So, as it happens every few weeks, I'm in my low slump again. I just have this overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Like I should be further along in what I want to do with my life. Now this could just be stress with the fact we have 2 empty classes going into next year and we're having trouble filling spots and we've had quite a few kids withdraw for next year. So that pressure might have an effect. But I'm also feeling that everyone else just more successful at life over all.
I have friends that have kids that are managing life, family and self perfectly. Friends that are abso-fucking-lutely phenomenal at keeping up with their personal goals. One friend is now a fully certified life coach and is starting a whole new business (she's been running her own businesses since we graduated university), 2 friends competing in Figure and Bikini Model competitions in the coming weeks and have stuck with their diets and their workout plans for months without straying. Friends successful in their jobs with the freedom to change at will knowing they wont have to negotiate for their salaries and what value they would bring to companies. Friends and co-workers that are able to plan vacations or getaways at a moment's notice.
Here I am, struggling to juggle all aspects of my life. I just don't seem to add up or measure up to where I thought I would be. Sometimes I think, what's the point of trying to do more or get better when I always just seem to fall short of anything great. I'm just OK. I'm not successful, I'm not inspirational, I am just existing. I don't know how to feel fulfilled. I don't know how to be satisfied. I don't know what's missing.
I hate this feeling this general discontent.
I wish I was something.