Wednesday, August 7, 2013

OMG I've been a bad blogger!

Hello Lovelies,

I can't believe I haven't posted in almost 3 months!

It's been a mix between I've been crazy busy at work (mixed with some days of I don't want to do a thing) and I've felt like I have had nothing to write about.

At work, I've been working on an overhaul of the school website while trying to get more enrolments. So it's

D and I are doing OK. I kinda F'ed up in the last few weeks. I had a girls' night out and went dancing. It was a blast and I had a "dance partner" the whole night that made me feel attractive and desirable and blah blah blah blah you know the drill. Anyways long story short, in a moment of drunken stupidity, I gave him my number but didn't think anything of it that I would hear from him. He ended up texting me a few days later and I ended up texting back and we spend the next 2 weeks chatting over text. The conversation was nothing risque or anything daring...but still I shouldn't have been doing it. Anyways D saw a message and it blew up in my face this weekend. Now he's still making snide little comments every now and then. So this has been interesting.

Weight wise I've been OK. I finally broke 130 again. It's only been .2lbs under but it's still something. I'm working out 2-3 times a week and I've just incorporated Hot Yoga classes into my schedule. I've decided that I will be no longer eating the food the school provides. I lost 10 lbs over the summer not eating here. So maintaining and losing more won't be a constant struggle like it has been.

Anyways other than that not much as been new with me. D and I bought a new car last week. We're driving a black 2010 Mazda6. It's SOOOOOO much nicer than our old beater.

I have been reading everyone's posts but I just feel like the events in my life have been really mediocre and would just be boring for you all.

On another note: I received a comment the other day from Harlow. It's great to see she's still out there.

I miss you all lovelies and even though I've been silent, I haven't left so thank you all for still reading :)

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Good morning Lovelies,

I have spent the better part this past week just staring at an empty post box. Trying to figure out what to write about. I know my last couple of posts haven't been all that positive, or really interesting and I want to give you all something interesting to read. But lately my life has been anything but interesting. I'm just generally a boring person. I don't get out much, my weekends are spent helping my parents out with their renos and visiting with them and my grandparents. 

On the weight front, I'm still hovering in the low 130s but the good thing is that most days I'm consistently in the 132s. I guess that can't be all bad. I haven't been making it to the gym these last couple of weeks. Work has me here well past evening class times and I'm just so busy that all I want to do these days is just sleep. It didn't help that I was also horribly sick this past week as well. Some sort of Spring cold mixed with a flu of sorts. Just gross. 

With work, we hired a marketing consultant to help with brand recognition to up our enrolment. So we're in the middle of a new campaign with posters up around the city, radio ads, newspaper ads and online advertising. Next week we have an open house to close off the campaign. Needless to say, with working on admitting potential students and preparing for this open house has me busier than ever. 

Finances seem to be getting back on track. REALLY slowly though. Our savings account is slowly starting to hold money in it. D has a good handle on his credit cards, and I'm chipping away at mine. This month has been a god-send. We managed to get a full month credit on our internet/cable/phone bill so I have an extra $420 this month which is going right to my credit cards to get a chunk paid off. It's slower than I'd like but it still feels good. D and I might also be able to buy a patio set as well on our next pay cheque. All with cash. No credit needed! 

Other than that, I'm running the Spartan Race in June. Haven't really been training for it so we'll see if I can last the 5k. I'll probably be a pile of jelly with cuts, scrapes and bruises by the end of the weekend.

I've gone back to skipping lunch entirely at work again, and just having a bit of fruit to last me the day so I don't over eat at dinner time. D and I have been really good as well, cooking almost every night. There have been the VERY odd time in the last few months where we have ordered take-out but over all we haven't gone to restaurants except for the odd special occasion.

I'm also taking this opportunity this month to buy some new clothes for work. I'm in desperate need for something to wear these days. I need to find a store that sells good quality while staying within a good price range. If I had my way, I'd buy from my favourite stores and rack up a very high bill! But, I need quite a few things not just a piece or two. 

