Quest for Skinny

so this is my first blog. I’ve decided to jump on the bandwagon and start my own blog after being inspired by other bloggers who use their blogs to keep track of their weight. I have had issues with my weight since I was about 15. I’ve constantly been in flux with my weight. I’ve been everywhere between 118 and 165 lbs. I have a love hate relationship with food.

I think I might start this blog out with a little background on myself. I come from a family of small framed people. My mother is 5’2 and has trouble fitting into size 0 pants. When she was my age she was a tiny 99 lbs. Now, she’s about 110 soaking wet. My sister is 5’3 and is in the 1teens with a tiny frame but super curvy and all the right proportions with a teeny tiny waist. My dad, 6’2 and a thin lanky frame. So it seems that I come from good genes right? One would think so but somehow I got gypped out of getting those genes. I am 5’6 and I weigh 143lbs. I have been tiny before weighing my lowest just before I went to university at 118. That was the time I really started obsessing about my body image and weight. I was always the rounder curvier girl but after my very first boyfriend broke up with me just after prom everything spiraled out of control. During that summer, I barely ate and I walked EVERYWHERE. My food intake would be a blizzard from DQ (where I worked that summer) and that was it. The rest of my time I was walking. When I got to university, I was tiny. I was gorgeous. I was getting attention from people that would have never given me the time of day back at home. I got into the party scene and with the drinking and then the overeating that happens when you are drunk, I gained almost 50lbs within my first year. I jumped from a size 3/4 to a size 10/11. It was NOT pretty.

Over the next 4 years I yo-yoed between 165 and 140. It wasn’t until I left university that I managed to drop back down to the high 120s low 130s. I also went through a long hard breakup with my next serious boyfriend. When I left for my grad program the next fall I was back at my ideal body weight (low 120s). I couldn’t stand food and I spent all my money on clothes and other material things so I ended up not being able to afford it anyways. I came back home once I graduated and since then I’ve gained back about 25 lbs over the last 2 years.

I’m getting married in September and I want to lose everything I’ve gained and get back to the weight and body I had when my fiancé met me. I am looking for support and possibly anyone who would want to join me on my journey. I plan on logging my food intake (or lack there-of) and my exercise each day. Work makes it hard for me to be online constantly but I will try my best to update at least once a day.

So for today’s update :p

I have only had:

2 cups of coffee with skim milk
¼ cup of Fibre 1 cereal with no milk
2 doses of Xenadrine Ultra
5 bottles of water

I don’t plan on having more than just some veggies for dinner or a small salad. I have a feeling with the warm weather my fiancé will want to head to a patio.

I don’t feel that my diet pills are working, and I was wondering if anyone (if they read this entry at all) know of any strong diet pills. I’ve tried all the ones available at the drugstores (Hydroxycut, Slimquick, Rapidcuts, and Xenadrine). I don’t feel like there’s anything happening and some of them give me mad cravings and I end up binging. I want a good fat burner and appetite suppressant. Any ideas or suggestions on something available here in Canada??