Looking back and Moving forward

2 days left of 2010.
What have I accomplished?

Lost 28lbs since february
Got moved out of a job and told I suck.
Took a massive pay cut.
Got married
Bought a house

It's been sort of an OK year. The bad feels like it outweighs the good but the good is clearly what I should be focusing on.

I'm getting so bad at managing my money. I've been called this week by 2 different creditors for my phone bill and a credit card. I'm broke until next Friday and I have to pay 300$ in bills and my money after my mortgage is $500 for 2 weeks so basically I will only have $200 to last me until mid-January. I'm definitely feeling the squeeze.

Therefore, my top New Year's Resolution for 2011 is to get a Supervisory job ($8 pay raise/hr) at my current workplace or a whole new job by the spring. I don't need to be in anything special but I do need to be making at least what I was when I was back in the office.

Resolution number 2 is a two-parter:

1) I want to lose another 20 lbs by 2012 (I know I've given a lot of leeway for this one but my metabolism has really slowed down so I'm giving my body some time.)

2) Work out more. Whether that means joining a gym or a yoga studio or just getting into the habit of using my workout DVDs or video games on a regular basis. This is part 2 of  this one because I  need to workout to lose more weight. I want to be 118 and I know that restriction alone will do nothing for me at this point so I need to step up my expenditure.

I don't think that I need any other resolutions other than those two. I hope that I'm successful and I definitely meet my first goal. So if any of my Canadian readers hear of job openings in the Nations Capital if you could send me the link it would be greatly appreciated!! :)

Good luck to all of you on your New Year's Resolutions!!!

OMFG!

I'm a size 27 jean!! All the jeans you all saw in my previous pics were 29s (I knew they were big but not 2 sizes big!)

So here are my new guess jeans and a shirt I bought yesterday at the sales. I also got 2 slouchy sweaters.

Well at least there has been some progress since the summer!

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progress

So here is my progress pic. Still bloated and gross but I didn't want to skip another progress week.

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IMG00216-20101224-2149.jpg

Merry Christmas lovelies!!

thought I would pose in front of my tree with the peppermint lolly my hubby got me in my stocking.

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I'm sorry

I'm sorry lovelies that I didn't post this week at all (progress picture included). I've just been having an insanely fat feeling week. I'm feeling under the weather and I'm coming up to my period so I'm retaining water like crazy. My weight is still sitting at it's usual spot right under 138 (137.8 as per my scale) with fluctuations of +1 lb, but I just feel incredibly massive and embarrassed to put any photos up of me right now. I know that if I put up a picture it will probably look mostly the same as last week's but the way I'm feeling is just not confident.

As per my eating, I've done very well this week. I've stayed under 800 all week (except for wednesday). Yesterday at work I basically hit a brick wall about a third of the way into my shift and had absolutely no energy to do anything at all. Obviously, it was stupidly and rediculously busy and I had to have some sort of energy boost. So I started off with 2 lattes (2% since the resto doesn't do plain coffee or non-fat) then I had my salad and my apple (all on my first break and the salad was supposed to last 2 breaks) and then on my second break since I had no food I ate candy and chocolate. I don't know where I ended up yesterday with my food but I know it wasn't good. Today I only had about 650 today (should have been a fast but I had lunch with my parents). Tomorrow is a perfect day. I will be having only 300 cals. I will be on my own all day with nothing to eat other than vegetable broth (15cals) and clementines (30cals). I will also hopefully fit in a workout between the painters coming to touch  up the fresh mud patches and Christmas Eve mass tomorrow night.

Anyways, again, I'm sorry my lovelies. This monday I will DEFINITELY post a new picture.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas or a Happy Holidays!!

I would like to say hello to my new followers! I looked to see if you had blogs of your own but there were no links or they didn't work! I would love to read about you lovlies if you have a blog so please post your links in the comments for this post!!! I would also like to put out a special hello to Harlow. She was the first blog I found in this community and seeing her in my followers list was the best thing of my day today! I hope I don't bore you all with my constant babbling :p

So I seem to be hovering between 140 and 138. I dipped to 137 yesterday morning but this morning I was back at 138. I think I'm going to re-inflate my exercise ball and start doing free weights on it (as per Harlow's suggestion) early in the mornings. I actually can't wait until my basement is fully set up so I have room to do my P90X videos. I did that a bit before the wedding before I discovered Bikram.

Tomorrow I'm going to have my second phone date with my Ana-buddy/pen pal. Last sunday was the first time we ever spoke on the phone. It was amazing! It was like we had been friends forever and had spoken over the phone countless times. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned her before but we met back at the beginning of the year on Pretty Thin and bonded over the fact we were both getting married in the fall. We exchanged e-mails and then BBM PINs and have been talking ever since. We even sent eachother wedding gifts! Anyways needless to say I'm super excited to talk to her again.

After that I'll be heading downtown to finish off my Christmas shopping. Just my dad and my grandfather left and stocking stuffers for D. So that's almost done with and all the walking of tomorrow and the lack of lunch will be a good thing. However, I have my department Christmas party tomorrow night at a restaurant called Jack Astors. Basically it's a family style restaurant (lots of fried foods and high calorie pastas and such. So I must tread carefully. I have to order something so people don't bug me but I also have to order something that wont make me hate myself.

Anyways wish me luck tomorrow loves!

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As a change I thought I would let you all see a front shot. Standing sideways one can suck in and deceive, but this way you all can see me with no smoke and mirrors. My love handles are ever present but I'm not sure if you can see that I am starting to get a little bit of a space between my lower thighs. I noticed it Saturday night. It's definitely a start!

Let me know what you all think and if you hane some love handle busting exercises or tips please pass them along!!
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Monday Monday

Hello again lovelies!

I'm sorry I'm not soo great at posting recently. Monday is really the only day where I can post without being hounded by D about what I'm doing. He always pokes his nose into what I'm doing when I'm on the computer. (Note to self: get an internet cable for the computer upstairs)

This weekend wasn't an absolute fail but it wasn't the greatest. I didn't have any food at work on Saturday except for some salad, but I did go out for sushi with T that evening. We both kind of went crazy on the sushi. We then saw Burlesque (OMFG AMAZING MOVIE!!) I don't know how Christina got herself that tiny and then so fat so quickly. Has anyone noticed that she's gotten quite chubby lately?? Anyways, she had the perfect petite body but still had all of her awesome curves!!

Yesterday I think was a relative success :) I didn't eat ANYTHING all day until my parents came over for the dinner I cooked. I made roast lamb with a roasted pepper sabayon and I also made asparagus and a green salad. My portion was relatively small and I didn't even finish it. So a small success for me! yay!

I've started a diet today that is going to be super easy. Basically there's a set food list (no processed foods or dairy and lean meats and fish and loads of veggies and fruit) but you have to eat 1 apple with every meal and you can snack on apples all day long. There's not counting but the whole point is to fill up on apples so you don't fill up on other stuff. I'm going to be doing this diet for the next 12 days and hopefully I can drop down a couple pounds :) I'm doing this diet with my texting buddy. This diet is also great because it doesn't seem like you're dieting but only eating clean. I have to go out today and get the rest of the food on  my food list since I didn't have time to get it all yesterday.

Today is another busy day. I'm currently doing laundry and I have to run around town doing errands. Stuff for the house and the last little things for Chirstmas. I'll be posting my progress pictures in a little bit since they're on my phone right now.

Anyways off to do the rest of my errands :)

Progress #2.

Well lovelies. Here's #2. I don't think there's been much of a change and the scale has been doing its usual flux.

This past weekend has been moderate but not great. I got most of my christmas shopping done and I'm completely broke. Maybe I'll eat less this week? No $$ = no food therefore no food = no eating. I need to be 130 by new years.
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I heart my followers

Hello my loves!

Thanks for the comments!

Fed Up: yes it is a VS bra! :) It's pretty old though :p I got it 2 summers ago when I was on my trip to NYC. We just had VS open up in Canada recently but they're in Toronto and Edmonton, so unfortunately I can either pay shipping and duty to buy online or I have to make a road trip to Toronto to go shopping. Both very pricey endeavours.

Zette: Thanks love for the encouragement! I actually kinda do want to keep a bit of my curves as the weight goes down. I have to say it's a blessing and a curse that I have a curvy figure. I can wear very fitted pencil skirts and dresses and show off the feminimity but at the same time a lot of  stuff that's shapeless makes me look HUGE and all my weight goes to my hips and tummy.

Désespérée: I agree that I can be thinner. I was 118 when I was 18 and starting Uni. I have pictures of me where I almost disappeared when I was turned sideways. My UGW is 118 but I have to get past this ungodly plateau first.

I am determined to get myself working out regularily. I might talk with the Hubby about getting me a personal trainer. When I had a trainer I was really really good. My weight was not much different than now but I was mostly muscle. I was a whole pant size smaller and I was pretty solid. I was content with my body but always wanting more. I might look into a nutritionist/dietician to set me up with a diet (ideally one who will give me a celebrity calibre diet).

The ECA and work are doing wonders but I have to make sure I keep up my water intake (which is hard when you're running around all day and talking to people. I'm lucky if I can drink 2 bottles of water during my 8 hour shift.

I think I might start posting a progress picture every Monday. The feedback from you girls is great, and I really appreciate it. I don't get help from people in my RL. They all basically blow smoke up my ass. They don't see my love handles or my lumps.

