Hello my lovelies...

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. I just feel disjointed from everything. I don't feel like I really belong anywhere. I haven't spoken with any of my friends in weeks. They don't seem to have the time for me. I feel like i'm on the outside of my familiy and really all my life consists of right now is sitting in my house. I feel so devoid of everything right now. My weight sucks, I have no friends and I have no one to talk to. D would just think I'm over reacting and being dramatic, but he's the one that has plans every week and I'm the one that either stays at home or just trails along because I have nothing better to do.

My birthday is tomorrow and it doesn't even feel like it's my birthday. It just feels like another day of the week. Usually this month is a huge event because I have so many friends that share this month with me so we usually spend the whole month prior planning a huge party/night out. This year, no one has even mentioned anything. Granted T's dad passed away a couple of weeks ago and she's not really up for much right now. And I'm not saying that I'm more important. It's just that this month feels weird and not normal.

On the note of T. I'm not sure if she still considers me a good friend anymore. During the whole time her dad was sick I was e-mailing her and txting her to see how she was and if there was anything I could do for her. Things finally settled down for her and we were trying to make plans to get together. Granted we both have very different schedules and we came to today being a good day to get together but D had already made dinner plans for my brithday since I work tomorrow night. I asked her if we could do Saturday evening instead, and she agreed. Then suddenly last night she texts me saying that she'll have to pass on Saturday. No reason and no suggestions for rescheduling. In the meantime, she's messaged almost everyone else she know's on Facebook to make plans with them and is in the process of making them. I'm not sure what I did that she doesn't want to see me. But oh well, this all just falls back into what I'm saying here.

I really need to spend more time on here with you all. At least I feel like I belong here and I don't have to worry about what I say or do. I don't know if any of you feel like I do but this has been something that's been bugging me for a while and I just haven't said anything.

To you married girls out there, do you feel like since you've been married that your single friends really don't talk to you as much as they used to?

I don't know how I'm going to hide this funk from D tonight. He's taking me out because of the way I've been feeling about my birthday. He knows I've been feeling off about everything. He's trying hard to make this an exciting birthday for turning 25.

Food wise I've only been ok. I've been managing to keep HSBQ score at the right level but this weekend was a bit of a bad food fest. I did exercise and work off most of the calories. I didn't eat at all at work but the evenings were filled with wings and soda or wine and rich food. My weight hasn't changed much since wednesday, I'm still at 141. I was hoping to be back below 140 by today but I guess I'll be trying again for that this week.

Anyways, I think I've spent enough time boring the crap out of you all. I miss being on blogger and I miss all of you so so! I promise I'll be on every night posting from here on in!