cone – 80 calories
27. 100g low fat frozen yogurt – 69 calories
28. Pre Packaged Lunch box Sized Popcorn – 80 Calories
29. 2 x Freedom Foods Fruit Strips – 88 Calories
30. All Natural Soup 1/4 Can (220g)
Garden Mushroom – 75 Calories
Garden Tomato – 62 Calories
Garden Vegetable – 79 Calories
Spicy Tomato – 62 Calories
31. Packet Soups – Varies depending on flavour and brand. Calories range from 44 – 81
32. 100g of Vegetables – Generally under 100 calories except for avocado
33. 200g of Natural Acidopholus Yogurt -100 Calories
34. Cup of raw strawberries dusted with Splenda Sweetener – 35 Calories
35. Lite Hot Chocolate (2 teaspoons) no milk – 42 Calories

Everyone (well most people) took today off from work since yesterday was our national holiday. So it's a slow day and a lot of people who are working on my projects with me are away. So I really don't have much to do. So if you guys see multiple posts from me today, firstly I appologize, but it's really the only thing I have to do today unless someone needs a hand with one of their projects!

Hope you like this!

Happy Canada Day!!

Well a day late but I wasn't home yesterday!

So I'm starting up the 2468 with my ana-buddy. We met on a website back in the winter and got talking and found out we were getting married 2 weeks apart. We exchanged e-mails then BBM PINs and have been talking every day since!

Anyways...I've had a bit of a rocky start to the plan this week because of my lovely period (not!) and my 200 day ended up being a 450 day. That was Wednesday. Yesterday was pretty much a write-off. I drank, I ate (not horribly but I ate) about 800-1000 cals so I'm definitely feeling a mix between period bloat and food bloat!

The good news is is that I fit into my size 28 Rock & Republic jeans that I bought a month ago for motivation. By the end of yesterday they were a little snug (mix of the food booze and being on my feet all day made my tummy and legs swell). So today I'm combating this effect and I'm fasting before I fall back into the 2468. I have to lose 10 lbs by the end of the month. I'm back working out every day, or at least walking for 2 hours in the evening. I am seeing a difference physically but my scale wont dip down below 141!! I think I just have a crappy scale. One day I can weigh in at 142 (I weigh in first thing in the morning) and the next day I'm at 147 (like this morning, but I can see why for that weight this time).

I want to put a tracker up on here so I can watch the ticker move to my goal, but I'm not sure how to post it and have the URL work properly.

Anyways girls, today is a liquid fast with coffee and water as my only intake and for lunch for that blood sugar spike I have organic, 100% fruit juice which I only plan on having half of (75 cals). So if I can keep my liquid cals under 100 today I'll be perfectly happy.

I did my BMR calculation the other day and found that if I lay in one spot all day and did nothing, I burn 1481 cals in a day just existing. So with my walks/workouts and walking at work and to and from the car etc...i'm burning just over 2000 cals a day. Which technically means, I SHOULD be losing 1 lb every 2 days.

I think my body hates me...