Well I'm off to read all your blogs and comment!

I <3 you all!

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Hey girls.

So I'm braving your comments. This is me this morning. I'm second day period bloat and my weight is up a bit. What do you all think? See bottom of post.

I've been drinking TONS of water to try to reduce the water retention. I hope this helps. The Victoria Secret show is definitely giving me new vigor. I will hit my Christmas goal. Their thighs are so muscular and shapely yet they ALL have gaps! I really want their entire diet and regime.
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Ugh, periods suck. I spent all this morning curled in a little ball of pain. I had to eat this morning for my pain meds so today is going to be my high day. I still took my ECA pill this morning but after I ate for my other pill. The effects wont be as profound since I ate before hand but I will still have it working its magic :)

I'm retaining water so I didn't weigh myself this morning and I hope that I will see something closer to 138 tomorrow morning. The water weight usually stays for a couple of days but slowly goes down over the course of the week so I should see some changes over the week. D mentioned this morning that my stomach looks flatter (which is odd because I'm SUPER bloated but still a nice compliment) so one more proof that these pills are working!

I have an appointment with the eye doctor for my check up today. I love going to my eye doctor because he's SUPER hot! lol I always joked that I would woo him during my appointments and marry him! haha! still it's fun to go see a doctor that spends the entire time staring at your eyes when he's really nice to look at himself :p

So I've bought almost all of my Christmas decorations and I can start decorating the house this weekend. I sitll have to find a tree topper. Today is a day full of chores. I have to clean the house and do laundry as well as errands and groceries. This will be a long busy day and these cramps wont be any help. At least I wont be confined to my bed and I'll be moving around and burning SOME cals.

Anyways, time to start my day! Talk to you lovelies soon!

138...wow :) things are going to actually happen! I could really be 130 by Christmas!

My first day on ECA was awesome. I lost 2lbs yesterday. I am now back under 140 (it only took 2 weeks). I have decided to go for a whole month's dose and hopefully get down to 130 by Christmas time.

It has been the first diet pill that has actually felt like it was DOING SOMETHING in a long long time. I didin't have full on jitters but I could feel my heart beating a little harder and I had this endless supply of energy the whole day. I only felt that I was crashing at about 8 last night. Which after being up and at work most of the day (on a really busy day too) is totally normal.

My eating habits are beginning to become easier and easier to keep under people's radar at work. I also have been on break by myself a lot more too lately.

Tonight I'm closing again but tomorrow I'm off early so I can get some Christmas shopping done :)

It snowed last night and I have to bus to work. :( It's cold windy and super icy and I have to walk through the construction in my development to the bus stop. I hope that it warms up a little in the next hour or so when I leave so I wont freeze!

Anyways I have to get ready for work but I'll keep you posted on how the ECA is doing for me :)

I found out this weekend that one of my coworkers sells ECA pills (Ephedrine Caffiene Asprin). I'm going to talk to him to see how much he's selling them for. I need a good pill to really get my metabolism going. The standard pills are just not doing anything for me anymore. I am taking a break however because I had some funny stuff happening to my body the last few weeks. I hadn't taken any breaks between bottles of pills so I've taken a break for the last week and a bit and my body has seemed to regulate itself. Now I'm ready to get my metabolism running again.

I hope these pills aren't too expensive!!

Thanks Piglet for that bit of knowledge! I'll definitely watch how much cinnamon I put on my oatmeal!! Mind you I never use a whole tbs but I didn't figure a spice had calories! :o

OK...so who remembers the shake weight?? Remember the infomercial of the chick holding the pulsating dumbell? And this movement looks very conspicuously like another action that has a very similar motion (raises eyebrow)?

Well....

I just watched the infomercial for the Shake Weight for men. Let's just say I'm stunned...I see a whole bunch of internet jokes starting up very shortly...

ANYWAYS...

3 posts in 1 day...can't you tell I'm bored and stuck at home? I've done a lot of cleaning today and did some crunches and leg lifts. I'm beginning to run out of things to do so now I just have the chicken in the oven waiting for the hubby to come home. We're going to catch up on Boardwalk Empire tonight. We've been recording quite a few episodes and then we'll watch the rest of them on the On Demand.

I think I might go and update my HSBQ journal. I haven't done that in a few days. I need to state that I'm going to continue with my minor and not go with the major.

I am

Never eating nuts again...

Just watched "How It's Made" on the Discovery Channel. When they make nuts they're coated in oils and salts and fried! SO MANY CALORIES!!! Never again!

I'm thinking of changing up the look of my blog. It's still pretty summery. Hopefully I can find something nice. I'm not that great at doing anything intricate. Wish me luck!

Slowly getting back on track

Well this week has been a whole bunch of ups and downs. T and I got into a fight. Mostly over miscommunicating. Basically She was upset that I seemed that I didn't care about how she felt about her dad passing away. Unfortunately because our only communication for the last month has been via text only it's been hard to really express everything properly. We spoke over the phone and everything is back to normal. So that's good. But because I was really upset over this, I had a huge binge. I got home from work and had pasta, vegetables, licorice, wings and cake. Very much a low point for me.

The rest of the week was decent. I didn't have more than 800 cals on any given day. On Saturday I went to a restaurant with some friends to watch the UFC match. I only had a small appetizer of vegetables. I had one drink and that was it the whole time I was there. For the rest of the night I only drank water.

Yesterday was filled with unpacking and organizing my furniture. So more or less a busy day.

Today my goal is to eat no more than 600 cals and I'll be doing some more unpacking and organizing today. I hope to get all the boxes done by the time D gets home.

I wonder what D would think if I told him I was limiting my whole weeks' worth of calories to the number of calories for one day (approx 1800). I'm not sure how I would do the division, but if I could get away with it I would totally do it. I could stagger the amounts and throw in a fasting day in the mix with it all or I could just do 350 each day.

Tonight I'm making D dinner. He wants roasted chicken. So I have to find a recipe and find some time to walk to the grocery store to pick up any needed ingredients. I plan on only having some vegetables and no potatoes, and I'm going to try to get around eating any chicken at all. Now I just have to find the recipe of how I want to cook the chicken. I have to have it in the oven by 5:30 so it's ready for when he gets home at 7.

I need to buy some spices and plain oatmeal so I can eat that in the mornings to fill me up during the day. I love cinnamon on my oatmeal. It's SOOOO yummy an d gives so much flavour for no calories :) I need to find more foods like that and I need to get more veggies and more fruits at home and remember to eat them when I'm hungry. :p

Anyways this is just one rambling post that does not make sense! LOL I'll post again when my mind isn't in a million places :)

Hello my lovelies...

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. I just feel disjointed from everything. I don't feel like I really belong anywhere. I haven't spoken with any of my friends in weeks. They don't seem to have the time for me. I feel like i'm on the outside of my familiy and really all my life consists of right now is sitting in my house. I feel so devoid of everything right now. My weight sucks, I have no friends and I have no one to talk to. D would just think I'm over reacting and being dramatic, but he's the one that has plans every week and I'm the one that either stays at home or just trails along because I have nothing better to do.

My birthday is tomorrow and it doesn't even feel like it's my birthday. It just feels like another day of the week. Usually this month is a huge event because I have so many friends that share this month with me so we usually spend the whole month prior planning a huge party/night out. This year, no one has even mentioned anything. Granted T's dad passed away a couple of weeks ago and she's not really up for much right now. And I'm not saying that I'm more important. It's just that this month feels weird and not normal.

On the note of T. I'm not sure if she still considers me a good friend anymore. During the whole time her dad was sick I was e-mailing her and txting her to see how she was and if there was anything I could do for her. Things finally settled down for her and we were trying to make plans to get together. Granted we both have very different schedules and we came to today being a good day to get together but D had already made dinner plans for my brithday since I work tomorrow night. I asked her if we could do Saturday evening instead, and she agreed. Then suddenly last night she texts me saying that she'll have to pass on Saturday. No reason and no suggestions for rescheduling. In the meantime, she's messaged almost everyone else she know's on Facebook to make plans with them and is in the process of making them. I'm not sure what I did that she doesn't want to see me. But oh well, this all just falls back into what I'm saying here.

I really need to spend more time on here with you all. At least I feel like I belong here and I don't have to worry about what I say or do. I don't know if any of you feel like I do but this has been something that's been bugging me for a while and I just haven't said anything.

To you married girls out there, do you feel like since you've been married that your single friends really don't talk to you as much as they used to?

I don't know how I'm going to hide this funk from D tonight. He's taking me out because of the way I've been feeling about my birthday. He knows I've been feeling off about everything. He's trying hard to make this an exciting birthday for turning 25.

Food wise I've only been ok. I've been managing to keep HSBQ score at the right level but this weekend was a bit of a bad food fest. I did exercise and work off most of the calories. I didn't eat at all at work but the evenings were filled with wings and soda or wine and rich food. My weight hasn't changed much since wednesday, I'm still at 141. I was hoping to be back below 140 by today but I guess I'll be trying again for that this week.

Anyways, I think I've spent enough time boring the crap out of you all. I miss being on blogger and I miss all of you so so! I promise I'll be on every night posting from here on in!

