totally omg need this!

Dear lovelies,

Sorry I haven't been posting regularily. I'm in some mean funk. I'm so down with the lack of $$, my crap of a job and the lack of new opportunities popping up. I started crying at work for no reason at all today. Very embarassing.

I'll post again when I have something better to talk about other than getting down on myself.

I'm still reading your blogs though! I'm still around.

Hey lovelies!

So I'm just getting over my cold. It was not a fun weekend. I was dizzy and fuzzy headed all weekend. I couldn't think or speak straight. There's been a virus going around recently and I could possibly have this cough and sniffles (minus the fuzziness) for another few weeks.

Today, I'm meeting with someone I used to work with in the office who now works for the YMCA Employment Resources centre nearby. I hope she can help me improve my chances in finding a new job. My sister and mom have been sending me links to Event Planning/PR companies around the city saying I should volunteer my time. I would love to do that but I just don't have the time anywhere to fit in volunteering. My sister even is suggesting I volunteer this fall at the Ottawa Fashion Week. Maybe pick up one of their internships. Which is doable because I can work from home on my off time from work and then I would just have to take a week off in October for the actual event. I was reading the bios of employees from some of the companies and they have taken journalism and Masters in communications and done internships in places like NYC, LA, Europe etc and are now working back in Ottawa...It's starting to make sense why I can't get into the industry. But hopefully the volunteer work will get me SOMEWHERE...

So I'm back down to 135 exactly. Yesterday I had some iceberg lettuce and 1/4 of a small tomato, a banana, a tall non-fat iced latte and then a bit of steak with steamed asparagus and a salad with D. My day totalled at about 671 cals. Today, I plan on really only having some rasberries and another salad like my lunch yesterday. Along with my iced latte I don't want to go over 500 today. I work late tonight so I don't have to eat infront of D.

Anyways, I have to run to catch my bus!!

Woo! Free time to ACTAULLY do a proper post!

Hello lovelies!

So I finally have found a moment alone to update you all on my goings ons.

So my back is finally not in super agonizing pain anymore. Still not quite sure what I did to it...but I'm definitely on the mend. It's made for quite boring days at work.

This week hasn't been the greatest. Being couch-bound for days straight, gives a big opening to the boredom monster. You know when he's around when you just continuously snack because there is nothing better to do. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I ate tons of fruit and veggies and Wednesday I packed a good lunch albeit a larger one (whole wheate pasta steamed bok choi and cut up strawberries). The large consumption wasn't BAD consumption until Wednesday night. My coworker who drove me home after we closed stopped by McDonald's and offered to get me some. It's all completely my fault no blame game here but on me completely. I said "sure!" I figured that She would drive me home while I munched a fry or two then toss it all when I got in the door. Nope...We ate in the parking lot...I ate an entire big mac meal. Yup, I suck. I'm back up to 138. Been there since yesterday.

Yesterday I had a total of 500 cals until about 5 then when I met my mom for our pedi date last night she took me out for dinner. I decided to have some Thai curry (spicy to speed up metabolism and to make me eat it slower). I'm going to say the half portion I ate came to about another 250. So I don't think it was a bad day yesterday. However, with a back injury, going to the gym i just not an option so I haven't been able to work anything off at all this week...yay.

Today, I work and then I'm going shopping for a dress for an event that I'm going to tomorrow. Hopefully the 3lb gain this week doesn't make this absolute torture for me. I'm excited though. One of my favourite stores is having a big sale this weekend and I'm hoping to walk away with a really awesome piece for summer! :)

So it's back on the wagon  for me. My consumption today will be liquids except for some fruit. I wont be taking in any solids other than the berries I have in my fridge. This is until I get downtown tonight, and then I'll probably have a salad or a small wrap from wherever we end up eating (we're meeting up with my sister as well so it's become a social thing). Off to my first tea while I check e-mails and drink my mint tea.

Thanks for the comments ladies and welcome to my 3 new followers - brixy, parisienne.love and Mich!

measurements updated. I think it's just because i'm on my low before my period.