Anyways, I need to run. Time to get back to the giant pile of work that is sitting beside me!

Monday, April 15, 2013

change to making comments

Hello Lovelies,

I just wanted to let you all know that I've now added the captcha verification to my comments. I am being flooded with constant spam comments trying to sell me penis enlargement pills.

Sorry for adding the extra step.

Not much new for me over here.

Still sick and tired of not budging in any way in my weight or measurements. I just feel gross all the time now. I'm not sure if it's a mental thing or if something is not working with me.

I'm so looking forward to when the school year is over so I can go back to restricting again. I hate how my boss forces me to go and eat. She is so triggering. She's always been an over weight woman, and has done every fad diet that has ever come out. It's an obsession. She's gone gluten and dairy free to try to lose the weight but it's not working. She's hiding behind some sort of rubbish homoeopathic diagnosis, but yet she is addicted to artificial sweetners and diet everything. Now, I know 0 calorie sugary drinks can be considered a god send when having a treat, but it's more than should be consumed. 2 packs of slpenda in every coffee she has and when she's not drinking coffee she's drinking 0 calorie cranberry cocktail (no nutritional value) or diet sodas. She barely drinks water and is always eating. Whenever we go to eat lunch, she is always commenting on how skinny I am, how she shouldn't be eating and that I don't eat enough. I get the comments, you can eat anything since you're so skinny!! Combine that with the poor selection of food that is served here at the school makes me hate even walking through the dining room during the day.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. Works got me buried but I just wanted to update you all on where I am.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Feeling low (again)

Hello lovelies,

So, as it happens every few weeks, I'm in my low slump again. I just have this overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Like I should be further along in what I want to do with my life. Now this could just be stress with the fact we have 2 empty classes going into next year and we're having trouble filling spots and we've had quite a few kids withdraw for next year. So that pressure might have an effect. But I'm also feeling that everyone else just more successful at life over all.

I have friends that have kids that are managing life, family and self perfectly. Friends that are abso-fucking-lutely phenomenal at keeping up with their personal goals. One friend is now a fully certified life coach and is starting a whole new business (she's been running her own businesses since we graduated university), 2 friends competing in Figure and Bikini Model competitions in the coming weeks and have stuck with their diets and their workout plans for months without straying. Friends successful in their jobs with the freedom to change at will knowing they wont have to negotiate for their salaries and what value they would bring to companies. Friends and co-workers that are able to plan vacations or getaways at a moment's notice.

Here I am, struggling to juggle all aspects of my life. I just don't seem to add up or measure up to where I thought I would be. Sometimes I think, what's the point of trying to do more or get better when I always just seem to fall short of anything great. I'm just OK. I'm not successful, I'm not inspirational, I am just existing. I don't know how to feel fulfilled. I don't know how to be satisfied. I don't know what's missing.

I hate this feeling this general discontent.

I wish I was something.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Hello Lovelies,

So I had my stats taken a couple weeks ago and then again this weekend. I was told I wasn't eating enough. I'm always stuffed doing this thing, and I now check in every 2 weeks so the guy can keep an eye on my eating.

I have lost 3.5% body fat since I started which is pretty good, but I haven't had a change in weight (i've heard the whole "it's probably muscle" thing) or in my measurement. Right now I'm clearly bloated because I'm getting my period this week but still I should have seen results in AT LEAST my measurements since I started.

Who knows.

I am pretty frustrated about this and I want to know what I'm doing wrong. I've been perfectly honest in my food journal, even with my mini binges or when i've been socializing and eaten not too good for you things. but over all i've been eating very clean and have stayed away from packaged foods (minus my protein bars).

In 3 weeks time, I'm going to be keeping my class schedule as my gym schedule and upping my cardio big time. Time to practice running and train for the Spartan Race in June.

Anyways that's all that's new with me. Thought I would keep you all in the loop.