Food: 20

1 rice cake - 45
1 cup spinach - 5
2 tbs pomegranate seeds - 50
3 pickled beet slices - 15
10 pistachios - 60

Water - 6
5 cups

Exercise - 10
1 hour kinect games

Challenge - 15
Don't Shout
Only water
Stuck to my plans

Day 1 went extremely well. Under 200 cals today and not starving! I can totally do this! I hope I dropped down at least a pound tomorrow when I weigh in!
 
so out of a score of 40 i got 51 so I'm well on my way to getting a perfect score this week

Excitement!

I'm FINALLY back down to 140. And not 140.something-or-other...140 on the nose!! I'm well on my way back down into the 130s!! I know this is great news for the next 4 weeks.

Today D and I are going out around town and buying our first Christmas tree and decrations for the house!! I'm so excited! We bought our first tree ornament this week too! It's a Startbucks cup ornament! lol. We practically live at Starbucks and the one we always go to is where we went for dates when we were first dating, and then we would wait for eachother there while we waited for the other to finish work. Now we just go every morning before work! lol They know us by name and order there and they even gave us a pound of coffee for our house warming! lol So we just thought it was fitting to have that ornament on our tree! lol

We will be getting the "First Christmas" and "First House" ornaments too but I'm still thinking of what the theme/colours of the decorations we will have. I'm thinking mauves and cream or something along those lines :) I figure I'll go all matchy matchy Martha Stewart/Canadian Living until D and I collect ornaments to give the tree that kitchy family feeling :)

So today is going to a be a bit of a worry free day. D and I are planning on seeing Megamind tonight (maybe) so I don't plan on eating during the day but I wont freak out over being surrounded by candy and such at the theatre. This is my last day of being undiciplined and starting tomorrow it will be veggies and fruit or pickled things for sweets. I will be staying under 500 cals no matter what any day for the next 4 weeks. I have dusted off my calorie counter on my iPod so I can keep track of my intake. No late dinners after working late. There is no excuse!

Wish me luck every one!!

Oh, and to my new followers...If I'm not following your blogs, send me a link in the comments of this post and I'll follow you!

HSBQ course outlines

Points system Course (2) Weeks 1 &2


You must get at least 40 points in a day and 205 points in a week.
It is possible to achieve more than 80 points in a day and more than 320 points in a week.
The points you can get are in the list below. Make sure to save the list if you sign up for this course.
Weekends are not included so you must reach your points in 5 days.

FOOD

100-200 cals: 20 points
Liquid Fasting: 15 points
Fasting: 13 points
201-300 cals: 11 points
301-400 cals: 9 points
401-500 cals: 7 points
501-600 cals: 5 points
601-700 cals: 4 points
701-800 cals: 3 points
801-900 cals: 2 points
901-1000 cals: 1 poinst
1000 plus: -3 points

EXERCISE

Hour of activity, e.g. dance running walking etc: 10 points
100 situps: 5 points
24 Repeats of any toning exercise: 5 points
1 min plank: 2 points (click here to see what the plank is)

WATER

9-10 cups: 15 points
8 Cups: 13 points
7 cups: 10 points
6 cups: 8 points
5 cups: 6 points
4 cups: 4 points
3 cups: 2 points
2 cup: 0 points
1 or les cups: -5 points

CHALLENGE

Only drink water: 5 points
Don't shout or argue and be polite: 5 points
Stick to your plans: 5 points
Dress up: 5 points

Tips

Set out your plan at the start of the day, so you know how to get the points you want
Tick off things as you go through them
Walk to college work or school/ where ever to add those extra points


Hit the minimum points at least. You are graded upon the points you hand in on your test, and the homeworks that have been done. The last part of your grade is if you hit the weight loss you intended to hit. Your points should look as follows.

If the course runs for 2 Weeks: 410
If the course runs for 3 weeks: 615
If the course runs for 4 weeks: 820
If the course runs for 5 weeks: 1025

Hard Core Points (3) Weeks 3 & 4
You must get at least 80 points in a day and 450 points in a week.
It is possible to get more than 100 points in a day and more than 500 points in a week.
The points are listed below. If you sign up for this course make sure to copy them.
Weekends are not included.

FOOD

100-200 cals: 25 points
Liquid Fasting: 17 points
Fasting: 15 points
201-300 cals: 13 points
301-400 cals: 10 points
401-500 cals: 9 points
501-600 cals: 8 points
601-700 cals: 4 points
701-800 cals: 3 points
801-900 cals: 2 points
901-1000 cals: 1 poinst
1000-1100: -3 points
1101-1200: -4points
1201-1300: -5points
1301-1400: -6points
1401-1500: -7
1501 and above: -20points

EXERCISE

Hour of activity, e.g. dance running walking etc: 10 points
100 situps: 5 points
12 Repeats of any toning exercise: 5 points

WATER

11+ cups: 30 points
(Please try not to drink more than 15 glasses of water, too much can harm you!)
9-10 cups: 15 points
8 Cups: 10 points
7 cups: 8 points
6 cups: 6 points
5 cups: 5 points
4 cups: 3 points
3 cups: 1 points
2 cup: -3 points
1 or les cups: -10 points

CHALLENGE

Only drink water: 5 points
Get More than 150 points in one day: 5 points

Tips

Set out your plan at the start of the day, so you know how to get the points you want
Tick off things as you go through them
Walk to college work or school/ where ever to add those extra points

Grades
This is graded on the amount of points you receive by the end of the course.
The points by the end of the course will look like this.

If the course runs for 2 weeks: 900
If the course runs for 3 weeks: 1350
If the course runs for 4 weeks: 1800
If the course runs for 5 weeks: 2250

So there you go. There is my 4 week plan starting on Monday. I can't wait! I plan on losing 15lbs in that time! I will get perfect scores every week!! I have the perfect guidelines to do it! woo!

great day

Quick post but...

I did really well today!! I didn't meals today. I had a total of 200 cals from picking at halloween candy while I worked. I had 4 Runtz, 3 fuzzy peach drops and one tube of rockets. At dinner tonight I had two bites of my steak and 5 tortellini (300 cals but I'm probably over calculating but I'd rather over estimate than under). So I'm thinking 500 for the entire day. I haven't had a 500 day in a LONG time!

So funny thing happened to me yesterday!! I got a call from a store I shop at called Marciano. I had supposedly ordered a dress from another store and it had come in. The weird thing was is that I hadn't been in the store in weeks. So I had to go downtown anyways so I thought I might as well go check out the dress. I got to the store and they brought out the dress and I had never seen it in my life. It was my size and everything but I didn't remember ordering it or anything. So anyways...I tried it on and it fit perfectly! OMG it made me look SO skinny!! So, I bought it. There is probably some girl in this city with the same name as me who's going to be pretty angry that their dress never came in! lol! I'll send a pic of the dress later!

Successful shopping expedition!

Hello lovelies!

So I wont be posting my measurements until my period is over. Too much water weight.

So I went out and did some errands today. I went to the bookstore and bought a book on Ashtanga yoga and Sitck Figure: A Diary of My Former Self.

I went to GNC to get more Multivitamins and look at new diet pills and I found this "stack"

It's a thermogenic, performance enhancer, and a CLA supplement.

I'm hoping that this will enhance my calories burned while I'm a work and during my workouts.

I can't wait to read my book on Ashtanga yoga! I wish there was a studio that had classes where I live but the only ones are all the way downtown. So I will be teaching myself how to do it and incorporate it into my morning routine.

I went to lunch with my mom today. It's the first "date" we've had since I got married. It was reallly nice. I had 1/4 cup of seaweed salad and 6 little salmon rolls. I'm going to estimate about 400 cals. I hadn't eaten until lunch and I don't plan on eating more than 100 cals for the rest of the day.

I've signed up at this website called High School Beauty Queen which is set up every month as a "school term" where you do diets. It's a 4 week term where you do a minor and a major (minors are easy and majors are harder). You can do "classes" that count calories or points, focus on exercising, or are flexible  and more generalized. You have to submit "homework" every week updating the site on how you did and they grade you giving you points towards your next "grade level." I hope this helps me stay accountable. I've decided to go with a points system because I find it really hard to keep track of calories. I can set up my days based on my points (food, exercise, water and a challenge) for my minor I have to get at least 40 points a day and 205 points a week (Monday - Friday). My major is I have to get 80 points a day and 450 points a week. I'm pretty excited and I hope I can lose up to 15 lbs by the end of the term. They are "enrolling" right now and the term starts on Nov. 8 and runs until Dec. 3. So just in time for Christmas and New Years. I plan on doing another term in January just in time for my Vacation in February. D and I plan on going somewhere warm so my next term will be an Exercise based major and minor.

You should check it out if you're looking for a new way to track your diets! :)

I will post my "homework" here at the end of every week to keep you all updated on how I'm doing. I will also post the points system later today. :)

.

Blah...

I feel so gross today, I am on the tipping point of my period. My weight has gone up but it is only water and it will definitely be lower in a couple of days.

Today I was decently good. I had a small brocolli salad today. I ate around the bacon and only had half the dressing. I calculated approximately 400 cals for both my breakfast and lunch together. I did go out for dinner with D but for the first time in a LONG time I left food on my plate. We didn't order a starter OR dessert. I had lamb with brocolli (can you tell I'm coming to my time of month. I know it's a weird craving but it could be worse!) and mashed potatoes. I didn't eat my potatoes and ate half the brocolli and half the lamb. I'm going to just guess and say 800 since the restaurant doesn't post their calorie content. So for a date day 1200 cals.