I've busted my back and had to leave early from work after spending the last 2 days on the couch. There goes any opportunity to workout this week. Well. not much to update now. D's home and curious

SO frustrated at my scale right now...

After seeing the 133 on the TANITA test on Monday, and seeing 135-137 all week here at home is making me worry about what scale is right. Should I just keep going by my bathroom scale or should I go by the one the gym uses that's probably calibrated on a regular basis?? My scale which measures body fat even says I have around 21%. The TANITA said 25%...I'm kinda more inclined to say the TANITA is correct since I wasn't really working out before. I know I would be considered "skinny fat" so that makes sense.

Sorry had to get that off my chest.

Also:

Hello GoxXy! Welcome to my blog!

*~EDIT~*

I didn't get the job. Back to square one. Back to my second full time job of finding a new full time job.

Fuck.

Hello lovelies!!

So it's summer in full swing here. Today it will be over 43 with the humidex. Thank goodness I'll be inside all day today. Unfortunately, I'll be working until 9:30 tonight but gotta make a buck.

I'm still waiting to hear back from the job I interviewed for the other week. I've been on edge for the last week wondering if I will be getting out of Costco for good or not.

Driving around town on the weekend I discovered that there's going to be a Moksha hot yoga studio opening up near by! I'm super excited about this because I may just be able to take yoga regularily again! woo! There's no schedule posted yet and no opening date yet. But I'm hoping that this studio will have some regular people hours rather than marketing directly to stay at home wives/moms.

Anyways, I'm off to get ready for work.

The Damage

So as promised here are the stats from the Tanita test from the gym.

Weight:      133.6 lb (my scale at home weighed me in at 135)
BMI:          21.6
BMR:        1430
Fat %:        25.1 % (NOT good at all)
Fat Mass:   33.6 lb
FFM:         100 lb (this is fat free mass)
TBW:         73.2 lb (this is total body water)

So I'm in the "desirable" range but I need to bring down my Fat % by AT LEAST 4%. I'll be able to do this by working out and cutting out a lot of bad foods. I should be eating better. I'm eating low cals but not good ones (if that makes sense).

The trainer also went over what I was eating. Even with lying about half of what I was doing (adding extra meals) she still said I wasn't eating enough! I was like Holy (insert explative here)! How much do you expect me to eat?? If I did what she was saying I would always be eating something. I wouldn't be able to do anything OTHER than eat! I don't know if I can bring myself to eat at my BMR level on a regular basis. Maybe I'll keep that as my maximum allowance when I know I'll be eating at a friend's or out. I think that seems like a good level. Oh well. So that's the dirt on me.

The big 200 ~!!

Hello lovelies!!

As part of my 200th post I've decided to do a bit of a thinspo post. I thought I would change it up and add some images to this post instead of just blabbering on as I normally do :p

And finally, here is just an entire post that has aptly been named Posting bikini pics on Facebook takes balls… and a great body

So onto the usual now

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I got an e-mail from the company I interviewed with last week. I'm still in the running for the job and should probably find out next week.

D took me downtown last night on a date :) We ate at one of the pubs in the market. I just had a garden salad and then we went and browsed in the mall. I bought a t-shirt from Marciano in the yellow. I also bought 2 nail polishes from Chanel. I had money left on a gift card at the Bay (department store) from my wedding gifts and I thought I would spoil myself with two bottles:

Tomorrow I will be giving myself a much deserved (and needed) mani-pedi. I really love spoiling myself every now and then and 2 gorgeous colours for my nails is the perfect way to do it. I will be getting my hair done next weekend (FINALLY) and I'll be lightening the colour ever so slightly.

In 2 weeks I have an anniversary party/dinner to go to for one of the schools I went to. I have absolutely no idea what to wear and I can't really afford to buy a new dress for the occasion. I'm thinking something maybe simple like a LBD. I don't really have anything summery and current that would be awesome to wear so I think I might just keep it simple.

