Hello lovelies.

So I know I haven't posted pictures of my food yet. I'm having trouble sending them from my phone and transfering them off. But it's been going amazingly. Even though my calorie intake is still in the 500-700 range, I'm not ravenous anymore at the end of the day. My weight is still staying stubbornly steady but my body feels like it's regulating. I don't need to take laxies to purge or get my system moving which is great.

The plan is getting boring though. I can now officially say I've had more than enough salmon to last me a while. Tomorrow, however, I'm going to be cooking up a tiny bison roast (part of the diet) which I'm really excited about. I'm thinking about doing some sort of seasoning that has rosemary involved.

Harlow: I would LOVE to get some quinoa recipes off of you!! It's become a real staple in my daily intake. It's a perfect thing to bring with me to work and it keeps so well in the fridge when I cook it ahead of time.  :)

So, yesterday I started my period and I detered slightly from the diet to have some ice cream. Work plus extreme cramps does not go well together. So my intake was closer to 1000 but after 3 days of perfect 650s I allowed this one just to survive my day at work.

Speaking of work, job hunting is going well. I'm finding some real good postings and even had a recruiter call ME! I didn't get a chance to call her back yet but it's for an Admin job. I'm going to look into it. I am also going to apply to an Executive Assistant posting at the Museum of Civilization here. Starting pay is $62K. I was like OMFG for an Executive Assistant job that's crazy! I would be making par with D. I hope I at least get an interview!!!

D is slowly starting to get depressed about work. His bosses are becoming so incredibly demanding in unreasonable ways. They're super cryptic and they're always giving him shit. He works 12 hour days busting his ass only to be told that he sucks at his job. He comes home all mopey and sad and just wants to veg out and ends up falling asleep on the couch. He seems to give everything to turn his department around but he never gets the recognition he needs. And to top it all off, he's told that he needs to have a car for every shift so he can get out onto the road at a moment's notice (which disrupts our whole schedule and leaves me stranded at the house on my days off). To top it all off his boss asks D (when he notices D is upset and not his usual self) asks if everything is ok at home and with me. His boss is so damned dense and such an egomaniac that he can't possibly admit that he's the cause of my husband's misery. I feel so helpless that I can't do anything for D. I don't know what to say or do. I make half of what he does so I can't even support him while he looks for something else and it doesn't seem like he wants to look outside the company. I dunno what to do and I just hope things get better for D.

On a more cheerful note. I've booked my vacation for the summer today and took the Ottawa race weekend off. It got me to thinking today about this:

It's a shame that we keep these blogs a secret. I know we do it for obvious reasons, but just imagine if we weren't desperate to keep these havens a secret from the people in our every day lives. We could meet each other in the real world, and have community outside of our computers. Like with the race weekend, I will be cheering on my friends along with Harlow, but it would be great to actually be able to congragulate her as she crosses the finish line instead of quietly watching her finish. I would love more than anything to meet all my reader and the writers of the blogs I follow and just get to know the beautiful women you all are. Sometimes I feel like I connect more with all of you than the people I interact with on a daily basis. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who thinks this but it is something I've thought about a lot.

Anyways, I've probably bored all of you with this extremely long post so I'll call it a night and I hope all of you have wonderful weekends!

Cals

So great news!!!!

My meal plan (with my alterations and portions) is only 440cals!!! I will probably add an ensure or something for protein and vitamins. That will probably boost my intake more to 700

Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

Thanks Harlow!!!  I'm definitly going to have to dig out my stability ball out of the boxes I still have yet to unpack. That dead bug with stability ball looks awesome!! Regular Dead Bugs really kill me so I bet that the addition of the stability ball will push me over the edge!!

So I've started my diet. Because of my work schedules and breaks I can't eat that many meals in a day. SO...I had 3 egg whites for breakfast with hot sauce no oats. I have 2.5 oz of chicken with 1/3 cup (cooked) of plain quinoa and 1.5 cups of green beans. That's lunch and for dinner I have 3 oz of salmon with 1.5 cups spinach. There was no oil used in the baking of these foods and only the tiniest bit of salt so no extra uneeded calories. It's all clean and organic. Now, I'm not going to make myself eat it all if I'm not hungy. But I will eat it at my times. I have calculated that this meal has put me somewhere in the 800-1000 cal range. I need to sit and actually do the math (will post later) but I think it's still relatively low cal. The hardest part of this diet is that it doesn't change day in day out and there is no fruit so the sweet is gone. This is very savoury but because I will be eating quite a bit I shouldn't have too many cravings. I'm counting on the fact that my peppermint tea will be enough to curb those crazy sweet cravings.