So with my cals burned for the day:

Standing 7 hrs = 529 cals
Walking 1 hr = 277 cals

Total cals burned = 806 cals

so I have just under 400 cals left over for the day. Unfortunately I wont be able to burn those off before I go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day. But today wasn't bad.

Tomorrow I will stick to tea all day. I plan on buying a tumbler for my coffee and tea and keep it at the counter with me all  day and just constantly fill it up with tea and coffee. I'm thinking of buying a continigo (sp?) this awesome thermos mug that has a button to open the sippy part and you have to keep holding it down or it seals up again. This stops it from spilling if it gets knocked over. I've only heard great things about these mugs! I can't wait to get one!! yay!

When my period ends next week I will be taking new measurements and I will have settled into my routine  and starting the gym for good again. I will also be going to yoga once a week on Sundays.

I know I can do this because I have done so well over the last 8 months. It's been a slow process but I've made so much progress. 20 lbs. I know a lot of you girls have been more successfull with how quickly you've lost but I have found that I just gain it back harder when I lose it faster. I've been trying to loose quickly but not more than what will be permanent for myself.

My week has pretty much consisted of small snack items during my day at work. no more than 250 cals and then a small dinner. I haven't been going past 500. I'm going to start looking into the quality of food I've been eating to see if that's been stunting my loss.

I know my posts have not been the best lately and I want to appologize and I really will make sure things will get better again.

Blah

Hello to my new followers if I haven't welcomed you here yet! I'm sorry I haven been as frequent with my posts.

I'm FINALLY at 140, but we'll see how long that lasts. I haven't mad it to the gym but I have been packing groceries for the last 5 days straight. I'm sitting at work right now waiting for my shift to start. All I've had today was a whole grain bagel. Toasted. I really don't feel like working today. I have a huge migraine and can barely see straight. It's just noon now and I work until 9. I don't think ill last. I'm drinking water and I'm going to see if I can get some tylenol or something to help me out.

All I want to do today is get back into my pj's and curl up on the couch in a big fuzzy blanket and watch tv or play video games.

Anyways, lovelies, I have to go swipe in and start my shift. I will try to post again soon.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Set up for success

So bought my vacuum last night!! I got a Dyson DC21 and I LOVE it! It sucked up so much crap we had to empty the canister 5 times!!!

So today I'm setting up for success. I have 2 white cheddar rice cakes (90 cals) and 1 measured serving of dry cereal (130 cals). So I am only going to have 220 cals before 730 (might be going for dinner with the mum in law before she heads back to newfoundland this week.) But I don't plan on eating all that I have with me. Its just incase I need the energy while I'm at work.

I'm still sitting steady. No gain but by the weekend I plan on being under 140...well ideally under 138. Working packing groceries and walking around should definitely help with that! Plus I'm going to try to throw in a trip or two to the gym to speed things up!

Anyways, time to go to work. I'll update during one of my breaks.

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

building a home

is a lot of work. I have spent my entire morning shopping for vacuum cleaners. Trying to find the best vacuums for the best prices. I have to say, I`m actually kind of excited to buy my first vacuum!!

So weight wise I`m still hovering around 141. I was up as high as 144 this week but it wasn`t long lasting at all. I just have to make sure our cooking isn`t filled with oil and butter. I`ve also been kicking it up on the water.

Today I had 1/2 cup of seaweed salad. With the dressing, I'm estimating around 200 cals. I have to say it's better than the McDonald's I was craving. All I wanted was something savoury so it did the trick. I think 200 is WAY better than 1000 in one sitting. I also had a coffee with some skim milk in it too today (20 cals) so I think I'm on the right track for the day.

For dinner tonight I plan on making D a portabello mushroom burger and I will just have the mushroom cooked with some veggies no bun or sauce or cheese.

I am beginning to get back into a routine and shortly I will be starting to clean the house from top to bottom. this includes: sweeping, mopping, folding, dusting, moving, breaking down boxes etc...I plan on getting this house spotless and all boxes broken down and organized in the garage! I hope this will help me burn some calories.

http://www.healthstatus.com/cgi-bin/calc/calculator.cgi says I should burn roughly the following calories with the activities i will be doing today.

Activity Calories burned


Putting away Groceries 56
Mopping 72
Cooking 113
Shopping 228
Sitting / resting 271
Housework 558

Total Calories Burned 1,298

I think that's a good amount for the day. That means so fart i have a calorie deficit of -1000. yay!


I plan on having only 200 more calories today to make a maximum of 400. Well I'm off to start the cleaning and I still have tons to do before I leave in 3 hours to pick D up from work.
 
Sorry I haven't been posting frequently!! Just been busy making my house a home!!

slow on the uptake

Hey all!

I know I said I would be posting my intake every day to be more accountable, but I've just been beat from my new job.

But I'm happy to say that for the first time in a long time, I've managed NOT to eat until 7 pm for the first time in EVER!! I only had 2 coffees a lot of water and my 0 cal lifesaver icebreaker sours!! yay!! I'm so happy! However, D cooked a gourmet steak dinner tonight. I think it may have put me back to square one. I am moving a lot at work and making sure to do squats when I bend to pick something up so I'm at least working my muscles.

Tomorrow, I'll be able to get out of eating 100% let's hope I can do it! I'll be driving D to work and then going to the gym for 2 hours (I'm thinking 1 hour bike and 1 hour weights) then I'm working from 12:30 to 9. So D will be no where near me for 12 WHOLE HOURS!!! w00t!

My goal is to be a size 27 jean by the end of the month. I'm teetering just over that size. Tomorrow mronign i'll also be taking my measurements and posting them before I go to the gym (or at least while I'm on the bike via my BlackBerry). Hopefully I'll either see something the same as the wedding or smaller! I am coming close to my period but hopefully I wont be bloated quite yet.

I can't wait to give you all good news (hopefully)  tomorrow morning!!

Miss you all but I am staying updated with you all on my BlackBerry.

Keep it up everyone!!!

20 Followers!

Hello everyone!

So.

Here I am on Sunday morning blogging and watching my husband play Fallout3.

Yesterday was great. I ended up not taking my morning yoga classes and I just did my cardio. I did 15 mins on the eliptical and then 75 mins on the recumbant bike (a total of approximately 886 cals burned(. My legs were a little like jelly after all that. I went shopping with T after the gym and met up for coffee with a friend of hers too. It was a lot of fun but nothing fit me well and I felt like a blimp in everything I tried on. Needless to say I didn't buy anything except for new diet pills. (RapidCuts).

I came home and cooked D dinner and then got ready to go out for a night of dancing. I had bought myself a bottle of wine but couldn't bring myself to drink it. I stayed sober the entire night for fear of consuming too many calories. I had to call the night short because my legs were in so much pain from the cardio. I left the club and went back to T's place and waited for D to pick me up. By the time he got there, I was in so much pain my body was convulsing. The only thing that seemed to be able to relax my muscles was a lot of heat. I came home crawled into bed and took a pain killer and some omega-3 oil pills. I fells asleep pretty quickly once the pain killer kicked in

Today is a day filled with errands and chores (yay). I have to go to my parents' this afternoon and do our laundry and then we are having my dad's birthday dinner. My mom is making (and please forgive my spelling) veiner schnitzel, potatoes (boiled and pan fried with onions) and some other various carb stacked foods. My dad is a bigger carb lover than I am. It's his uber comfort food. I had breakfast and that's all I'll be having until dinner tonight at about 8 or so.

So my weight is still at 142 but I think my measurements are coming back to where they were before the wedding. The gym yesterday helped with that. Tomorrow on my day off I think I'll work my upper body and abs. I'm not sure if I'll go to the gym but I might just do a P90X video or something. Depends on how far my legs will be able to carry me.

Nedt week will be a week filled with restriction. I will eat breakfast on the days I work later in the day but then I wont eat anything until I get home in the evenings and that will be very little in itself. I plan on eating no more than 500 cals each day at a maximum, but I need to make sure I burn off at least 500 at work each day to negate what I consume. If my calories are less in a day then even better. I'm going to start logging down what I'm eating to make myself more accountable for what I'm putting into myself and I can make better decisions since I will be reporting to you all every day (or as often as I can get infront of a computer).

Bye for now everyone! wish me luck with tonight!!!

3.5 more hours until I’m done with this job. It’s just unfortunate that I can’t tell everyone to F off and leave my work and desk a mess. The person picking up after me for my biggest project is the only person I like in my department so I have to at least make it as easy as a transition for her after I leave.


Tonight I’m doing a kundalini yoga class and tomorrow morning is ashtanga and yin. Then I’m going to the gym and hanging out with T. So I’ll be quite active over the next 24 hours and I’ll be fasting in the meantime until dinner. The only reason I’m breaking the fast at dinner time tomorrow is because I’ll be drinking tomorrow night and I don’t want to get absolutely plastered and sick. I won’t be having anything big but just enough to give myself a base.

I have to call the warehouse at 2:30 to find out what my schedule next week will be. I’ll try to post more for you all this weekend and let you know how Saturday night goes~!

142.6


Ew ew ew ew ew !!!!!! EW!