Fucking no change.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

still here

Hello lovelies,

I'm still here.

I've just been finding it really hard to write lately. I've sat with blogger open and staring at the screen and haven't been able to figure out what I want to say.

Not much is new here on my end. My gym classes are going great. I feel great going and being active. I'm up  to 3-4 times a week now and I don't feel like I'm going to die the next day any more. Weight has been a solid constant. I have not gained or lost in the last 4 weeks. I lost 4lbs after my first week doing this program but nothing since. I've been told I look "firmer" but no comments on weight loss or anything like that. Clothes still fit the same.

Miranda sent me her budgeting spreadsheet, and I've been working slowly away on it with my monthly spending. I've had to put a hold on working on it since our Municipal Taxes are due at the end of the month along with our Car Insurance and all of our regular bills as well. Our Taxes and Insurance are $2,200 alone. So D and I are on a tight budget and there is no extra spending happening at all this month. I hate March. We have discussed that we are going to put more into our joint account every pay cheque so we aren't strapped every March and October when these bills come around. So that's a plus.

Anyways, That's pretty much it for me. Sorry for being so Blah.

I'm still reading. I'm not gone. Just Un-inspired. I'll try to post again soon.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

So I finally got my bottles of OxyElite on Monday! I have to say I hate courier companies. They don't tell you anywhere that they will be charging duty and taxes when they deliver. You only find out when the guy shows up. They don't take cash, only credit cards and cheques. I don't have cheques so I had to wait until after I got paid to put enough money on my Visa so I could pay the damned $50. UGH!

ANYWAYS. So I'm on day 3 of taking them (went straight to 1 pill in the morning and 1 after lunch) and I've lost 2lbs in water weight. I know it's' only water weight but it feels SOOOOOOOO GOOD! Only because I don't feel like a giant ball of bloatedness, and my clothes fit a little better now. I start at the gym on Thursday, it's only an intro session, but I will officially be signed up for classes for the next 10 weeks. I will be VERY sore for a while lovelies. But the results will be soooo worth it!

Here's to seeing low 120s (or lower!) by summer!!

Monday, January 14, 2013

missed a day - this never posted...

So I didn't eat anything else Sunday night (woo me!)

Yesterday I had:

Coffee with some milk - 15 cals

1 cup lettuce - 8 cals
1 tomato slice - 6 cals
3 slices of cucumber - 3 cals
1tbs calorie wise Kraft Italian dressing - 5 cals
6 honey garlic meatballs - 131 cals

Pita Wrap - 559 cals
Raisin Bran (2 servings) - 360 cals

TOTAL: 1087

I didn't do as well as I wanted to. D picked up dinner on the way to pick me up from work so I didn't have a say and I was starving but then I overdid it on the cereal. I would have been under 800 otherwise.


Coffee and milk - 15 cals

2 cups lettuce - 16 cals
3 tomato slices - 18 cals
5 cucumber slices - 5 cals
1/4 cup broccoli - 14 cals
Calorie Wise Balsamic - 25 cals
1.75 hard boiled egg - 136 cals

TOTAL so far: 571 cals

Tonight for dinner it's D's work Christmas Party. It's at an Italian restaurant and it's a set menu so I know I will be WAY over tonight. Not much I can do. I'm just going to pick the most veggie dense foods I can get and have no drinks. Only water for me tonight.

Miranda: my e-mail is I have to say I'm pretty excited.

Seeking Something Else: I will definitely give Mint another look over for the Canadian Content and I am eager to look over that other link you sent me! Thanks for looking into that for me :)

I want to welcome back Kat Not Jas from her year long hiatus!!

Well I have to get back to work for the last half hour of my day. Enough Slacking TK! Wish me luck with dinner everyone!

Sorry for not posting for a while.