I'll post pictures later today to show what i ended up with for today.

Anyways off to work I go for the day I'll post later tonight!!

Hey lovelies.

Thank you all for your comments. I think I am going to try to change things up a little bit. I'm going to try to eat more veggies during my shift and maybe a tad bit more fibre (I'm thinking quinoa or oatmeal). For our meals at night I'm going to push D to make more fish rather than carb heavy pastas and pan fried foods.

I've also looked to My bff T for a bit of help on the balanced diet front. She's sent me her diet she's doing for her competition (as I've mentioned before she does figure competitions). I've put it down below but I wont be eating that much. I'll probably reduce the amounts considerably and cut out a meal or two. But as you can see there it's a day in day out plan but over the next few weeks I should have enough protein and fibre to get me through. I need to work out the weights and the measurments, but the great thing is that I can prepare everything for days ahead of time so it's easy to pack up for work later that week. I need to get batteries for my food scale to help this along.


Breakfast
Omelette:
1 tsp EVOO

Choice of veggies (onions, peppers, mushrooms, broccoli & spinach)

6 egg whites
1/3c oats

1 Multi Vitamin


Snack:
1 scoop whey

1tsp nuts or nut butter


Lunch:

4oz chicken breasts
1/3c Quinoa or Brown Rice (Long Grain) or 6oz Sweet Potato

2 cups green veggies of choice
Snack:
4oz Tilapia

1tsp nuts or nut butter
1 serving All Greens
Dinner (min 1hr pre-workout):
4 oz salmon or buffalo
2 big handful of spinach

Snack (before bed):
1 egg, cooked

Your comments were helpful and uplifting. I'm really starting to feel that I belong in the community.

So yesterday I had a small victory :) I went out shopping with my hubby and a friend and I stopped at my fave store and I wanted to try on a a maxi dress for my vacation coming up and I asked the sales associate if there was a medium because there wasn't one on the rack and she looked at me and said (and I quote) "There is NO way you're a medium. Here, try on the small it should fit fine." So I tried it on and it zipped up!! I was in total disbelief. I don't think I've EVER been a small in that store! I bought this really adorable silk shirt in navy. I also fit into a 27 jean there as well :). While in the fitting room I realized I have quite a bit of loose skin in my tummy area so my goal for the next 2 weeks will mostly be toning up that area to tighted eerything up. At least I'll be able to lose a few inches by doing that....

Anyways, I'm off to workout and plan my days for the next 2 weeks and to find a good workout.

I suck...

I'm working out, I barely eat at work (lettuce no dressing and half a pbj sandwich or a cup of broth), I drink tons of water and tea (totally almost 3L) And it's all great until I get home. D gets hungry and cooks for the both of us. and I just eat, doesn't matter what I just eat. But since i'm putting something in my stomach other than a liquid, I don't stop.

I've been bouncing up and down 2lbs. nothing solid.

I don't think I'll be looking good in a bikini. I'm already looking at onepiece suits for my trip it seems like they're making a comeback.

I know I haven't posted in a while but all of you are doing really well and you are all fantastic! Keep it up everyone!

1-3-7.0

Those were the numbers that just showed up on the scale.

I weighed in this morning at 139.4, about 8 hours later I'm down 2.4lbs...I'm estatic! After eating a piece of pizza at my parent's while doing my laundry (I don't have a machine yet so yes I'm mooching off the rents until we can afford one) I thought I really had gone back up to 140 but this drop has been so confidence boosting! I haven't seen this weight in weeks. The last time I stabalized at this weight was JUST before the wedding and I was still able to drop down 3lbs after that!

I'm just about to do my cardio DVD so wish me luck!! I think tonight I'll definitely attempt the yoga DVD in full...I just have that much confidence and energy seeing that number! It makes me really think I might just get down the 10lbs I need before my vacation!!

Woo!

Hey lovelies.

Thanks for your comments. D and I are still going strong but that damned letter has been picking at me in the back of my brain. I don't know why I can't let it go. I'm not thinking about if the letter was true, but my mind keeps racing on the questions of why and where did the thought come from? Anyways, I'll just keep dwelling on it in my head slowly going crazy.

So my week has been pretty good with my workouts. I'm starting to get a little further in the P90X yoga DVD. Still can't finish it but I'm getting there. There hasn't been a day since Wednesday that I haven't been sore all over. The pain I love the most is the pain in the area of my inner thighs and butt. I have to keep the circuit training up with the lunges, squats and wall sits. My abs have been burning too.

