Monday, September 12, 2011

Hello lovelies.

So yesterday was my 1st year anniversary. It was a nice day. We spent the day downtown, walked around the market, saw my parents, and then went for dinner to a little tapas-type place downtown. Oddly, for some reason, it didn't feel special. I thought it was going to be some wonderful day, but it just felt like any other day. I'm still happy in my marriage. I love my husband, but I guess my general apathy at everything is just starting to take its toll.

I know my posts are few and far between and not the happiest of things. But this is the only place that I can just let everything out. I feel I have to keep up a certain persona every day. I alway have to be the strong one, the one where things just roll off me. When I try to talk to D about being "a little" unhappy, he always say I'm too depressive about things. I don't know how to tell him that everything is just chipping away at me. I feel inadequate.

I guess all I can do is just keep going forward no matter what.

D and I are going to see Pearl Jam on Wednesday night. I'm quite excited and D is over the moon (they're his all time favourite band). I've asked D if we can go see the opera Pagliacci that's playing at the theatre this weekend. He said we'll see what money is like after pay. My goal for the week is to clean the house top to bottom. I've been so apathetic that the place is just a disaster zone. So, I'm planning on taking it one room at a time. Today, the bedroom and our closet. I think I'm also going to go for a walk today.

Anyways, another goal of mine is to post at least twice a week. I really need to start up again on here. I miss my outlet and my own space.

1 comment:

  1. The concert sounds really fun!! It must be rough to have to be the "strong one." I've never had that role in my relationship-never could! Hang in there.