Wednesday, August 11, 2010

ramblings and on the bright side....

Ok, so today is the start of my 3 day fast.

It's not going to be a full on fast but this is what it will consist of:


Coffee (as much as I want but only 2 cup can have skim milk)
1 organic 10 oz juice (160 cals)
Tea (as much as I want)
water (as much as I can consume)
1 hour HIIT workout
2 oz of chicken breast and 3 slices of cucumber


Same as above before all day
1.5 hr Bikram yoga class (966 cals burned)
Max 200 cals for dinner if D makes me eat


Same as above but absolutely no food (D works until 9)
1.5 hr Bikram yoga class (966 cals burned)
100 situps


no breakfast
yoga class if I dont' sleep in
Minimal food at the shower
Minimal dinner at the bachelorette
as low cal drinks as possible

I think this is totally acheiveable to lose at least 2lbs by Saturday morning. I stepped on my scale today and on the second step it flashed 140!!! But when I stepped on again to make sure it was right it went back up to 142. I am taking this as a small victory because I have never seen that number on this scale so it makes me pretty happy! woo!

So here are my most recent measurements:

RA: 10.4
LA: 10.5
BS: 37.75
RB: 30.75
W: 28.75
H: 36.25
BT: 39.25
RT: 22.5
LT: 22.5

So some changes on my upper body not much on my lower body. Can't complain though!

I need to keep a positive mindframe this week so I can acheive my goals. I can't get down on myself. I can't get jealous of people who have different bodies than me. I know I can't acheive their bodies because mine is different. Thankfully I'm graced with a small frame so when I do have a big drop that it really shows. But the other side of this double-edged sword is that if I put on anything or bloat it REALLY shows.

On the note of being with my friends this weekend and being larger than them is that they are all under 5'3. I am considerably taller than most of them so it would make sense that I weigh more and I am "technically wider" but with my height comes long legs that look great in minis and a defined waist. I guess that's how I can disguise the flab with my clothing.

So my friend who is doing the finess competition in the fall basically said that I should give up on maintaining and just keep on as I was before because it wont stress me out as much. Yay for encouraging me not to eat! but that means a lot more hiding and a lot more lying about what I eat. but sticking yoga classes in on most evenings will give me lots of excuses not to eat around D. I can't eat 90 mins before class and by the time the class is done it's super late and i just can't eat! It's funny, my friend is so supportive in me losing this weight but she thinks that I eat almost as much as her in a day. She doesn't know that I only have maybe a max of 500 a day on average when I'm trying to lose. As well she doesn't know that I spend almost as much time as her working out, and she doesn't know I'm constantly counting calories and negating them. I wonder what she would say if she found out my habits?

I was reading J's blog (Eat no Evil) and she wrote about wannarexics. It got me to thinking, do I fall under that? I don't consider myself anorexic. For one, I don't fall under most of the classifications for it. I do consider myself disordered though. I don't want to be this way always thinking about every little piece of food I consume and I hate my distorted view of my body. I am constantly told that I'm not fat and that my stomach is flat blah blah blah...but all I can see on myself is rolls, and lumps and muffin tops. I know I don't drop like some of you girls, but I do read about girls that bob up and down like I do. Sorry I just wanted to put my thoughts down somewhere...

Anyways, I should PROBABLY get to work and get something done before one of my bosses catches me on here! lol!

1 comment:

  1. Scales suck! How can it differ by two pounds when you weigh 2 times in a row? As far as wannarexics. I have never claimed to have an ED so I know that's not me.