Last night was inventory and I got to do  A LOT of heavy lifting. I was moving and counting space heaters (oil and electric) vacuum cleaners and lots of boxes of printing paper and envelopes. Needless to say I'm pretty sore! lol

Today I'm off, so I'll be spending my day cleaning, vacuuming and washing floors. I'm going to try to get a workout in all before my mom comes over. I'm having her over for dinner. So on top of everything I have to do today, I have to cook dinner. I'm thinkin of going along the lines of vegetarian stir fry. I want to tkeep it as light as possible. I have a few things I need to pick up from the grocery store, but I have to see if my mom can take me out since D has the car and the grocery store up the road doesn't take Amex. I was planning on going for a walk there and back but that option was dashed this morning when i finally realize that fact.

Anyways lovelies, I'm going to get started on my day because I have a lot ahead of me and I REALLY want to get a workout in before 2. That only gives me 4 hours to get this all done before I get a shower.

Oh and on a nother completely different note, I REALLY want to go shopping!!! I haven't been since boxing day and I need new jeans like you wouldn't believe and I just really like shopping.

Ok, now I'm really done. See you soon!

People are just fucked...

So yesterday started off very well. Woke up and did 35 mins of circuit training and 15 mins of ab work. I had 2 egg whites (33) with hot sauce for breakfast along with my supplements and a shit ton of water. At work at about 3 I had 1 cup of steamed asparagus (50) and 1 portobello mushroom (50). Work has been work nothing new in that area.

I went on my second break at about 5 and looked at my phone and I had a message on my Facebook from someone I didn't know. Basically the message said that my husband has been cheating on me and I should be paying more attention to his flirty behaviour. All sorts of things like that. At first I thought it was just some prankster trolling and stirring up shit because the information they were giving was very vague and there was nothing concret a lot of hearsay. However, at one point, in the message they mentioned they wanted to taket his to his boss and named his boss directly. That sent me for a spin. Needless to say I was super freaked out. Thankfully, I was able to get in touch with D right away and we spent the remainder of my break talking about it. It was obviously someone just trying to cause shit and probably someone who has a grudge against him (probably a seasonal who didn't get kept on). I am just glad that my hubby and I always talk because otherwise I don't think we could have gotten through this as well as we did.

I'm taking the day off work today to just deflate and recover from last night's binge (got mcdonald's after work not good). D is going to try to get off early so we can spend the day together.

I just don't understand how people who have absolutely no connection to us feel they need to ruin a complete stranger's lift. Who does a thing like that. I think that's the only thing that really pisses me off. Seriously....what do they have to gain from destroying a marriage??

Anyways, liquids and fruit only for me today. I think I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and I'm going to start cleaning the house.

So the whole Kenneth Tong thing was supposedly a big hoax. He posted a formal appology on twitlonger about the whole thing. He said he had made a bet with a friend that anyone can become famous in a matter of days. So he used twitter as his medium and used a shock tactic with "supporting" managed anorexia.

On to other news. I'm backdown to the bottom of my plateau. Laxies and a liquid fast yesterday really helped. Today I had a small salad with some nuts and some dried cranberries (250) and then I had a latte (100). D is cooking some tuna for dinner with some asparagus (300) which puts my cal intake for the day just under 800. Not too bad for a day where I had lunch with my mom (I tried to get out of eating after she had said she had already eaten) and my hubby going all gourmet on me. Tomorrow I'll be going liquid again. I got D to buy me some rice milk so I can make a light smoothie for my morning "breakfast" after my workout.

I pulled out my bikini bootcamp book this morning and realized I can do the workouts every day. The circuit training should only take 38 mins with 15 mins of abs and stretching in the morning and then 15 mins of yoga in the afternoon. With my job having me walk all over the place and unloading and packing groceries will be added calorie burning. Saturday night is inventory so I'll be spending my day working out and resting and then I'll be counting merchandise. I'm working hardlines and the bulk wall that night. So any of you Costco members that means housewares and office supplies and the appliances along the wall when you first walk into the warehouse. So LOTS of heavy lifting!! Yay strength training!!

Hopefully tomorrow I'll see some movement on the scale :)

Harlow: what did you mean by you wanted to do a post on "managed anorexia"? That's one thing I haven't been quite clear on in this whole thing. Maybe I misinterpreted your comment but I would love read about something like that.

Fed Up: I really do like the fact that I have a concrete goal to work towards. I found that was what really helped me get the weight off for my wedding. After that, I just plateaued. I should see the scale drop again pretty soon!

I'm still here...