I managed to get past the 138s and into the 137s and then I got sick. I didn't eat for a day and was puking my guts out. So the next day I was back to 136, but I was FAMISHED. I did nothing but eat. Unfortunately, we were low on groceries (ie fruits and veg.) so I just binged on carbs. The awfulness just spilled over onto the weekend. I didn't get to the gym at all because I was either fighting off an insane headache or this constant upset stomach. Yesterday I managed to just have smoothies and frozen fruit and then a 3 oz piece of steak and half a sweet potato for dinner. I was almost at 140 on the weekend and now I'm back in the 138s.

Do over.

I have my meals set for until Thursday, where I'm going to be doing a complete overhaul on everything. Tonight will be the other half of the steak with some salad while lunch will be either soup or veggies. Tomorrow, leftover lasagna (very small portion). Wednesday, probably pasta. Lunches all week, soup or salad.

My OxyElite is going to arrive either today or tomorrow. I have been stalking UPS since it shipped tracking where the package is. I got confirmation that it's cleared (ie it's allowed over the border) and it is on its way to being delivered. Last location was the other side of the city. I'm super pumped that I'm going to be getting my 2 bottles in the next 36 hours! woo!

So, I've signed up with my co-workers to do the Spartan Run this summer. I'm actually excited. It's a 5k run/obstacle course. I now have a goal to work towards and help motivate me to do this run. I have already paid my registration fees so I'm locked in and there's no going back. I was tempted to do the 5k run for the race weekend in May, but I don't want to injure something before the Spartan Run in June so one big event only this year. Maybe next year I'll do both. If my running is up to speed I'll also probably join the school Running Club in the fall. Anything to keep me active no matter what. I wish I could just buy out my gym contract and sign up with the community rec centre (a lot cheaper and I can pay upfront rather than automatic withdrawls from my account).

This weekend D is finally taking me out to buy the last gift of my Christmas Present! I'm getting a pair of shoes/boots! I need some bad. I donated a bunch I just don't wear anymore. Bill wise, I'm starting to finally get on top of them and I'm going to start attacking my credit cards. I'm going to work on my Amex first since it's only $500 and then cancel it. I'm not sure what to work on next though. Should I work on my Visa or my Line of Credit? Both are huge and maxed out. The interest payments come directly out of my account for my line of credit each month so that's not something I have to focus on specifically, but my Visa I have to make my minimums which are $100. I do know that I will have to cut my Visa up so I just don't use it at all. I always get tempted to use it when there's space on it, ruining all the work I did.

Miranda: my e-mail is

Well, I should get back to work.

Oh yeah...this supposedly exists. Disgusting

Sunday, January 6, 2013

So yesterday I had a smoothie 319 cals, broccoli and cauliflower in a light cheese sauce 120 cals and then I went out for dinner with girl friend to a new Italian Place. It was 606 cals but it could have been better if I had done some form or activity yesterday.

Today I had poached eggs with toast and some bacon 521 cals, a latte and a croissant 426 cals while out for coffee with another friend and an orange 80 cals. After my workout I am still left with 111 cals if I NEED to eat anything later tonight but I doubt I will. Tea should  just do me fine. I burned 338 cals today doing some calisthenics and the P90X Yoga X DVD. I only got 20 mins into the DVD because my elbow kept twinge-ing on me. Something wasn't right and if I kept doing the Vinyasa I would have really injured myself. I'm going to borrow my mom's 5lb weights and do some strengthening exercises for my biceps and shoulders. I think it was because I was over compensating on my arms because of my tendon injury a few years ago. I'm still nervous to do any kind of movement that involves a pushup. Also, the video cemented the fact that I really dislike Hatha Yoga and I really miss my Bikram classes I used to take downtown. Who can argue with 1000 cals sweated out during a 90 min period? It also loosens your muscles up so you have less chance of injuring yourself as well.

Work starts up again tomorrow full swing. All the kids are back and I am going to be be EXTREMELY busy. I am going to try to post each day during my lunch to go over my intake. I will include dinner from the previous day and if I came in under my calorie goal or not. I will also update my weight as it moves.