36 hour fast starting this morning. So far just a coffee and diet pills. I can get away with it with D around because this evening at “dinner time” we will be get our hair cut. My hair takes over an hour to do so I can send him away when he’s done and then not have to eat. Tomorrow I won’t be home at all and I’ll be going straight to a yoga class after work tomorrow and then out and about shopping possibly for Halloween costumes. I know this fast is only a day and a half but I’m going to take baby steps just incase I need to stop it tomorrow (there is the possibility that I will be taken out for lunch by my office). I do, however, plan on fasting until Saturday at about 7 or so because I will be drinking (so small amount of food because of the alcohol I’ll be consuming and to fend off a drinking binge). I hope I can get back into the 130s by early next week!!

The walking to the bus stop will be fantastic for me too. It’s about 10 mins to the first stop and then a 10 min walk to the warehouse from the bus stop (busses where I live SUCK) so 20 mins of walking EVERY DAY that I can’t get out of or else I would lose my job. Then standing for 8 hours. I’ll be burning approx (this is very much an approximation) 852 cals on top of my BMR and even before I go to the gym at all! So I’ll be losing SO MUCH as long as I can manage to keep my intake low low low!

I’m the worst faster in the world. I’m only a couple hours in and I’m already getting light headed, dizzy and tummy growls. Anyone have any ways of not having this happen so early in the game? I have water and coffee and tea and in case of emergencies a bottle of orange juice (to keep blood sugar in check). Hopefully these feelings will go away soon and I can get on with my day. It’s pretty distracting when all you’re doing in sitting in one spot doing data entry. I have a spreadsheet of over 300 rows and input all the information into this software that helps build coupons.

I’m also waiting for my boss to come in so I can tell him what choice I’ve made for this “transfer”. What do you all think…do you think he’ll tell me just to take tomorrow off and not come in?? I’ll take one day without pay before changing jobs!! Yay!

Well I’ve run out of things to say…if I think of more I’ll add to this post…

So it’s official.


I have my options of positions to step down to. Now it’s just a case of picking. I have the choice of A scale cashier or B scale clerk. The A scale position is a higher pay but with having to bus across town (2-3 hours depending on traffic and transfers) will cost me more than the difference between A and B scale. So it’s pretty much safe to assume that I will be taking the closer B scale position.

I’ll be able to wear a bit nice clothes too because I wont be dealing with dirty registers and carts and I will have less of a chance of food spilling on me and less chances for wear. However, I will have to buy better shoes and some boots to walk in the snow in the coming months.

Wish me luck everyone in looking for a new job and moving up the ranks in my new position really quickly.

I’ve had 300 cals today and since D is cooking back at home who knows how many I’ll be expected to eat tonight. I am not, however, going to gorge on sweets and treats while I laze about the house this evening.

Now I just need to find a bauble or band for my finger while I’m at work so I don’t lose my ring. Mind you, I won’t be on cash so chances are I won’t lose my wedding ring by getting it bumped off by packing groceries. I would just have to put it away if I DID go on cash. I’m trying to save money in any way possible….

This weekend’s outing out to the clubs will be really nice and I’ll be celebrating leaving this oppressive office and working in a fun environment again! Yay!

Want to know what’s great about an empty wallet?? NO TRIPS TO THE VENDING MACHINE! Woo!

Anyways I think I’m going to TRY to work for my last few days…but if it ACTUALLY happens I’ll be quite surprised…

Thank you for all your support.


I’m usually such a positive person (as per previous posts). This funk and self-loathing are so foreign to me. I rarely have feelings like this and I don’t know how to overcome them.

I’m so unmotivated to do anything whatsoever. All I have the desire for is to either sleep or just do hours upon hours of yoga hoping that I can get rid of all this negative energy. I want to sweat out these bad feelings and push way these bad thoughts. I’m finding myself falling into my habits of eating for comfort. Last night I found myself just eating pistachios without even realize what I was doing. I almost ate a whole bowl full before I realized that I had just sat down and devoured it all. I couldn’t even bare to look at the nutritional information for fear that I would go and purge. I refuse to do that and I don’t want to have anything trigger. This mood/funk is really becoming a problem.

I don’t know how to explain this to D. I feel like he wouldn’t understand. I hate making him feel helpless and I hate making myself look like I’m weak.

The only thing about being so upset at work is that I have no appetite, just some liquids to keep up my blood sugar and some gum to chew on to keep my mouth occupied.

I almost told my supervisor where to shove it this morning when I came into work. I’m so sick of his constant picking and micromanaging and then making me look like I don’t know anything and I can’t learn because he’s hovering over me so much that I have no room to learn anything. He says that I have things to do and while I’m waiting for the information he goes ahead and does it for me because he’s impatient (I’m waiting for information that he’s supposed to give me) and then my boss says that he does too much for me and I’ve mentioned in meetings (jokingly) that if he keeps doing these tasks for me I wont have any work to do. But, I guess people don’t see past the fact that he kisses their ass so much that his brown nose is now black.

D said that if he ever sees my supervisor out at a bar he’s going punch him out. I’ve never seen D so protective of me and I kind of like it because I would love to see him just get owned. Lol

Honestly I swear I’m not this vindictive and violent but I just wish bad upon this guy like you wouldn’t believe.

Any of you have any ideas on how I can channel this energy into something good?

4 days and counting.


4 days until I am out of this hell-hole.

4 days until I can start working towards contentment.

4 days until I begin a physical laborious job. Lifting and squatting and twisting and bending; all the while with a smile on my face.

Hours until I find out where they are going to put me.

Hours until I find out if my life is going to be convenient still or if my life is going to be turned on its head because I have to travel to the other side of the city just to be a cashier.

Hours until I officially dust off my resume and begin applying to jobs.

Hours until I break the news to my parents that their little girl no longer works the convenient Monday to Friday job.

4 days until my last full weekend without request.

4 days until my life changes.

I don’t know how I am going to react to the change. I hope that my superiors realize that I will not be able to be a flexible employee if they make me travel for such a long time across the city (2-3 hour trip by bus depending on transfers).

All I know is that once I start working at the warehouse again I will be standing for 8 hours and moving for 8 hours. I know I will trim up and lose some weight. The only thing I have to worry about is not giving in to the pizza and fries that will be a matter of feet away from where I’m standing every single day.

We brought the cat back home and I’m finding myself trying to win the cat’s affection. My whole weekend has been obsessed with how happy the cat is. I’m not sure why I’m trying to appease and cater to an animal like I am. Yearning for affection from it. I’ve been needy lately and I’m not sure why. I’m getting more than enough attention from D but I’m craving love, I’m searching for acceptance and I feel like I’m falling short; like I’m not living up to some sort of expectations that even I don’t know what they are. D says I’ve changed. Is it post wedding depression? Is it home-sickness? Is it too much change in a short period of time?

I really don’t know.

The scale keeps going up. Every morning it just taunts me that no matter what I do I will never achieve anything. I wont amount to anything. I don’t have control over anything. No matter what I do, I can’t get what I want.

I’m done with this job. I’m not even doing work anymore. I have my browser set to blogger and Google Books. I’m reading excerpts from Wasted. Anything is better than what my life is at right now. I just want to detach myself from life and just meld into another world. I wish I had the X-box hooked up right now. I’d just immerse myself into the world of video games and never come back. I’d live vicariously through whatever character was on the screen at that time. But that’s not reality; it’s not acceptable to live like that.

Maybe I just need to go out and get really drunk. I haven’t had a good drunk in a long time. But Drunk TK = binge eating. No matter what’s available I always eat. Heck at my bachelorette party I ate probably half a pound of boiled beets. Thankfully there was no butter or salt or sugar on them so they were clean but still I ate so many beets that my pee was pink for days afterwards.

Anyways, 4 hours until the day ends and 4 hours until this job ends.

Update

Hello.

So I didn't have a doughnut or the thanksgiving buffet but I did have some crackers and hummus. The 8 diet pills and the 5 cups of coffee were eating away at my stomach.

So that was probably 300 cals. Great thing is though D is working late and I'm home alone! Woo! I'm going to do a yoga video and have water all night while I unpack! Yay!

I'm at starbucks right now waiting for my 6th coffee (I'm a glutton for punishment I know) and this fat chick just ordered a venti double sweet double whip salted caramel hot chocolate. I almost puked in my mouth. Ew gross. I'm glad I'm not that much of a fattie. I think I might try something out tonight. Remember how yesterday I said my measurements were down but weight was up? Well as I unpack I'm going to try on clothes I haven't worn in years and see how they fit. Same goes with my fat clothes. I'm going to mark my progress. Maybe post some photos too.

Until then think thin lovelies!
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Thinking I need to hold myself more accountable

Well yesterday was a bit more of a success. I had roughly 800 cals yesterday. D cooked dinner while I was at work and we split a rib steak (he had cooked one for each of us but I made him pack up the other steak). I ate half of my potatoes and salad. The bulk of my calories was dinner and my morning muffin. I had no juice only water and coffee for the rest of the day.


Today is liquids all day. No meals. It is now just before 10 am and I haven’t had a bite to eat yet. Just my morning coffee and I’m getting ready to have my second cup of the day. I brought tea with me today as well just incase I want something with a bit more flavour. I have also already taken 3 diet pills so far this morning and I will be taking one every 2 hours until I leave work. I am determined not to eat anything at all today.

