Thursday, May 6, 2010

not my day

So an update on last night: my sister made pancakes and I had one for dinner (no syrup or butter or any other toppings). I tried to find the smallest one on the plate and I paired it with 3 baby carrot sticks. For the rest of the night I only had water. I was super satiated and didn’t crave anything for the rest of the night, even when my fiancĂ© made perogies at 10 pm (who eats that late??).

I don’t think that I could get through a day without my vitamins and supplements. I have built up a daily regimen that consists of:

1 multi vitamin
3 flax seed oil capsules
1 vitamin E (for my nails, hair and skin)
3 doses of diet pills (one for each “meal”)

This keeps me going all day, with minimal cravings and the strength to not binge.

Not only do the vitamins keep my nutrients in check but they help with my overall health too. I rarely get sick because I always have all the right vitamins to keep my immune system running.

I have a problem with food. My family background is centred around food. Being from an Eastern European family, if you don’t eat something someone cooks for you, it’s a HUGE insult. I try my best to eat alone to avoid situations like that.

So recently I’ve developed eczema on and around my eyes and this morning it flared up like you wouldn’t believe. It is the most irritating feeling and all I want to do is scratch scratch scratch! I haven’t been able to wear make up for weeks, and I have had to stop using moisturizing creams and now I’ve had to cut out my face wash too! I am going to have to go to the doctor’s or try to find some sort of homeopathic remedy.

Man…today is just not my day! I just got a call from my bank that my account has been compromised! This is not going well. At least all this stress is taking my mind off of eating.

I can’t wait to be skinny again. I looked at some pictures of me from a few weeks ago and my legs are like tree trunks! I’m really afraid now to wear skirts or dresses! I don’t want to show off my legs. My legs used to be one of my best assets. Well, only eating max 300 cals a day will get me there, and I’m starting back up with my trainer from 3 years ago. So I think I’ll be able to get back on track with everything

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