Last week was just bad. I had obligatory meal after obligatory meal with family and friends all week. As a result, I am now back at my hovering 140s. It seems that no matter how hard I try, this weight just wont let go of me. I can crawl down to maybe 5-6lbs less only to spring back up like a slingshot.

D and I are going away somewhere warm the second week of February. This means I have 5 weeks to get bikini ready. I'm definitely thinking of pulling out my bikini bootcamp book and really tackling that workout regime/"diet". This regime has you working out twice a day. One workout is strength and calisthetics while the other is yoga or pilates. I just need to get into the habit of waking up at 6 so I can fit in the strength training before I go to work. The yoga I can do before bed.

To kick off this 5 week blast, today is nothing but liquids...well that's a lie. I have to go to my grandparents' tonight as D will be learning how to cure and smoke proscuitto, spek and sausages. He has taken it upon himself to learn the skill so that when my grandfather can no longer make it for the family he will be the provider. The only bad thing about this situation is that there will definitely be something fried, or at least very high in calories. I know I can just opt out of not eating, but then I will just highly offend my grandmother, the joys of coming from an Eastern European family. It is offensive if you don't eat the hostesses food...ALL of it. So today is only: Coffee, broth, tea, water and if I'm really feeling faint I'll grab a snack sized Booster Juice while I'm out running todays errands.

So far this morning I've had coffee and I dusted off my P90X DVDs (as now I ACTUALLY have space to do the workouts!! yay!) and did 45 mins of the yoga DVD. I have to say after 4 months of not doing yoga I'm definitely not as flexible as I was and the Vinyasas were really hard on my wrists. I love yoga but the Sun Salutation Vinyasa wreaks havoc on my tendonitis. If I'm done my errands early today, I'll probalby come back and do either the ab ripper or the Kenpo DVD. I haven't decided yet.

I've recently started exploring Twitter, and I have recently stumbled over something I'm not sure what to make of. He's one of the top trending topics right now. You can find his tweets under the name MrKennethTong. He's supposedly from the UK and he promotes what he calls "managed anorexia." His tweets are talking about how thin is how every woman should be and fat women are a disgrace.

Some of his latest tweets are as follows:

Kenneth Tong: taking away your undeserved confidence. Reminding ou not everyone is beautiful, that's just what they tell fat & ugly people.

Kenneth Tong: making fat girls more irrelevant than they already are, haven't you ever heard of managed anorexia?

Don't listen to them. They're all trying to make fatter. You're a mess as is. Throw the food away. Yo'ull be so much happier then.

The words lunch, breakfast and dinner should now mean nothing to you, you have eaten enough for a lifetime. Stop. You are disgusting. 

He's gotten a lot of attention from celebrities from the US and the UK. I'm not sure if anyone knows if this guy is real or fake. He's supposedly going to be releasing a pill he's calling the "Size Zero Pill." What are your thoughts on all of this?

Anyways, I'm off to get myself together for the day. I have an appointment to get my eyebrows done today (after almost 4 months of trying to manage them myself) at noon so I need to get my butt into gear.

Good luck today lovelies!! I hope I can begin to see the scale move its way down again soon!

Crappy Start

So after not standing on the scale for 3 days (I don't weigh myself during my period which started me at 140) I took the plunge to see where 2011 is starting me off. Well I'm at 142 and boy does it show. Tomorrow's photo will show.

Anyways, I had decided yesterday that I would just go with the flow and not really care about the food and drink at the party. Well that lax attitude flowed into today and I've just been eating like crap. I'm not even going to list it.

So tomorrow morning after all my guests have left (they're here the weekend because of the UFC fight tonight) I'm switching on my P90X videos and I'm doing Kenpo and Yoga and if I have it in me the Ab Ripper DVD too. Tomorrow night is my sister's birthday dinner so I need to have a very significant calorie deficit by tomorrow evening to counter the last 2 days and tomorrow night. I need to really really really really get back on my game like I was last winter. The holidays are over and there is no excuse to fail now.

I'm heading out with the girls soon to see Black Swan. I'm quite excited to see it and hope it will be good inspiration for the year. Natalie Portman lost a shittonne of weight for the role. I seriously think sometimes that I want to find a dietician that will put me on one of these celebrity diets. Like Christian Bale...he lost 60lbs in a matter of 2 months for his role in The Machinist (sp?). I'd love to halve that! I would be the perfect amount of tiny then.

I was watching the top 100 Maxim girls of 2010 and I really want to have my waist so tiny that when I put my hands on my hips my fingers almost touch at my bellybutton without trying.

Anyways enough of my ramblings. I'll update tomorrow with my progress pic.