My mother-in-law is in surgery right now to remove a tumor from her optic nerve so I don’t think I will be able to make it to the gym this evening. She will be in recovery or even home as the hospital has deemed the surgery “day surgery.” D wants to see her once she’s recovered from the anesthesia so I may be even leaving work early (which is a big bonus! Starting my long weekend early!). I’ll be able to skip dinner though  I can easily turn down hospital food  yay! I am nervous about this afternoon though. I have a meeting to go to and my department has ordered doughnuts and coffee and various other snacks. I hope I will be able to resist the temptation of the sweet sticky confectionaries that will be laid out for everyone. I know I can just have the coffee but the cups are so tiny that it’s awkward to get up constantly to refill your cup. I might just bring my own coffee or tea into the meeting and sip on that.

My project right now that I’m working on involves photos of products. I am working with a photographer right now to take pictures of samples of product. Unfortunately all of the products are food. The clothes and house-wares are all images so my desk is covered in food stuffs. I got rid of a whole bunch yesterday but now I have juice boxes and tortellini sitting right beside me on my desk. I’m trying to chug back water so I will fill my stomach and not think about all the food that’s around me. I don’t know why my mind is so focused on food today. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m calculating over and over and over again calories in everything I see. The test kitchen is baking right now and it smells like cookies in my department. It’s driving me crazy.

I can’t wait for tomorrow to immerse myself in unpacking and setting up my house and just not think about eating at all! I plan on sleeping in, and then going to the gym (sans breakfast only coffee and pills) then come home and move boxes build a bed and mount curtains. Then I’m going to put away all my clothes and go out and run errands and make sure we have everything we need to clean the house.

I had my health check for my life insurance yesterday and they took my height and weight and measurements. I wasn’t too impressed. I had to be weighed fully clothed (I never stand on a scale with anything on my body) and after I had drank about 3 litres of water for my urine sample (sorry for the TMI). I was up at 144 and my waist measurement was taken OVER my clothes which as horrendous! I felt so fat! D is so skinny I’m super jealous of him. He’s 5’9 and only 159 lbs. that’s 15 lbs heavier than me! I was 159 just before I started this blog! I weighed jus as much as my husband and more at one point too!

So I went to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee and today’s “menu” is a Thanksgiving buffet. Note to self: do not leave desk between 11:30 and 2:00 with anything more than $1 in your pocket. Buffet = extreme diet danger. It’s bad enough I will be immersed into gluttony on Monday the last thing I need is work waving the exact same type of meal in my face (with WAY more calories since they’re cooking for more people…more butter, more cream, more fat, more oil, more sugar all to preserve and make everything perfectly brown and shiny and “appealing” to eat. No thank you, I will skip going anywhere near the cafeteria in the next little bit.

I have my water and my coffee. No one can get between me and skinny. I need to be back in the 130s. I hate myself for jumping back up after my success. I think posting that I reached my goal of 137 jinxed me and my weight was like F*** You! *Sigh* Oh well…I will drop this. I feel that this yo-yo-ing is just like a bitch slap to the face and makes me feel like a huge failure and I can’t even control my own body. Everything is changing except the one thing I really want to change.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

So this is my second long post in a row…I guess this is what happens when I don’t blog for a while, I just start writing and I can’t stop. I’m doing this in a Word document right now at work and every time something pops into my head I have to write it down.

I need to hold myself more accountable for my actions. I can’t have these bounces back and forth anymore. Anyone have any ideas how I can be more disciplined? I need to eat less especially around D. He’s the worst to hide stuff from he’s starting to ask a lot of questions. Help?

I haven't disappeared!

Well hello everyone. I have missed you all. This has been one whirlwind of a week.


I’m officially moved into my new house now (I wont have pictures until all my furniture is delivered and set up. We bought all our main pieces of furniture from this awesome store called EQ3. It’s a Canadian store that does “custom” condo furniture. Basically you pick the piece of furniture (the basic structure) and then you can pick your upholstery. They have somewhere around 50 different colours and textures to choose from. Then they make your furniture to order. So you basically get custom furniture for a relatively decent price. We got really lucky for ourselves because we were invited to one of their VIP events where everything was 20% off. So we furnished our dining/living room, basement and bedroom. I’ve put links to the pieces we got you can see them (here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here).

We’re still in the process of unpacking everything and finding a place for all of our stuff. D and I realized that we’re book addicts. We have 12 boxes of just books. 12!!!!

On other news, I’m being “demoted” from my job here in the office. It was a shock to me back on Friday but after talking to D about it, it’s definitely going to make me happier. I’m not getting fired I’m just being put back to the warehouse 1) because supposedly I’m “not mature enough” for a salary position according to my boss 2) I have better customer relation skills and I will thrive in that environment better than here 3) I have more opportunities for growth within the company. My boss may seem a bit like a dick but really it’s all about business to him and putting his employees where they will do their best. Plus I have been missing the hustle and bustle of a warehouse and the constant movement. Well I’ll put it out there exactly who I work for since all this “warehouse” stuff could be confusing. I work for Costco. In the office I do marketing pieces for the entire country and I even did the pieces for a warehouse opening in August and in the warehouse I will probably be a cashier or a membership clerk. The great thing is that with my accumulated hours, I will only be taking a small pay cut and I will be a year and a half from top pay (as a full time employee you get a raise every 6 months) but I have all the qualifications to be a supervisor in about 6 months once I get back on my feet so that would put me at the same rate of pay I am at now.

Anyways, all things Costco aside, this change will now let me look for a job that is a bit more suited to my education and goals. Having one weekday off every week will make interviews a bit easier to get to without having to take time off work. I can switch a shift without anyone getting suspicious. So I’ll be applying to jobs for the next little while and I hope that someone will have an interest in my skills and call me for an interview. We’ll see.

So, on my progress. The last time I posted I was down in the highish 130s. I guess with all the stress and my period I’m back up to 140. (My parents’ scale could also be reading wrong since it’s a dial scale). I bought a new scale 2 days ago and it’s actually a really good one. It’s by Taylor and it has a body analyzer and shows you your BMI and body fat %. My weight might be up but my measurements are down since before the wedding. So that’s good! My stomach is actually flat-ish! I’ve overcome bloating and now just have to work on numbers.

Today I have had 3 diet pills and currently drinking my coffee. I have had half a muffin because D bought me one and I nibbled on it on the way to work. I don’t plan on eating lunch and if I do it will only be 1 or 2 pickled beets (15 cals each) or a pickle (7 cals). I will pick at dinner and just have coffee and juice (only to bring up my blood sugar if needed) until then. I am starting tomorrow (finally) at the gym. I work across the street from one, and I live around the corner from another. So I have absolutely no excuse not to go. I plan on going Saturday and Sunday morning so I can get a good head start and fend off the horror of Thanksgiving dinner on Monday. Monday’s menu includes:

Cheese
Cured meats
Paté
Crackers
Bread
Turkey
Stuffing (bread, sausage, apples, onions, celery and spices)
Salad
Potatoes
Turnip
Brussel sprouts
Gravy

And for dessert, my mom is also making Tiramisu. All I can say is that it will be a very heavily calorie laden day. I don’t plan on eating anything until I get to my parents’ and I am going to try to avoid eating before dinner is served. It will be a scary day. I know most of the stuff isn’t “horrible” food but cover everything in grease, butter, sugar, oil and the such and it becomes very unsafe.

So here’s to new beginnings and to really starting fresh. Job front may suck for a bit but because I’ll be constantly moving and lifting and walking I’ll shed weight quickly and reach my goals faster. Not sitting at a desk will be fantastic!

I am going to try to post and comment more often, just it’s been hard with D around a lot but once my computer is set up I will be able to comment and post a little more freely and keep you lovelies updated constantly.

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So, THIS was my plan for consumption today. Let's just say this didn't happen. 1 fajita and a salad later I feel like a pig...I'm skipping dinner. I've decided to "be sick" tonight.

I can't wait to get into my house. D and I haven't had 'any' since the honeymoon. We're at out wits end.
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
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So I'm a Dolt...

I have been reading my dial scale totally wrong...not sure how I managed this...but I'm not in the 140s I've actually broken 135 and I was at 134 yesterday...I'm back up to 137 today because of some bloating and indegestion from last night (Mom's birthday dinner more about that further down). I think maybe these blonde highlights might need to go! lol

Last night we went out for my mom's 50th birithday. We went to an Italian place and really the only option was pasta. So I suffered the worst indegestion and bloating last night. It's starting to go down but I looked pregnant this morning! I couldn't believe it and I couldn't do my jeans up!

So my weight is on the right track and I have my friend T planning out a workout program for me for the next 3 months. She's the one who's doing the fitness competition (the heath nut). So I should see a lot of progress in the next bit. 120 here I come! hopefully I'll get down to a size 2 or 4 by then (Canadian/American sizes)!!

Ugh I'm so sick I feel like I have the Plague!

This is the worst first day back at work ever! :p 2 hours until I can escape and see the doctor for some drugs to kill this bug. I've just been having tea and water today along with dayquil. I did have some spinach, beets and tomatoes for lunch to get some vitamins to help kick it but i'm going to need the good stuff from the doctor to get rid of this. I think it's moved from my head to my chest and is turning into bronchitis. great thing to have when you have to go sign a whole bunch of paperwork and contracts early the next morning eh?

oh well just thought I would update you lovelies on my goings on. being sick is helping me stick to my plan. haven't broken 150 cals yet so this is a good thing. oh and all my jeans are hanging off of me yay!