Miranda: I would love to see that spreadsheet. How could I get it off of you? Would you like my e-mail?

Seeking Something Else: Thanks for the site! I think I had tried it once before, but my bank and credit cards aren't supported because I'm in Canada. Canada gets shafted on a lot of great websites that come out of the states be it helpful like this one or online stores. Because of various laws and such we miss out on some really great stuff.

Friday, January 4, 2013

I will be logging my food on MFP and I'll post photos on here to keep myself accountable. If I can't show it I don't eat it.

Smoothie for breakfast
Rice milk
Protein powder
Frozen berries
1/2 banana

Hard boiled egg
Red pepper
4 Breton crackers


Took my sister out to buy her birthday present. We were toying with the idea of eating at the pub at the mall but we thought better and are just going home. Now just to figure what or if I'm eating dinner tonight. If I eat it will be another shake or a sweet potato with a little butter.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Who's been a bad little blogger??

This girl.

I am so sorry lovelies for falling of the face of the Earth. I really don't have any good reason to have neglected my blog for this long, other than just not doing it. I thought about posting, but then I would think about how I really didn't have much to say.

I hope you all had great holidays celebrating whatever you celebrate!

Christmas was good to me. Maybe even a little too good. I've gained 7lbs over the holidays from just not watching what I was eating and making really poor choices. I've developed some bad habits because of this last month or so. Ordered a lot of fast food and cooked very little. Binged on chocolate and candy and got addicted to carbs again. I have my work cut out for me to kick these addictions again. My MFP has suffered because of how ashamed I am to post the things I was eating.

Anyways enough of the bad stuff...on to the good stuff!

So, before school finished, we had our annual Christmas Concert and Craft Sale. The kids make baked good and make gift baskets to be raffled off. Parents also donate things to be auctioned off in our Silent auction. I came out on top in the Silent Auction! I got a Cherry Amber ring for $65 (retail $100) and won the fitness package that was donated!! Remember a while back I talked about saving up to do this program? Well it's called Lean & Fit and the gym is called Greco. It's a private chain here and he is the go to trainer for the hockey team and his gyms have this great 10 week program to recondition your body. I'm so excited. The program is around $800 all in and I won it for $150!! What a steal right? Well I only got it because I was the only bidder and they lowered the starting bid from $250 to $150. Anyways, in 2 weeks I'll be killing myself 4 times a week doing these Circuit Training classes and maybe some yoga too if I can fit it in. I am also getting ready to cancel my GoodLife membership and join the rec-centre's gym. My sister works there and told me that a 3 month package only costs $75!! And she believes that personal trainer costs their hourly rate with the City! So goodbye $75+ a session to $20 a session! Mind you, that's something to look into later. But I will have a permanent gym buddy with my sister so I'll have more motivation to go after Greco.

I've already bought protein powder for my smoothies and I'm thinking of doing a meal replacement program with them too for the first bit. I'm thinking breakfast and every second dinner will be a shake. Lunch I can't really get out of, but I will be bringing in my own protein (meats) for my salads rather than risking the sauces and other unknown ingredients in the food here. I am also going to order a couple of bottles of OxyElite Pro in the coming weeks. I'm splitting the order with a friend because I found out that shipping is $30 whether I buy 1 bottle or 5 bottles. So to save on shipping I've talked her into buying into the order with me. I know I will be back in the 120s or lower by the end of March!

So that's all that's really new with me right now. Everything else is same old same old. Not much I can do about that though.

I hope everything is great with you all and I wish you luck on your New Year Resolutions! I know you all can do it!

Mine are pretty obvious:
Hit my goal weight
Work on paying off my debt
Put money away for savings
Keep a spotless house
Start decorating the house

If any of you ladies know of any apps or programs that help with managing finances please pass them on my way! D and I are already thinking about cancelling our cable since we're doing a lot of downloading as it is already. And that will help with not lumping in front of the TV every night and will want to make me get out and do more things!