I went out tonight with my parents and my sister to the movies. We saw X-men First Class. It was pretty good. Nothing awesome, but still it was nice to be out with the family for an evening.

Monday, I have an appointment at the gym to have my stats taken. So I'll be measured, weighed and I will have my body fat and such taken as well. I will then promptly come home (If I can't talk them into letting me use the gym early as my first day is the 14th) and post on here exactly what their magical machine has put me at. Right now, my scale reads me at 136 lbs and too much body fat. I will post their number I just don't like what my scales says right now.

I have decided to do another 4 week plan with the Highschool Beauty Queen website. It's another points system but the program is a lot more flexible. I'm allocated a maximum of 26 points a day. Food accumulated points and exercise/cardio removes points. So there will be a lot of incentive to keep working out. It will be a great final push for the month of July before my vacation. I will post the plan later this week. For June, my goal is just to get into the habit of going to the gym multiple times in a week. I hope to be able to get there at least 4 times every week.

Lastly:

I just wanted to thank all of you for still reading this blog. I never thought I would get 56 readers here. You are all amazing! Sometimes, I feel like just a speck in this endless community of wonderful people and think: nobody would ever read my rants and babbles, but you girls are all here. Thank you for putting up with my 200 posts of nothing, failed attempts, my slow labourious weight loss and just in life in general. I hope to share 200 more (and many more) with you all!

I have a gym membership again!! (does a dance around the room)

Well...it technically doesn't start until the 14th because I can't make payment until the end of the month, but I HAVE A GYM MEMBERHP AGAIN! And I plan on ACTUALLY using it this time very very regularily.

I think I might try to get D to join up with me, and one of my friends who lives near by, the gym she went to went out of business so she's looking to join up somewhere else now.  So I may have a constant gym buddy for the evenings.

The heat is crazy here right now. Yesterday it was about 40 degrees Celcius with the humidex. It makes wearing work appropirate wear quite difficult when you have to wear sleeves and you can't wear shorts. Any thing with length is almost killer.

So onto the usual...I'm hovering around the 134 mark. Today, I will be sipping a Booster Juice as the heat makes it so hard to actually eat. I had a (as in 1) strawberry this morning but my stomach wasn't feeling so well. I've already had a litre of water and it's just after 9. Yesterday I actually drank over 4L. I'm going to aim for that or more again today.

So I'm still waiting to hear from the NAC for an interview. I'm not sure if I will hear from them because since they are a Government funded centre in the heart of the captial they are very strongly bilingual. Bilingualism is the bane of this city. Ultimately it makes it near impossible for anyone to find a job other than clerical in this city. I'm thinking I will have to settle for something once again not in my field. I doubt at this point I will ever be able to get my foot in the door. Well at least I'll be getting out of retail and who knows, maybe I'll end liking whatever job I end up getting.

So the weekend was a blast. It was probably the most fun weekend I've had in quite a while. It was good to see all my friends again. J did an awesome job at the half marathon. She ran 21km in 2 hr 9 mins. She worked so hard to get to that. She doubled her distance in a year. Last year she ran the 10 km and this year the half, however, she vows she will never run the full marathon. We'll see though, she's always one to push barriers.

T has started training again for another fitness competition for October. Her boyfriend works for the US military and has been posted here for the last few years. He's reinstating for another deployment (luckily in the US) and wants T to go with him. She's hesitant because she's not sure if she's ready but she doesn't want to give him up. We all love him to death here. He's been the best thing for her ever since we've all met her. We haven't seen her happier and we would love her to go with him. I feel for her because everything she knows is here in Ontario, and if she leaves for the US she will be totally dependant on him. Now, she will probably be able to get a Visa easily and eventually be able to get a job. She's resourceful and determined so that's no problem at all. I just hope she doesn't regret what ever decision she ends up making. Either way all we can do is be there for her.

Anyways, off to start my day. Hope you are all having a wonderful week and the weather is as wonderful where you are as it is here.