Back to Reality: Confessions, updates, plans and photos

Hello all my lovelies!

I am back from my wedding and and honeymoon! I am now officially a Mrs.!

So everything was great for the wedding. I was thin svelte and I looked fantastic in my dress! The day was beautiful and I barely ate a thing! I had a couple veggies during the day, and then a bite from each course during the evening. I think all in all I probably consumed 600 calories that day (the cake had butter creme icing and was very very dense and I did have a few glasses of wine and some drinks).
So the day was fantastic in itself and it really was one of the happiest days of my life!

The day after we left for Paris on our honeymoon and those 10 days were absolutely stunning! We would wake up every day at about 10 and leisurely get ready to leave for about noon. Then we would walk around for the next 6 hours (stopping for a lunch at about 2ish) and then come back get ready for dinner then head out for 8pm reservations. Now here's the confession part. I totally just threw everything out of the window during the past 10 days. I'm back up to 140 because of it. Since we were eating out every day I ate a lot of food and a lot of not the greatest for you food. It was all amazing to taste though. We splurged on a few restaurants but we also found this great website click here that you make your reservations through and the restaurants will occasionally do special offers like blind tasting menus with wine pairings (le 6 new york) or 30%-50% off the bill (Mood or Anthracite). So if any of you happen to go to Paris and if you do end up eating check out the first link for ways to save money on 4-5 star restaurants. I also ate a lot of bread cheese and cured meats. I do know that those will never be the same for me back here in Canada. So better avoid them than be constantly disappointed in things not tasting as good.

We did the whole tour thing of Paris. We saw the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Luxembourg Palace, the Panthéon, the Arc de Triomphe, Versailles, the Grand and Petit Trianon and Marie Antoinette's Hamelt and estates. It was absolutely stunning!

Did you know that walking at a moderate pace for 8 hours a day burns up to 2000 calories? So I think I managed to keep the worst of the food off but I'm not where I should be. I think another reason why I gained is that I did not have a BM for the 10 days I was there. The day after I came back I started flushing myself out. Did a laxie tea and I'm back on my diet pills so things are bit more regular. Let's see how I fare once I really get back into my routine.

So after all the sight seeing D and I did what everyone should do in Paris...SHOP! lol I only left Paris with one thing. A gorgeous blue purse from Marc by Marc Jacobs. I decided to take all my shopping money and just buy one really special thing rather than a whole bunch of little things I could have bought back here in Canada.

I absolutely LOVE it!!! I have been obsessed with purses lately. I just can't get enough of them. I go on benders of either purses or shoes. They're my weakness!

So the plan for me today is liquids only (until dinner my dad is getting back from a business trip) and then one meal every day starting monday. Things will definitely get a lot easier once I get into my new place. Hiding not eating will be easier too. I have to redevelop my routine after being kicked out of it for so long. 

So I get my house on Tuesday next week! I'm super excited! I can't wait! The last few days have been full of meetings with the bank and the lawyers and furniture stores and drawing up budgets and transferring funds from account to account for the bank etc...and today I get to go negotiate insurance premiums!! Woo! :p

Speaking of which I should get dressed and go do that! lol

Bye!!

Blessed

Hello my lovelies!

I'm sorry I've been so extremely M.I.A this last little bit!!! Wedding prep and such. I can't believe I have only 2 more days to go! Everything is pretty much ready and set that it's just pampering time from here on in!

Today I went and got my underarms waxed for the first time EVER! Can I just say OW? I wasn't able to put my arms at my sides for hours it stung so much! I also got my nails done. I had them Shelaked (sp?)!! They look awesome! I also had my eyebrows done so I'm all set for the weekend! Tomorrow I have my detoxifying body wrap and then the last minute errands. After all the running around my besties are arriving in town and my cousins and we're off to the rehearsal and rehearsal party after that! Such busy days I can't keep up! lol

The only good thing about these busy days is that I'm forgetting to put something in my stomach. Seriously forgetting. I had a couple bites of a biscuit my mom baked fresh this morning and then I had only water until dinner tonight and i had 2 beets a mouthful of salad and a bite of steak. Even that little was hard to put down, but my dad is obsessing that I eat enough over the next few days so I don't pass out at the ceremony. I'm not minding this not really feeling the need to eat. My dress fits great and I couldn't really ask for more. Everyone is commenting on how great I look and with the wrap tomorrow it's supposed to slim me up even more! Can't wait!

I bought a new shirt yesterday from Aritiza. It's for my "Escaping" outift when I head off to the airport. It's slouchy with a hole in the back. very comfy looking and will look adorable with my new brown boots! yay!

So everything is all set for my house at the end of the month! The bank is settled and everything is saved up! OMG! My grandparents gave me my wedding present tonight and they gave me money towards my down-payment. Not a loan but a gift! It was $10K! I was like WTF? I don't deserve this at all! I have the money for the house and this is just THAT much more! I cried like a little baby. I was so grateful for the help. I am seriously blessed by the greatest grandparents ever. I didn't need it but it was their way of blessing my marriage and helping me start my new life without being in debt. I am still on a high from this. I don't even know what to write in their Thank You card when I get back from my honeymoon!

I can't wait to post pictures for you all when I get back! I really hope my day goes off without any problems and I'm super excited for Paris! I just hope I lose more with all the walking I'll be doing around the city plus other calorie burning activities *wink wink*! I don't want to come back with extra weight other than the stuff I jam pack into my suitcases from all the shopping I'll be doing! lol

Stay lovely my lovelies~! I'll try to post again tomorrow before the day is through to let you know how my wrap went!

LAST DAY OF WORK!!!

Yay!

so here's an awesome post of some thinspo for you ladies! Check this out the only thing that kind of saddened me is that this is what guys love. The post is called "the definition of awesome." Enough said. Oh well more reason to strive towards "awesome"

So everything is booked at the spa but I missed out on the Hydrotherapy tub treatment, oh well I still have until the end of the year to use it. I have 3.5 hours left of work and I'm SUPER excited!!!

Oh so did you know that yesterday was 90210? (September 2, 2010). Kind of funny (for all you non-North Americans or people too youn to know this 90210 was a TV show back in the 90s and now they did a "continuation" in the last year. Kind of copied Degrassi if I would say so myself but ya.) That definitely made me laugh :)

So today all I've had has been coffee and water and 2 doses of my diet pills. I'm super hyper and I can't concentrate on any one thing for too long. I need to get out of here ASAP. I am almost done packing up the apartment and I will be moving all the boxes tomorrow evening. I hope the lack of extreme humidity when I get to my parent's place clears my skin up quickly so I can survive the next week without looking like a pizza.

So I've decided to go get a facial done early next week to combat this skin. Unfortunately I had to ask my mom to pay because money is so tight. I felt really bad for asking, but this is what I'm getting:

medicated clearing facial

This face treatment helps repair and heal problem and congested skin to reduce unwanted shine, refine the pores, treat skin breakouts and restore skin balance. Deep cleansing followed by extractions and completed with medicated serums draw out skin impurities. $95 / 60 min

I'm planning on also doing a slimming body wrap:

monticelli fango wrap

A reducing and purifying treatment based on the use of soft, creamy mud and Italian thermal waters. This wrap is slimming and detoxifying. $100 / 60 mins

I also get a free hydrotherapy tub treatment which will be really cool too!! I'm booking all this for tuesday so I can't wait to try it all out!! yay!!



So I'll be able to have a clear face this weekend. We've paid our next installment on the photographer and we pay the final bit when he posts the photos for our viewing. I still have to sort out what we are going to print for the wedding at the guest table.

Today so far all I've had has been coffee and 1/2 an egg white. We had a department breakfast so I kinda munched on that. But It's just been water other wise. I'm due for my next dose of my diet pills so that will really negate the egg.

So packing starts tonight. We have our boxes and the packing tape and a spot in the living room to put the boxes until we're ready to move it back to my parent's house. Things are finally starting to smooth out and next week basically consists of visiting and pampering :) yay!

I'll post later since my lunch hour is over and I want to grab a coffee before it's too late!!

2 days left of work!

Woo so excited!

So this new stats feature is really cool. I didn't realize that my blog has been viewed so many times! I didn't think I generated this much traffic. I do wish, however, more of those people followed :( oh well! beggars can't be choosers! I just like the traffic flow! woo!

So I'm getting married in 10 days! I can't believe it! It's actually happening!

I have to say my eating hasn't been 100% great these last few days. I've just been in too good of a place to really care how much but i've definitely been eating right. I haven't gone over 1000 cals but it's definitely been more than what i wanted. Tomorrow and Friday I plan on only consuming liquids during the day and have some veggies for dinner before i start packing up the apartment.

I have my makeup trial on Saturday but I need to see if I can fit in a facial at some point. I'm not sure why but my skin has errupted like crazy this past week. I haven't had skin like this since high school! I don't want these zits the day of the wedding! omg! anyone have any ideas on what i should do to try to clear up my skin?

I've been maintaing this week at about 138/9 so i'm pretty happy. I need to book spa days to prep for the wedding. I have to do the whole waxing, and body treatment stuff. on top of that i have to pay the photographer and finalize the songs with the DJ.

I can't wait to get out of this apartment. I know I'll be living with my parents again for about 10 days or so but so worth it with the end result being my own house!!!!

Even with all the stuff that's going on I just don't feel that I have much to write about and I'm sorry. I just wanted to update everyone on where I have been. Sorry for the disjointed post. So tomorrow mostly liquids and some veggies and same for friday. Saturday is again on my own and easy to not eat and same with Sunday. My parents are at a wedding all weekend and dave has his bachelor party. liquids liquids and liquids!! yay!

I'll post a picture of my hair and makeup on Saturday. I'll do a phone post!

I'll write tomorrow. If anyone has any skin tips I'd love the help!!!

I've been lazy...

Hey all!

Sorry for not blogging for the last few days this week. I've been just so drained from work that I'm in bed by 7 most nights. I do have some good news though! I am FINALLY 139 again! Woo!

Stress + early nights = not eating + losing weight.

I guess I just need to keep myself in a permanent state of uber pissed off stress to lose the res of this weight. But I think that's worse for my body than just starving...we'll see.

So tonight I have a girl date with an old coworker of mine. We're going to this place called play (www.playfood.ca) and it's a restaurant of mini sharing plates. I haven't eaten all day except for some G2 and half a tomato. I have also taken 2 doses of my diet pills so ill be cafinated and I will have a higher metabolism to burn off the food and wine. I also did ashtanga yoga for the first time this morning and it was awesome! I really improved my flexibility! After dinner we're going to a lounge and meet up with some other people to enjoy the rest of the night.

I had my wedding hair trial today (can u believe that in 2 weeks I'll be MARRIED??). I'll post a picture tomorrow to show you ladies!

So right now I'm waiting for D to get off work (I was on my way when he txted me that he was going to be an hour late and I was pretty much already here). I'm bored and running out of things to write about. I wish I was shopping or back at home getting ready. I still have 30 mins left until he's off...GAH!

Anyways, I think I'll just play some poker on my phone and go on FB.

Bye ladies!
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Success yesterday and fantastic thinspo!

So yesterday was a far better day than Sunday was. After yesterday’s work eats I only had some asparagus and then spent the entire evening packing (D was really sick so I skipped yoga to get ahead on the packing).


Tonight I’m definitely doing yoga! I HAVE to since I have 8 classes left and I have only 8 days to finish them. So I’m assigning D to clean the car and workout what work stuff he wants to keep and what he wants/needs to get rid of. His papers are everywhere because we don’t have a filing system but half the papers are old e-mails he doesn’t have to keep. I’m getting just a little annoyed with him. I’m embarrassed to have people in my car with me since it’s a disaster!! He has to have it all done by tomorrow when he picks me up from work because I want to be able to bring packed stuff to my parents’ for storage until we move. I don’t want to have to keep the boxes at the apartment after next week since I’ll be moving back home until the wedding. I don’t want to spend another minute living with D’s aunt when she gets back from her vacation. I know packing will be near impossible so I want to get everything cleaned, packed and out of the apartment before this weekend. Especially since we don’t know when she’s going to be back (she’s horrible with letting us know).

I have so much to do between now and the wedding I don’t know when I’ll have time for me again! And I’m SO poor it’s really depressing  stupid house.

So I have a canker inside my mouth on my lip. It really stings and it’s really discouraging me from consuming anything but water. I managed to have a cracker this morning and right now I’m attempting to nibble on some green bean salad and almonds but the dressing is stinging my canker and the almond when it’s chewed up is rubbing up against the sore. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that I can’t eat but I want to avoid the binge monster again so I’m trying to just nibble here and there. I’m on bottle number 3 of water and staring at my lovely little tiny plate of food (only 85 grams of beans and almonds and I think that includes the weight of the plate as well) so I think I’m probably under 100 cals (but that’s IF I can manage to eat it at all). I’ve resorted to chewing some mint gum to keep my mouth busy for the time being and get my mind off of being hungry.

I hope because of this canker I am able to drop some weight like crazy over the next day or so. But my period is coming soon so I know I’m going to be bloating up. I just hope I don’t get it ON my wedding day. I will just be in pure agony if that’s the case. I would rather have it the next day on the plane and sleep through it rather than not enjoy my day because I’m sick!

I have this app on my iPod that is call iPeriod. It tracks my cycle so I know when to expect it. It says that I’m due on the 4th so I would have to be late a WHOLE week to have it effect my wedding day. So as long as it’s only late a couple days I’m in the clear. It will just suck to have it in general on the big day. At least I’m a little more relieved!

Work is starting to slowly kill me. Lol. I really can’t wait until my vacation. I have 10 days until vacation (8 working days) and then 18 days until the wedding!! Things are really closing in! Ack! I have so much to do!!!

Anyone want to come to Canada to be my assistant?? Or heck, anyone in Canada want to be my assistant for the next 2 weeks? It would have to be pro-bono work but I would really really REALLY appreciate it!!

So what do you guys say?? :D

Oh! So last night I watched the Miss Universe pageant. Such amazing thinspo!!! They were truly gorgeous women!!!! It just made me a TEEEEEENNNY bit jealous. They were all super tall and super skinny. It sucks that they fall in that percentage of women that can ACTUALLY look like that! I wonder how many of them actually starve hemselves???

OMG I’m a huge fat ass!


So I had a really really really great weekend. Liquid fast Friday, half portion at dinner on Saturday and did Bikram and skipped breakfast on Sunday. Sunday afternoon hit and the binge-fest started…it all started with a piece of 80 cal toast with a little bit homemade strawberry preserve. From there, it went onto sushi (1 california roll and seaweed salad) and then another piece of toast. Then was when the big monster came out…a WHOLE bag of ruffles chips with ranch dip!! OMG I wanted to die. I just couldn’t stop!

Needless to say, I’ve already gone over my diet pill dosage for today to try to make my body super energize to get it out and have a BM. I bought some baby food on my way to work and I’ve been nursing a jar all day. I’m almost done but it’s only 120 cals for the jar. It’s so sweet that I can only have one or two spoonfuls at once.

Tonight, I plan on either doing a Hot Flow class or another Bikram to burn off the rest of those disgusting chips. The other food yesterday wasn’t horrible it was just too much. The chips I need to work off. I’m so bloated from the salt that I’ve been chugging water all day to try to flush out the water I’ve retained. The scales have gone into hiding because I can’t even bare to look at them! And the lack of sleep I got from driving D into work this morning at 2 am isn’t helping the bloating either! Ew ew ew ew!!!

If I thought my dress was a little snug on Friday, I bet it wont even zip up right now!!!

I’m skipping dinner tonight and I’m making the excuse that I can’t eat before yoga and then just say it’s too late to eat now when I get home. I need to drop this weight FAST! I want to be slim and slender when I go to Paris so I don’t look like a blimp compared to the French women! Euro women are so svelte…they may not be stick thin but they sure as hell are not FAT!

I need to kick this and drop this fat like there’s no tomorrow. I need to be slender and slim for my wedding…I can’t be lumpy and bumpy…

Oh BTW…remember to keep good posture…it makes you look thinner…slouching makes everything droop and sag and lump so you appear bulkier than you actually do…I was looking at pictures from my shower and there were pictures of me slouching and pictures of me standing with good posture and I look COMPLETELY different…must work on keeping shoulders back…hmmmm…maybe I should start walking around the apartment with a big book on my head!

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IMG00126-20100821-1157.jpg

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
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IMG00127-20100821-1159.jpg

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Happy Saturday!!

I have been doing pretty well...Yesterday was awsesome!

At work it was just coffee and juice and water. It was great!

After work I went and had my final fitting of my dress and it fit perfectly!!! (well I could lose another inch in my hips but there's plently of time for that!) So my dress is now hanging up at my parent's house!! yay!

So after my fitting, I picked D up from work with our friend SB and we went shopping to finish D's suit for the wedding. He needed shoes a shirt and a tie.

Well we found him shoes for his suit, and another pair for every day. Then I found a pair of black booties and a pair of brown over the knee boots...I also bought the purse from Marciano that I've been eyeing for weeks! Needless to say we dropped TONS of money lol about a grand between the two of us yesterday! lol

So after our shopping spree, we went for drinks (it was about 10 pm) I just ordered some soda water and enjoyed sipping on that with some lime slices in it. All of a sudden D turned to me and said "I haven't seen you eat at all today. Did you even eat dinner?" I made some lame excuse about having some vegetables before I picked him up from work but he wasn't impressed and pushed his plate of nachos infront of me. I didn't have a choice...I took a few onto my plate and nibbled at 4 nachos (i made sure to get none with any cheese on it and I passed up the guac and the sour cream) So last night was a bit of a let down but 4 nachos with some salsa and peppers is about lets say max 100 cals but i made sure to have one jalapeno slice on each one to speed up my metabolism a bit from the spice. Today it's currently noon and I'm just sipping on my first coffee of the day. So it may be back to square one but I'm going full force.

Anyways, time to get ready for the spa. I'll take some pics with my blackberry and post them later on my way to the spa so you can all see my spoils!! lol

wish me luck today, I'll be at the spa until 5 so that's a whole afternoon with no access to food, only coffee and water! woo!